binging and puking: I starve myself all... - Anorexia Bulimia ...

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binging and puking

N_Khan
N_Khan
6 Replies

I starve myself all day just be thinking of food and all if a sudden I end up in the kitchen eating anything that is junk. 6 to 7 Cracker biscuits full packet of biscuits that I dont even like, crisp and chocolates that I dont even like and crazy thing is I be shaking and eating till my stomach hurts and I can not stop myself it's like I'm watching myself from inside and then I straight away go to the toilet and puke everything I can and after I feel so bad I start exercising and starve myself for the rest of the day. I am fed up of this I can not stop it used to be once a week or twice now its constantly every day when no ones home that's when I be sat in the kitchen I can't control myself.😔

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crazycrossstitcher

Great you made contact - you clearly recognise the problem - now is time to take action and get some help - go to your GP and ask for a referral to a ED specialist - and get yourself checked out as vomiting, starving, bingeing all have health impacts and you do need checking - especially bloods. As ED referrals take for ever (in my experience) - try the ABC helpline - talk to someone - but don't leave things as they are - from experience the longer left the harder it is to break free and recover - so do please seek out help now.

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Anon03

I feel your pain. I too am at this point with my eating it's out of control. I have been the gp and got an apt at ED clinic end of April I went the GPS beginning of February so it takes time to get help. I have since lost a ton of weight and I can't loose anymore but my ED is uncontrollable. I have reached out for other help and been counselling today and I'm reading Eating disorders Anonymous book looking for meetings aswell.

I really would advise you to go your doctors and get help now.

I'm here if you need to talk.

Take care be kind to yourself.... I'm telling you but don't take the advise myself.. what are we like x

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N_Khan
N_Khan
in reply to Anon03

Hi, I plan on going gp but I never have the nerve to as I think they will just refer me to counselling and I dont think that helps. I have also lost a lot of weight I am happy with losing weight I check my weight every morning and night and the more the numbers go down the more I feel better but when it goes higher that's when I feel like I should starve myself even more. I want help but I dont want to gain weight aswell so I am in to mind to ask for help. I have come to a point where my feet and hands are cold as ice and I feel cold 24/7 in summer and winter. I have no energy to go out and even holding a convo halving a laugh with my friends I find it a mission.

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Anon03
Anon03
in reply to N_Khan

I really understand what your saying bit do you want to be like this all your life? I can't see myself still doing this as an old woman (if I make it).

I get how you like loosing weight as it's the illness not you I've been trying to loose more weight knowing I will put some on when I start a diet sheet. But when I give myself a target weight I reach that then want to go lower this again tells me it's the illness and not me it wants us ruined. I will honestly try anything to get better and have started counselling but also wanting to try other things too like cbt hypnosis eating disorders anonymous 12 step program etc I want to get well I realise how ill my mind is....... do you?

Go the doctors do wants suggested give it a go x

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Hope47

I’m currently having CBT-E, I have been diagnosed with atypical anorexia. They follow a programme based on Christopher Fairburn’s book, ‘Overcoming binge eating’. It’s an easily accessible book. It’s interesting and it might be of some use whilst you’re waiting to be seen. Don’t expect the text book to fit you perfectly, I’m certainly not textbook, it might be useful.

Well done for acknowledging that you need help and need to make changes...it’s a long journey but you’ve made a massive step.

Good luck...you’re not alone. X

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Recoveredgirl

Hi!!! First of all: congrats to share this with us. You're an extraordinary and strong person.

Second thing... try to not freak out, please. Keep calm, there's not wrong with you; it's just a biological response to hunger. And YES, there are many ways of stopping what is going on with you. You ABSOLUTELY CAN get better! The process may be difficult or not, but it will only depend on you and how much you are open to accept other's people adivise and recognize the issue you're going through. (i'm talking based on my own experiences)

I know that maybe it's going to be difficult for you to read what I'm going to say, but the answer is simple: in order to stop binging, you have to STOP STARVING yourself and stop exercising that much as well. Also, stop purging. (it will only increase your hunger)

This cycle of restriction is the thing that actually lead you to binge.

Think with me: your body need fuel/energy to function. The fact that you are putting your body into a extreme deprivation of food makes it feel scared, since it isn't getting the fuel it needs. So it stars to think like "OMG this human is doing so much exercises and he's just not giving me the fuel (food) I need. I'M GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD YOUR STUPID HUMAN!!!! I need food to keep things going on here ok? GO THERE AND EAT SOMETHING. Eat, human. Eat... Eat E A T!!!!!!"

Your body need food to survive. If you don't give it what it wants, it completely freaks out and make you eat anyway. That's because you become obsessed with food all day long. (Cuz you have to EAT!) And if you keep privating yourself for so long... when you finally give up, go there and eat... your body will try to put the more number calories it can put. WHY? Because your body is AFRAID. It's SCARED because it doesn't know when you're going to eat again (since you starve yourself all day long) and it NEED to have some reserve of fuel/energy to keep your metabolism working. That's because you go there and eat things you don't even like.

However, I have to feel you that I'm not a professional, I'm justing telling you my experience with eating disorders. Then, my advice is to get some professional help. Another thing that I've learned during g my recovery: prohibit yourself to eat some type of food will only make you want to do that. So, take easy with yourself. Don't starve all day long, that's because the binges happens later. And if you don't binge, you won't purge.

Then EAT, dude! E A T during the day. Smaller meals, if necessary. Just find a way you feel comfortable in... Eat healthy. Get the nutrition your body needs! And please, don't feel guilty because you're eating. Our bodies need to eat to survive.

Kisses!!! Get better soon ❤️

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