Thoughts???

[shortstack016]

Is it bad to think that "ana" will never leave me alone???

[Audash]

I think the same, that she will somehow never live me but be more or less quiet with time.

Right now i don't really feel great, for sure i am not depressed anymore but i really don't feel confortable with my body shape. When i see fitgirl (social media or in real), i always feel bad and sometimes even wish i had never recovered. But i also know that if i hadn't i would be already dead

[shortstack016 in reply to Audash]

I don't feel comfortable with my body shape at all. I feel the exact same way!!! Honestly when I look online or when I am out somewhere I compare myself to others and I never want to go out after that. I always think that maybe I would've been better with my old body before recovery but like you said if I hadn't recovered then I would be dead. But it just feels like "ana" is stuck with me.

[Audash in reply to shortstack016]

I agree with you... I always say to myself that thanks we are in january and i can hide with layers of clothes but my friend asked me like 3 weeks ago to go to the swimming pool with her and i said no. Because all i can see is fat... and in my office we are just two and my colleague has also an eating disorder in my opinion. He is really really thin and for example for lunch today he only had a glass of chocolate milk with a little cookie. And it's like this everyday. so it makes me feel even more inconfortable

[shortstack016 in reply to Audash]

I say no to a lot of things now because im too insecure. Have you talked to him about it???

[lillyofthevalley37]

No it isn't bad - it is your observation and your feeling ?

And you are right bc Ana doesn't want to leave you in peace she wants to hassle you to not eat and ultimately destroy you

[shortstack016 in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

I just sucks because all I can think about is Ana. I really want her to leave me alone