I've realised I have issues with control and food seems to be one area of major control for me at the moment as there are things going on in my life that I feel I cannot control and I can't deal with such intense feelings, but not sure if this control constitutes an eating disorder. In some ways I think I'm heading that way but I also don't feel ready to change as I get comfort from feeling empty or purging after binging on high calorie foods. I don't feel I fit in any box as I have both starving and binging symptoms. Since January I have lost over 4stone but still have a healthy bmi and not underweight.
I went to the gp a month ago but she weighed me and said as I'm not underweight she couldn't refer me to e.d. Services so now I feel stuck. I used to have an eating disorder as a teen and fear I'm returning to those patterns but not sure what to do. Part of me is determined to lose even more weight to feel I do qualify for help and have lost over 1/2 stone since visiting the gp, but it's coming off slower now so not even sure I have a problem and not just attention seeking.
I've joined here hoping to get some advice and talk to people in a similar situation as I feel very alone with everything at the moment.