Recovering from recovery??

[katiemck98]

So for a few years I have struggled with bulimia which developed into anorexia and saw a CBT therapist for 8 months until I had restored my weight and a relationship with food. However due to recent life events I have relapsed into a disordered pattern of eating; I don't eat in the day or in public unless I have to, then eat a lot at night and binge sometimes. I don't have the effort to purge sometimes and have resorted to self harm sometimes. My eating is so strange because I can eat things with high calorie content when I am alone and with family but if I am with friends or in public I just can't. Because I am a normal weight I feel like a failure and I am just struggling a lot

[crazycrossstitcher]

Firstly - you are not a failure - and never label yourself as such. EDs are an illness and no one blames themselves for the flu! Secondly - get back to your GP or medical services and ask for further support to help you through this difficult time. You've beaten the demon once - you can do it again - so do get some help before the pattern you describe becomes more serious.

[Hidden]

Hey diamond

You are not a failure. That critical part is the eating disordered devil whisper.

I hope you get help again soon. Eating out in public is way harder than eating alone or with family. The ‘outside’ world is full of stressors and potential triggers and so dont punish your self for finding it harder. The only way to be able to eventually do it is to slowly try. Eg try having something small outside- whatever your most comfortable with. Set a plan maybe. Eg this week on saturday im going to meet jill and we’ll have coffee outdoors. (I suggested coffee becaus rits not food so it may be easier) then next saturday, ‘im going to try and have eg a muffin outdoors or something else really small’ if your friends know about your ed u cud ask them for support. Perhaps ask them to start eatin first and whilst your eating ur muffin notice the feelings and fears coming up and tell ur friend who should be able to reassure you. Eating disorders are ugly and retain their tight grip because no one dares challenge them. Start fighting back, reminding your self of the glorious conqueror you are. A woman warrior. And you have come this far- thats an achievement. Dont let this devil take up anymore of your precious life and memories to make! Wishing you the best of luck. Congradulate yourself for each small step of progress because then ull feel more encouraged to keep taking bigger badder bolder steps x best wishes