Hi everyone.
I got his app just to share this and see if I have anything in common with someone.
So, I'm Alex.
I once starved myself when I was 9. I thought I was fat, and I had gotten over it eventually, but then this happened...
Last year, i had eaten something bad and I had gotten very sick to my stomach. It got better, but at times it was very bad. I tried not eating as much food as I usually would because I was scared that eating something would make my problems even worse.
I had started holding my bowels in because I was scared to use the bathroom, I didn't want to have more diarrhea, but I kept holding it and holding it. But then I couldn't anymore, so I went and nothing got better. I stopped eating and started starving myself and I didn't tell a single person. After awhile my mom had started noticing changes in my weight, but she didn't say anything. And she never did.
This all started when I was 10. I was attempting to cut myself.
After a few months, it got a lot better! I stopped starving myself. But it got worse, every morning I would have super bad abdominal pain, and it got in the way of school, which still happens today. I started starving myself again. I didn't tell my mom back then, but I finally did and she took me to see a nurse. The nurse gave me probiotics which didn't work. So 2 weeks before school started we saw a real doctor. She told me I was constipated. I didn't tell her that I was starving myself though. She gave me a laxative and gave me probiotics. They don't work. I'm going to school now, and it's very hard. These past weeks I've had diarrhea along with consolation which is making me starve myself more. Everyday after school I whine and cry it's just so hard for me to keep a smile on all day.
My doctor told me to eat more fiber, so all I eat is fruits and veggies, I barely eat any carbs. Now I am starting to eat regular. I eat chips and bread and sandwiches. That's about it I am starting to have suicidal thoughts. I told my mom and she told me that I'm beautiful and everything, but I think I'm fat. My doctors noticed a weight change. I had lost 5 pounds from my appointment with a nurse, which was around 2 months before I went to a doctor.
Anyways, I never am full and I'm so so hungry I really just want to order pizza and eat it all. I am restricting myself from eating such things so I don't have the diarreah. It's just getting worse and worse and worse. I really need help.
Does anyone has any advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
