So for the past 3 and a half years now I have never got my full energy back. Nor felt quite normal since then. I started off with anorexia .. didn't fully get help cause of financial reasons. Relapsed on and off cause I didn't know how to get away from anorexia. Around year 3 I finally got diagnosed with POTS. I also died by a cardiac arrest but I wasn't revived. I know how that sounds you can decided to believe me or not. But that hurt. From then on my heart would hurt off and on. The doctors said up until now that there was no damage. I've learned that people that tend to die from a ed sometimes don't show damage even after their dead. But the cause is obvious.. their heart. It stinks because doctors really only have the tip of the ice burg of knowledge. I've taken it upon myself to be mainly my own. I only trust around 4 doctors out of the other 7 I've seen. Why because my research has actually paid off and I've felt better on some occasions. Anyways.. last December I relapsed so bad.. the worst I've ever been. My heart was hurting more than ever and I became like a skeleton. I had gone through another traumatic event and went off the deep end. I've been making an effort to truly recover. Accepting it. I want to .. I want to live and love life. Before I relapsed hugely I was sick off of many meds i was on. Even meds that cause me to lose my appetite. I was in a wheel chair and was basically a vegetable at the time ( sorry for the term). I was completely disabled and couldn't even look at particular things because they would make me so sick. I would drule on my side and stare at walls all day long. That was for months. I went out on a limb and went off the meds safely. I couldn't eat much without my stomach reacting badly. I did my research on that. Gave it time.. avoided foods and added some natural healing remedies.. lost faith in the process. And hey 4 months later I could eat small amounts of the foods I couldn't. 8 months total.. my stomach was healed. Which leads me to now. I've recovered much of my weight and my blood doesn't pool ( that I know of ) anymore. I've kept up my electrolytes, depression meds, getting around to iron. Still off an on with food but eating more than I used to. And keeping up with it more than I used to. I'm able to do a little more. I should probably mention I was an excessive exerciser and run distance. I brought it down to once a week. And have felt better when I do run now. Not nearly as weak and sick.. I can run the same 4 to 5 mile distance. I don't go to the gym anymore for now. I don't do anything else other than sleep A LOT.. trying to eat more consistently.. self care, run once a week, try to sleep the best I can... acting class and music class.. Which I barley have enough energy for.. and church. I used to be a lifeguard but quit due to feeling more fatigued. I used to get sick in the sun too until then. I've realised baby steps go a long way. I've given you guys the short unorganized version. Which brings me to now. My iron is borderline. But I'm wondering how long I'll feel this fatigued.. Because despite my chronic illnesses.. they were rooted from my anorexia as I know of. Everything I've came up with has linked to food and the body of course missing something. I was wondering if anyone could relate and maybe had some suggestions. Given that they understand. Maybe I should get in contact with the eddietician again? Ive only had one meal plan set with her.

6 Replies

  • Even though i was a lifeguard I was extremely sick and worked three days full time hours. After those work days.. it would take me the rest of the week to rest and then cycle to work again.

  • Exhautedpigeon, I can relate to your journey only because my daughter is going down the same path. I wish I knew what the answer was. But I do know, it's got to come from her wanting help and wanting to live. I'm sure you will get a lot of responses since there are many on this forum who are going through ED issues. I wish you the best. Keeping you in my thoughts, Agora1 xx

  • Yes that is important. Everything goes hand in hand. The physical sickness and mentality. Personally therapy and working on not being so hard on myself has helped. I don't know what your daughter is fully going through. But it's helped some for sure. True and thank you Agora I hope your daughter starts to realise healing will help some if anything. It's hard to think clearly when your focus is in the wrong areas.

  • Thank you Exhaustedpigeon for your response. Take care of yourself xx

  • Hi dear pigeon. As I was reading your story, out of all your pain and struggle, I could sense so much strength and determination you have towards getting better and healed. Anorexia and depression are one of the hardest diseases one can have, and you have so bravely and successfully been fighting it. Surely it is not easy and rarely goes according to our plans. I think the best, safest and healthiest solution to you is to try to keep everything in balance. Your body has been through a lot of stress as a result of losing and gaining weight rapidly. As hard as it is, try to make sure the way you eat and do exercise is systematic and balanced all the time. As you do different activities (work, hobbies, meeting friends etc) you will be positively distracted from thinking about food and eating and there for anorexia will not be the dominating factor in your mind. The main thing is to have peace. In your mind and in your body. You have to start planning and organizing your daily activities well so that you can get fully healed and you have to promise yourself you will stick to them. Otherwise everything will be scattered and you'll end up being stuck or even go backwards. Anorexia is a demon that wants to kill us physically and mentally. However, your goal is to kill it first. With the help of our family, friends, doctors and nutritional therapists it will be easier. Always remember, you are not alone and there is always help for those who ask for it.

    Take care dear and be strong. You've got what it takes to make it!

    Love, survivor of anorexia/bulimia

  • Thank you Icanhelpyou5. You're absolutely right. If I keep a balance of those important needs I'll be able to continue in the right direction. To do the things I truly want to more so. My body has been through a lot. Our bodies can't be abused. Again thank you for taking your time to respond to this post. It's really amazing that you're a survivor yourself. Takes guts and A constant reminder sometimes that health is not to be underestimated... food. I've had two doctors now tell me to completely stop running. Usually I would continue despite the advice given. But now as much as I love to run I gotta. I may like to run in circles but not certainly with life lol. I don't know you but I'm proud of you.

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