Has anyone out there been in intensive rehab for an ED more than five times in ten years?!? All top notch clinics. Most recently at UCSD twice in two years.
The individual, who is now 26, seems to think it is okay for his family to fully support him each and every time, which they feel they are obliged to do, however he gives nothing in return. Each time, he lets his health slip to the point of hospitalization prior to checking himself in, however that is after his social life with his girlfriend (who also had an ED) runs wild and care free, travels all over the world, works minimally with part time dead end jobs(although a college grad he continually claims his ED is holding him back), does not follow up with the clinics or counselors afterwards, and within a year....this behavior is repeated!!! He blames everyone and everything with this pattern and behavior but himself.
His parents never hold him accountable because of the scare tactics and threats he uses, always blaming his ED. They are afraid of losing him.
How are the ED Clinics not finding this alarming, and allowing this to happen time and time again??? At this point, I often question the professionalism of many of the ED care providers.
Would appreciate any feedback, or similar situations.
Written by
lori716
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Iv not been in repeated treatment this is my first time but Iv been seeing someone for a year now and I know that letting go of the ed is extremely hard and scary it sounds weird but it seems like to me that he wants to stay inpatient he finds it easier to cope with all the support around him instead of trying to cope with the outside world on his own and when it comes to Ed’s you really don’t believe your sick enough until your in hospital either that or he just doesn’t want to get better
Your response was a great help! He has been hospitalized several times prior to his treatments. He has found a safety net in program and thrives off the attention, kindness, caring and support he is getting from those in program He repeats the same motions over and over again. Noone seems to be pushing him further. His treatment, no matter which clinic, seems to be written in stone somewhere and there is no deviation. When he is released after six months....the downhill spiraling motion slowly begins.
You have to remember that he has a mental illness - and its so much easier to be on the sidelines looking inwards taking the logical view - but mental problems are never simple and never easy to treat and also EDs are extremely powerful and take a total grip on people. At the end of the day it is down to the young man concerned whether he accepts and benefits from treatment - the service providers can only offer the best treatment they can - if this is rejected they can do little about it. I feel desperately sad for the young man concerned - his life is being continually controlled and ruined by his mental illness - but unfortunately neither a hospital, his parents or his friends can force him to get better.
Thank you for a very potent and logical explanation. I understand it is a mental illness and we will never give up on him. I only wonder if repeating the nearly exact same program over and over again is helping him or enabling him? Even he admits he can run the programs with regards to the information, therapies, nutritional output, etc. He tells us he can't work because getting better is his full time job. I understood that at first, but can't a person with an ED hold down a job and receive treatment at the same time? It is almost like these clinics have become his safe haven and second home.
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