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Anorexia Bulimia Care
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Hi, I’m new to this so hope somebody can help me. My daughter is an inpatient on ED unit as she is anorexic and is doing really well, the only thing stopping her from being discharged is her ability to shop and cook, she will eat anything that is given to her but when it comes to buying ingredients and putting meals together she is struggling massively, obviously she knows what’s in her meals but when it comes to doing it herself she really struggles and is tearful when eating it, her BMI is in the healthy range now but she is still expected to eat height calorie meals and when she has to cook foods containing cheese and cream she’s finding it very stressful, she has spoke to her cbt therapist and nurses about this but nobody seems to be helping, is there anyone out there that has had the same feelings x

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Your daughter really needs support at meal times will she be on her own when she has been discharged ? It will be a recipe for disaster if she is left to fend for herself because the anorexia will seize the opportunity to take control. Is there any sort of lunch club she could join near her or could you pay someone to be with her for an hour over mealtimes ? This is such a tricky area that needs addressing. If you and some others could take it in turns to cook and eat with her this would be best for your daughters recovery, hope you manage to sort it .

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Many thanks for your reply, although she will be coming home to her dad and myself when discharged she will be unsupervised at some mealtimes so yes I will be organising different family members at these times to be with her, I’m just so shocked that nobody in the unit where she is seems to see how much of a big thing this is, I never realised myself until recently, in my mind I assumed as she eats there she must be recovering but she has been honest enough to say she can’t eat a meal if she has to make it, the concern is how does she get over this. I’m just so upset by it all. Thanks for your msg x

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at this point she can only eat when someone else makes it - you have to intervene at your daughters mealtimes for as long as it takes with gentle but firm encouragement she will feel guilty if she eats as if she is breaking a pact with "Ana" but you have to stand firm against Ana

what a weird and destructive illness it is - keep up the fight and you will get there ,

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Hi

I’m so glad to hear she is doing well in the unit. For her to get discharged from the hospital, maybe for meantime someone (for example you) could help her to cook her meals and she could be there by your side watching as you cook it so she’d get used to it but she wouldn’t have to do it by herself yet. The healing process goes step by step so it takes time and adapting. Doing everything by herself might seem scary and overwhelming to her. No one would be there to monitor her eating and cooking and even if she wants to get better, the food is still her “enemy” and she is not necessarily capable of overcoming it by herself yet.

I hope my thoughts helped somehow :) you are such a strong loving mum ❤️ God bless you all.

Love, Maria

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Thanks Maria for your msg I will do that with her this weekend, I guess there’s less pressure at home and hopefully with me by her side she will relax more x

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I am surprised they are not working more with her on this issue in the unit - however - much support will be needed when she's at home as you are aware. Suggest you cook and shop alongside her at least to start with - or get pre-prepared ready meals for times when this is not possible. I can understand her anxiety - she's suddenly having to take control for herself - rather than the hospital making decisions for her - again I would have thought this should be looked at while she's in hospital to gradually increase her control over food and shopping. It's going to take time and she's going to have to learn how to make so many decisions for herself - so good luck with this. May be ABC would have some helpful suggestions - give their support line a ring.

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