A bit about Me

[spiritgirl]

Ive had anorexia my whole life. Problems with my eating started at the age of 9 and i first started denying myself food from the ages 9-11 years. When I was 18 and moved out of home things escalated. I am now 42

[Pointeless]

Hi spirit girl,just wanted to respond to say thank you for sharing a bit of your background, it can't be easy to reflect upon.x

[Angelus]

Hello spirit girl, I apologise for my delayin responding but I have been physically unwell not allowing me to sit and type. Thank you for coming to this site and sharing some details. We are all sufferers but are aiming to succeed and coming onto this site and logging on just shows dedication to wanting to get well. It has been a long time since I can call myself as being 'well' like you years have passed, but my determination has not. We are all here to help each other and if you can find someway in your heart to open up maybe this is time time to close the evil chapter and open a fresh page in your life.

I wish you well and hope this forum can be of help to you along your journey.

Love and light x

[Ludovica]

Hi spirit girl i just want to say How close I feel to you. I am 44 I have been struggling all my life wirh eat disord. I felt extremely unwell so I have forced myself to join a residential community outside uk as much more affordable. I would like to share with you and all the other people who suffer because of this terrible monster something that for me now is quite clear: not eating at all, eating and vomiting, eating a lot, cuttering etc etc are only symptoms of a deep and unbereable pain that we keep and hide inside. The symptoms give us a sort of temporary anestesy that gives us the illusion to not feel the pain. Unfortunately it is only an illusion. Until we start to nourish our body properly ,until we reach physical wellbeing we cannot fight ED. Once our body gets properly fed, it can feed our brain and it is only then that we can start working on what deep inside gives us so much pain.

No food=anestesy=not able to bring out the causes of our terrible pain

Food=body nourishment=brain nourisciment=no anestesy= we are able to work and bring out the causes of our pain that brings us to destroy our lives and fight them

So sorry everyone for being so technical And maybe for expressing myself in a such confused way but all that is helping me a lot . Believe me since I am looking after myself with food and an healthy lifestyle I have to follow in this centre I have been able to bring out all the things that have caused all that . I am able now to work on the events and circumstances like family relationship and so many other things happened in my life And see the pain I had to go through and i am ready now to understand it to fight and overcome it. The other thing i am aware now we need time to do all that,we need to be patient,we need support,we need to accept that during this journey the relapses are normal,we need to love ourselves and we need to stop feeling guilty. We haven t chosen to be ill it is not our fault. Though we are the only ones who can fight to get the happy life we deserve back.

A big big hug

With all my love

Ludovica