Really, they don't hold you back, only you do.
I've just got back from the trip of a lifetime to America for 2 months. Before I left I was not at my worst but I wasn't well. The stress of planning and family dynamics were making things very difficult to keep on top of my recovery. I felt fat and embarrassed about the way I looked, so much that when I was asked for a recent photo I refused.
My biggest fear was not getting there, that I would stumble at the last moment, freak out and not go, story of my life. I could have let the eating disorder hold me back but I wasn't going to give it the satisfaction of taking away my life changing experience.
Needless to say, I got on that plane and I did anything and everything I could. I went sky diving over las Vegas, parasailing in Florida keys, ATV riding in Moab, got drunk, gambled and fell over in the middle of the road in las Vegas! Spent an evening with the Navajo tribe in monument valley, flew in a helicopter over the grand canyon. I've met the best friends I could have possibly asked for and before we left America we were planning our next adventure to Australia.
The eating disorder never went away. I had slip ups now and again, I still felt fat and disgusting but once I was surrounded by my friends doing these incredible things I felt free, happy and even beautiful. It took a lot of strength to tell the eating disorder to fuck off, but damn it was with it!
We all deserve to be happy, but actually I've learnt I'm the only one that can make me happy and nothing can stop me. Not even an eating disorder.
What have you done after telling the eating disorder to fuck off? Or what would you like to do?