I wrote a post a while ago and had finally admitted I had a problem to my GP. This resulted in an urgent referral to an ED clinic. I realise I was lucky to get this so quickly and have had my first CBT sessions.
The first priority seems to be to get me to a safe weight and I understand the logic of this. However, I am struggling with this as I still have the issue of not wanting to gain weight. I had to discuss why I want to gain weight and realise that this is more about pleasing other people and saving them from worrying. I have been given a meal plan which includes meals and snacks but I can't do this and just end each day feeling like a failure. I eat a bit more at weekends when my husband is around and this is to keep him happy.
I feel like this is Groundhog Day and I'm not getting anywhere but it's my fault because I don't really want to change enough.
I don't know what to do, am I wasting everyone's time? Should I tell my psychologist at my next appointment that I can't do this or wait to see if anything changes?
I guess I just want the opinion of someone who has been there rather than the well intended advice of people who think it's easy to just decide to change and do it.
Sorry for moaning but thanks in advance for any advice you can give.