Starting to have relapse thoughts

[Sophie1234x]

Hey so I’m 3-4 months into recovery and I feel like I’ve overshot my pre-ed weight because my pre-ed clothes are feeling tight. I’m really scared my weight gain won’t stop. I have always been naturally slim but I’m not sure if overshooting will change that. I restricted for 4 months so I thought recovery and weight gain would take shorter. I’m also having random days of extreme hunger recently but I thought that ended a while ago. Starting to doubt recovery and really bad body dysmorphia Anyone experience anything like this or have any tips please xx

[ella_andrews]

No I definitely agree – I am so much bigger than my pre-ED weight. I don't know how to stop relapse thoughts because I literally get them all the time. I am determined to maintain weight through because otherwise I'll be unhealthy and unable to go back to ballet which is the only reason I attempted recovery in the first place. Sorry I can't be of more help. x

[Sophie1234x in reply to ella_andrews]

Thank you so much, helps to have someone who can relate. I have to go back to dancing but I feel like everyone will judge me because I was always known as the ‘skinny girl’

[ella_andrews in reply to Sophie1234x]

No, me too! I always hate going to see my friends or people who knew me when my ED was not yet diagnosed and I feel so insecure! But equally, I think it helps if I just focus on dancing and realise that my body will get more muscular and toned now that it is at a weight when it can actually build muscle. x

[Sophie1234x in reply to ella_andrews]

Yes I’m gonna try think that way too x

[crazycrossstitcher]

Suggest it would help you at this point to seek some support/counselling to look at your feelings re self worth and image - ABC can be helpful or via your GP - your clothes are bound to feel tighter - my experience is that getting used to the feel of clothes actually fitting - low weight meant everything hung on me - took time - and the ED thoughts take time to deal with - which is why I suggest you seek support - EDs persuade you that things are tight, your weight is too much, it will never stop getting greater - and it is these thoughts that you need help to counteract - so do go to your GP/therapist - or ring ABC helpline - befrienders are available and I found helpful.

[Sophie1234x in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thanks so much, my GP sent me to a psychiatrist but I’m on a waiting list so who knows when I’ll actually get an appointment 😔. I think you’re right about getting used to clothes actually fitting