This is something that throughout therapy I was told had to be done and if I am honest I didn't quite understand how to do this and didn't think it was something I could ever do. I was bullied by people close to me while I was growing up and because of this I believe I had learned how NOT to trust people and I, unknowingly, pushed people away despite all I wanted was to feel accepted and loved.
I am on the road to recovery, this has been incredibly hard from start to now and continues to be hard just, more difficult with different situations. However, I now understand that as we travel our own journeys of recovery we gradually learn to accept who and what we are. I am unique and people do accept me for me and, I do not have to try and be someone different. It has taken me a long time and 18 years of suffering anorexia to realise this, I have received a great deal of help and support throughout this time but this would of been wasted energy on their part had I not accepted me and become to like and love the person I am and the body I have been given. It is true recovery does begin from ourselves and once we have started accepting the gift of our life we begin to roll along the road to recovery. I feel proud of myself to say I feel more confident and my sparkle has returned through my hard work of wanting to get well and the things anorexia stole from me I have re-built and continue to do so. I want to feel part of life and I am, I want to be having fun like I do so and, I no longer push people away I embrace life, giving and receiving love.
Life is never easy but, I can honestly say that things seem to be less complicated not living in my eating disorder. I know it is realistic to say people can recover from eating disorders because if I can do it, it is possible. There is a whole world out there to be discovered and so many things to learn, if our determinded efforts can entertain an eating disorder then there is very little we cannot do.
