I think i need help..

Hi, when I was 12 years old, (I'm now 15), I started to feel pressure about my weight. I was watching videos of models and korean girls, a lot of korean girls actually, since that moment, I am constantly watching what I eat and how I look, or how I weight. I am 5"9 and my weight is 139 (around that). But for the past few weeks, I ate very small portions. Like 800 calories a day. The thing is that I don't look underweight. Actually I have a little bit of fat. So I tell myself that i need to lose more weight. After every meal, I feel big and fat and bloated. I exercice a lot in order to lose weight quickly. Last week I was so impressed, I weighted myself and saw that I had lost around 5kg in 1-2 weeks. I can't stop thinking about my weight.. I am afraid of gaining weight. I don't want to start an eating disorder but I can't stop myself! It's that even if I want to be healthy and strong, I want to be thin and not eating is the perfect solution. I don't know what to do.. Please help me, if ou have some advice, please tell me.

[ClarissaS13]

I completely understand. I myself have had problems with my weight and how I look in the past, and I still do to this day. The problem with restricting how much food you eat is that while you will lose weight at first, it's not a permanent solution.

"First, your body will go into starvation mode. When this happens your metabolism starts to slowly shut down. You make your body think that it may not get food for a while so it will fight to keep every calorie and ounce of fat. It is basically like a protection mechanism which aids our survival. It would be beneficial if we were stranded out in the middle of nowhere and didn’t know when our next meal would come.

Secondly, after a period of starvation, most of us will crack. When we crack under severe hunger we tend to gorge. It’s pretty much uncontrollable so you really don’t ever want to get to that point. You shouldn’t ever have to.

Thirdly, gorging on a huge meal after your body is in starvation mode will cause the calories to be processed differently than normal. If your body is running on a slower metabolism and trying to cherish every calorie, the food that you throw at it all of a sudden will be stored as well. Guess what comes next? Yup, more body fat.

When you starve yourself you tend to just end up eating more at the end of the day anyways. The only difference is that your body will have a slow metabolism when you do eventually eat" (Adam Pegg).

steadystrength.com/why-you-...

If you can stop now, I really encourage you to try. If you don't, you might get to the point where it's too late. Take it from someone who knows. Also, you are beautiful just the way you are. I know it's hard to believe, but it's true. People tend to be their own worst critic. 800 calories is not enough food. Someone you're age and height should be consuming about 2000 calories per day. I think you should try and focus on what you like about yourself, not on what you wish you could change. If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will never be happy with who you are.

[crazycrossstitcher]

Please do seek some help - either a school nurse/counsellor or your GP - and if you can talk to your parents about your feelings. Your thoughts around body image, food and weight need to be addressed so please do talk to someone. ABC has a confidential helpline as does BEAT - so please do contact them and talk through your issues. 800 calories a day - exercise and the rapid weight loss and desire to continue this will have a serious impact on your health and well being so please don't think you are OK - you are not and you need help and treatment now - from experience the longer you leave it the harder it is to get things sorted out and getting it sorted now is very important.