Log in
Anorexia Bulimia Care
2,709 members1,280 posts

Scary trigger

I have recently become increasingly self-conscious about my figure. Since recovery I have gained weight and I had almost forgotten what it was like when I tracked everything and anything I ate. However recently I’ve been not doing as well in training and the other day I saw a photo of me in a race and I looked so, flabby and unhealthy next to all the skinny “running type” girls, I feel too fat for my own sport and begun acossiating skinnyness to being successful again. It’s making me so sad and there are points where I just can’t do anything anymore . I just want to cry because I feel like such a failure but I also hate myself for thinking that. I don’t know what to do. The main thing that helped me before was running, knowing that I’d be a better athlete if I recovered. But now I feel that even that is slipping away and I’m panicking

3 Replies

Perhaps it would be good to talk to someone about your body image and how you feel about yourself. Comparing with others is never good - you are you - special - a one off - and there's no one else like you. Bodies also develop at different rates and are designed to be different shapes - being a skinny runner is not success - so do please talk to someone to help you see the person you are designed to be - not the image of someone else.

1 like

Hi Running girl...it takes all sorts of body shapes to be a runner. Be proud of your body & what it can do ...you are strong and out there so well done . The only person thinking your body shape is wrong is you . You have come so far ...life is better with running in it & if you restrict again you will not be able to run as well xxx


Your feelings are understandable. I get it. (I was a marathon runner.) After going through counseling and gaining weight, I had to learn how to think normally about food and my weight. I rarely count calories, obsess about food, binge and purge, weigh myself compulsively, etc. Nonetheless, sometimes, I gain weight. I have learned to just cut back for a week. That is what normal people do. I try to be easy on myself, not starve myself, and know I will feel hungry. My faith, prayer, good friends, journaling and reading help too. It is amazing how in a week I "feel" normal again and my mind stops that racing, punishing myself for not being perfect. Also, I have learned my "cravings" were for God's love, more than food and running well. "Made to Crave" is a book you might want to check out. bit.ly/2VDQJ1Q Hang in there, my friend!


You may also like...