Hi, It's been over four months since I wrote anything here...
During that time I have really made a lot of changes with myself physically, mentally and in every way possible.
I was and still am, on my way to recovery out of my eating disorder, and I have to say that after al this time I'm in a very good place wright now. It's nearly five months since the last time I tried to purge my eaten meals, so that's something to celebrate. I haven't tried any stupid diets and invasive methods of manipulating and changing my body. Yes, sure some of my clothes, especially jeans don't fit me anymore, and I had to buy some new ones, but I don't mind that now. I'm happy with my body and I have given it a chance to change in to a body of a mature young adult woman. I started to appreciate life more, look at things I didn't notice before, take part in living a happy fulfilling youth. You cold even say that in a way I turned back in time and started appreciating life in a way I did when I was a child.
I finally came to the conclusion that you don't have to be thin and wear super small clothes to feel beautiful and confident in yourself. The thing was I blindly believed that being thin will automatically make me more attractive and successful in life. I will find a handsome boyfriend, know new friends and become the star of the show that I called life. But no, instead of all my expectations I was lonely, sad and constantly stressed about how I act, behave, look, trying my hardest to be perfect. I thought that what I was doing was the wright way... well it wasn't.
I just became a shell of who I really am and nothing more.
After battling for three years with this sickness and somehow feeling better for the longest time, I ever had I have a feeling like I was sitting under a rock with a blindfold over my eyes, and just now I have come to my senses and woken up from a two year long nightmare.
I fell so much more confident in myself and have developed a barrier that protects me from my negative inner thoughts and my disorder tendencies. I really thank my family for all the help they have given me during my recovery process, especially my mum who struggled with the same problem all her life. I really hope that in a few months time I'll be completely healthy and enjoy life to it's fullest!
Here's some hopefully helpful advice (that helped me) for people who want to get better out of bulimia and binge eating :
- Tell your parents.
- Start a diary, or download a app where you will note each day, saying how you fell, what thoughts you had, if you purged that day.
-Throw away any food that could trigger you to purge.
-Eat lots of light healthy food, like fruit and vegetables, that won't make you feel bad about yourself, and in conclusion, make you fell the need to purge.
- Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident and that you feel good in.
- Try to stop compeering yourself to others and if you do ask yourself why you are doing it.
- Try doing things you enjoy and like doing.
- Try to go out for a walk, and not stay home all the time.
- Don't take your wallet when going out, preventing yourself from buying snacks and sweets that could later trigger you to purge.
***I hope these tips will be helpful for some people. I'm not a doctor, and these points are just some that I used during my recovery process.***
Stay strong and I wish you good luck!