accepting body shape and size is one healing aspect of the disease. i know its lifelong as eating is lifelong. but i feel my shape and size is not that of a young person and wishing i was thinner would be abnormal but accepting my size is only possible due to age.
ferne cotton in her book "happy" thanked her body for the amazing things its done like bear children. when i read this i agreed. to under-nurture my body and expect it to produce healthy children is a contridiction in terms but yet i have achieved this twice.
something my mum didn't think possible. i'm grateful for this and to have more children in the future i realise eating for them is vital. so i put on hold my thoughts and feelings until my body is mine again.
this means no marriage until i'm happy with the way i look and i've finished having children.
anorexia for me is how i think, see and feel.
