food and ocd?

[Kessa]

Hi there, sorry about the million posts i write..I was just wondering if there's such a thing as restriction related to ocd or the need to follow rules?

Something like " I m worried about something, but I go and buy xx food..I feel at least I ate well this morning, so probably this little ritual will make things go in the right direction.."

Does it make it more sort of ocd-related?or would it still be a typical Ed thought?

Just wondering because i' ve recently heard about ocd-related food rituals and i had never heard of it.

I m just trying to put in words why I have rituals but when i was struggling with my body I used to have rituals too..

So confused:/

Someone ever had ocd and can explain me the difference from Ed rituals and if ed can turn into ocd? I m writing some notes for an assessment.

Thank you

[crazycrossstitcher]

Don't think it matters what you label it - you seem to have issues around food and body image - do get some counselling and help to sort your thoughts and feelings out - giving something a name doesn't mean its any more or less of an issue - and can mean we ignore problems we have. Seeing a counsellor helps sort out the thoughts and feelings and deal with the issues we have.

[Kessa in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Hi crazycrossstitcher,

Thanks for replying!

I m not interested in the label itself but i was hoping some people describing their thoughts could help me give me some insight about mine.

I have an appointment in a week and I don't feel i m able to describe my patterns.

I recently found some information about ocd and food and just noticed that some way of eating can be related to anxiety and having anxiety myself i was trying to put in words how i feel about food and my body.

Kind of feel might be related to some anxiety but i wouldn't know how to answer questions about my behaviors since they change every time and i cannot understand any of them.

It's like not feeling well but not being able to say if your knee hurts or maybe it's your stomach.

Sorry, just an example. I feel completely unable to verbalize emotions. I think i don't have a good opinion on my body but i know they will ask me questions about it and i don't know what the problem is, i don't feel fat and i m not scared of eating but i cannot feel good about myself either. I keep wanting to be small but i have no explanation for that since i don't see myself as fat, i m pretty aware i m a thin girl. I don't even like being too small or undernurished because i m not pretty when i m like this but i feel obsessed with not growing up too much.

Doesn't make any sense to me rationally i see myself objectively and still scared having muscles and body fat.

I basically don't know what to say in my next appointment.

I m scared not to be able to describe how i feel, that is what will allow them to help me.

[crazycrossstitcher in reply to Kessa]

From my experience - EDs are far from rational - you seem to have fears around muscles and body fat ie your body image - and this is an area to explore. I know in my case it was about loss of control - food was an area which I could control in my life - and letting go of my rituals, the amounts and type of food I ate etc was all linked in to this - and CBT and counselling helped me see this and to deal with this. I too am an "anxious" person - and this is another area to look at for you perhaps. Don't worry about not being able to describe your thoughts and feelings - just tell them that at the outset - be honest with them as you have been above - let them help you look at the underlying issues in your life - that's what counselling is about - you resolving issues with them providing the rational and objective thinking - give it a chance and don't be too anxious - its not an exam and there's no right and wrong answers - you are a unique person with unique thoughts/feelings and body - and with help you will get out of this problem - good luck - my prayers will be with you.

[Kessa in reply to crazycrossstitcher]

Thank you very much for the answer and the support!<3

You gave me hope that they'll understand even if i m not the best in expressing myself on some issues.

[mysmugcat]

I'm tired but I'll give this a go. What you say is interesting and makes some sense. I had anorexia. This was a little about control. So is ocd. Also about trying to reign in emotions.