I’ve had bulimia for more than 25 years.
I now live on my own so no need to keep up any pretence or hide my disorder. I can eat as much as j want and throw up without having to fear that someone will hear me or see me.
My binging and purging has gotten so bad and so out of control that it feels like obsessive eating. I go out to the shops and buy food knowing full well that I will eat it and throw up.
I try to stop myself but feel compelled. I have no control and it’s driving me mad. I have no savings and literally live from hand-to-mouth. My weight is rising so there too I feel like I’m no longer in control. I’m not even successful at purging enough to keep my weight down.
I want to stop this cycle, but I can’t. How do I stop something from that I’ve done for half of my life... I need to get back control and self-control. I just don’t know how.