Any advice :)

[edrecovery]

Hi,

I’m new to this page, and this is the first time I’ve reached out to people who may be going through a similar situation. I’ve been suffering with a restrictive ED for over a year, and I am desperate to get my life back. Missing out on occasions with friends and family, feeling constantly tired and empty, is starting to take a toll on me. However, I have such a fear of gaining weight, and this makes me feel guilt when I eat and stops me from recovering. Does anyone going through a similar situation have any tips on how to get over the fear of weight gain? How to push yourself to try other foods? Just any advise on starting recovery?

I hope this page can offer me some reassurance that I will get my life back and truly live again, as at the moment I feel I can’t.

[crazycrossstitcher]

You've taken the first step in admitting you've a problem. Suggest you probably need to speak to your GP and discuss specialist ED help and counselling. I know from experience that going it alone my be what you want to do - and feel you should be able to do - but it has only been with help and guidance that I've started to accept the weight gain - expand what I eat - and begin to socialise again - it may be a long wait - so you can also try BEAT and ABC who are really helpful.

[edrecovery in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

I have regular contact with my GP, and I am currently having private therapy but no matter what people say to me I cannot accept the fact of weight gain. I’ve tried so much but my views around food don’t seem to be changing. How did you take the first steps?

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to edrecovery]

I'm afraid - as my therapist said - its rather like swimming - at some point you have to put your trust in the experts and take the plunge - I know the fear - but weight gain has to happen if you are to recover - and eating is necessary - I found it helpful to agree a diet plan - review the weight gain and plan every month - then set a new target - small changes each time - one/two extra items - one/two changes from my "normal safe" foods - gradually things do change and I now eat a much wider range of foods - including chocolate, puddings, biscuits, cheese, fish, meat, bread, cereals - not just vege! You can do it - but do it slowly - with your therapist's guidance.

[edrecovery in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

I know recovery has to come from me, and I need to push myself but it is very hard! I’ve been trying to do what you say, trying foods out of my “safe group” but how do you deal with that guilt after? I feel so guilty and then tend not to have it again as it feels to overwhelming! I just don’t want to gain weight but I also don’t want to feel so empty!

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to edrecovery]

You say you want to recover - but you also say you don't want to gain weight - this is something you need to talk through with your therapist - recovery and weight gain are part of the same package. The guilt - no easy answer - its something I still feel - but I try to focus on one day at a time - and through the meal plan - if its on it then I have to eat it - gradually I got used to the food and the guilt got less.

[edrecovery in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you for your advice. I guess it’s about learning bodies do change - and that’s more than okay. Are you recovered now? Still recovering? If you don’t mind me asking

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to edrecovery]

no problem - am very OK about talking about problems - had them for 40 years! - am still in recovery - still fighting the battles that you are - and pray your battle will be shorter and your recovery quicker.

[edrecovery in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Oh I can really feel for you, I know how much this has effected my life and it’s only been a year so I really wish you all the best in your recovery and I know you will get there one day! Keep fighting! Did you initially get any professional help? Did you find services are really hard to get into?

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to edrecovery]

I've managed to get help now after moving house - it took 2 years to access the service and I'm now on a waiting list for a specialist counsellor - got some dietary help and general mental health support (now ceased!).