Soooo tired !!!

[Lord99]

After getting back into my college routine I’m finding myself extremely tired and grumpy, after starting to feel like myself again after years I’m beginning to feel like recovery isn’t worth it as I feel worse now than I did before, I know I need to do this for my body but it seems like I’m fighting a loosing battle. Being back in college has offered distractions but this feeling of ‘ugh’ is looming over me no matter what I do, I want to get better even if my GP is not willing to help me but after everything that has happened or is happening it’s starting to seem impossible, i don’t see the point in recovery anymore my motivation has totally gone and I’m going backwards. The guilt I associate with food and my obsession with exercise is slowly creeping back and I’m scared of going backwards after building the courage to tell people

It seems that no matter what I do everything is against me.Has anyone else experienced this ? Or something similar. Any advice ?? I’m running out of ideas....

[TPepper]

Hello!

I completely understand and relate.

I was in a better place earlier in the summer. I was eating properly and enough but it sucked do badly. I was still obsessed. I was counting calories and miles and weighing food and every day, I would think, I cannot do this.

Unfortunately, I have fallen back into the cycle of restricting calories and bingeing. But, I do not feel like it is a complete defeat. I was eating properly - even if I struggled - so I know I can get back there. I am also a lot more open to people. Months ago, it was so scary to admit out loud that I have an eating disorder and whilst I cannot talk openly about my problems, I have accepted the label and told my friends and I do accept help. So you may feel like it is a failure if you relapse, but my point is, it is not necessarily weak.

Maybe write a list of all the positives of recovery? Maybe talk to someone? Have you got an support in terms of therapy?

Your GP isn't willing to help you? Oh no. That sucks. I can relate. My GP talked to me like I was wasting her time and wasn't convinced I had an ED. The nurse also told me I needed to lose weight ( I am healthy weight by the way) then told me that I didn't want to lose too much weight because I'd become to thin and I thought, what the actual f***? I was in recovery, TRYING so hard to focus on maintaining my weight because believe me if I wanted to lose weight, I could just not eat enough which I am fine with. So yeah, sometimes GP#s can be useless and it really is off-putting. I fortunately have a GP at Uni who is lovely. My suggestion to you is to ask for another GP if possible.

Hope this helps.

[crazycrossstitcher]

EDs are very powerful and take over your mind so easily and so completely - the harder you fight the more the ED tries to take back the control - so yes - been there. Does the college have any support you might access - I know I saw a student counsellor and it really helped me - I was also amazed how many others actually struggled like I did - and not being alone really helped. ABC also has a help line you can phone - and a good website.

[emilyjade]

Hey, sorry to hear you're having a hard time

Just some words of encouragement- You need to keep at it, keep fighting, every day it's a ridiculously hard battle but we all have to try to keep fighting. Could you go to your doctors? Or research an ED meeting, I think those are quite helpful at making you feel less alone.

I promise you are not alone and I really hope you feel better soon, keep at it, you got it💪🏼