Getting rid of the voice

Hi

I really need some advise guys!!!

I am an outpatient of Anorexia Nerovsa. I have been told I have to gain weight for my chances of having a baby. My periods havnt returned so this is my main goal

Though I am not servery underweight my body still hasnt reached its set point. things still arnt working properly. My digestion being the worse.

Im not severely underweight, but I restrict myself a lot with fear foods and am an excessive exerciser so t me this is not a normal way of living, so I have to gain to be any closer to happiness.

I compensate my exercise for when i dont open my bowels in the morning ( the voice is so strong) it tells me I have to get food out!! Ive become obsessed in this area and have tried every single recommendation going for constipation...

Ive even been to the GPon several occasions , BUT THEY CANT FIND ANYTHING WRONG.

But i dont think I actually am..Its the ED telling me am. Does anyone else have this problem?

I really need some advise on how to block these thoughts out?

Or even understand why my body is holding onto food or why i feel so bloated and how this can make me relapse over and over again

ITAKE MAGNESIUM BUT NOT SURE IF THIS IS HELPING.

Does the feeling of fullness go away?

If I have any chance of moving forward I really need some advise on this as im sick of letting the ED make me feel so low every morning!! It sets me up for failure every day

16 Replies

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  • Hi Sammy!

    I have a real issue with constipation as well, and like you say, in ED recovery your mind tells you that you're fat, even when it's all just air and waste. It's embarrassing how much poo can affect your day! I feel significantly more energetic and positive about life when I've been in the morning.

    I'm currently prescribed laxido/movical sachets, I don't know if you've tried them? I find they work really well. They are really mild laxatives that you take dissolved in water (you can take up to 8 a day but I usually only need 1 or 2, every morning, with breakfast). The more water the better. The other positive is that it means I never ever skip breakfast anymore, because breakfast is like the catalyst I need to get things moving, with the help of the meds, in the morning. Occasionally I get stuck (if I have to be up early I get so anxious about not being able to poo before going out that then I can't go...) so I use an over-the-counter over-night tablet but I try not to because I think my bowels will get lazy if I do.

    Sorry if you've already tried that. You're not alone!

  • Hi smash

    I do have repeat prescription for movicol. I just wonderedof you have used it abroad. Does it still work as effective? X

  • I have used it abroad and i always have much worse symptoms abroad. I don't think it's anything to do with the movicol but just generally the effect of a change in routine and extra anxiety. I tend to preempt it by taking a double dose throughout, which sometimes works, and the occasional dulcolax

    X

  • Hi smarsh. Thanks so much for replying. Let's hope i can get this under control before I go as I really don't want another holiday like the last ones!!!! You seem to be a bit further along in recovery to me... just wondered what your thoughts are on high fibre foods. I have so many contradicting messages from GPS. Dieticians. Intranet that I'm not sure if eating these foods are making it all worse. Maybe alot of it is about me being consious of healthy eating as I suppose a bowl of musili is alot more gelatine than coco pops roght2. I told myslef I would go on a low fibre diet but I can't help worry that this isn't healthy as will provide less of the stuff that we call good. Like brown bread rice pasta fruit and veg. Just wondered what your thoughts were. I've had musili banana and see see soya bread thus morning and now I've feeling slightly uncomfortable. 😢

  • Hey Sammy. I don't know very much about fibre, and from what I've read online before, it seems the messages are pretty mixed - eating more fibre helps some people, but eating less fibre helps others. To be honest I reckon a lot of it is psychological, but that means its harder to fix unfortunately. For me, the key is regular eating - eating at the same times and similar foods at each time, especially for breakfast. And lots of liquid. Fibre works by not being digested and pushing things along your gut, but that only works if there's enough water to help it along too. Sorry I can't be more help! No medical knowledge, just experience. Good luck on holiday :) x

  • Thanks hun. Can I ask what a typical day in your food plan looks like? 😊 xxx

  • The bloating feeling does go away - and looking back much of it was actually in my mind. Constipation can be a problem - but again I let go of worrying about this and as my body adjusted to the new amounts and range of foods it settled down again. The exercise eat cycle is the main problem to the weight gain - my counsellor and I have agreed a strategy of gradual exercise reduction - no reduction in food - then maintaining the reduced exercise and increasing the food intake - this was done in steps which I found less frightening - and it was amazing how even halving my exercise and eating more didn't make me gain vast quantities of weight - which was my fear. Hope you are talking through your thoughts with a counsellor - I found this vital to push me and help me cope with the fear (ED voice) barrier. Having a clear goal is great - but in the end you need to do it for yourself - you need to want to get your life back - and its a battle and not easy - but its so worth it. Good luck - hope you get your health and life back and you have a lovely baby as part of that achievement.

  • Thanks so much. Do you have a any suggestions on how to challenge that voice. I've seen several councillor's. I believe that I now just need to use the tools givenand push on.

    I keep buying supplements like digestive enzymes and probiotics which I'm starting to think are a east of money and the main reason for my symptoms is because I'm so obsessed by it.

    As soon as I get up the ED tells me I have to get food out....

    I'm determined tomorrow to challenge that...Xx

  • Good luck with challenging the voice - take it one day at a time - when you get tempted tell the ED to get lost - tell it you are going to carry on doing what is right for you - and that you want that baby and you want your health and life back - its a really tough thing to do - and getting counselling support I found helped me keep on track - but you can do it - my prayers are with you.

  • Thanks so much. Bless you xxx

  • The hardest part in all this is to keep eating when I'm feeling so blocked up. It's like your ED tells you that no food is coming out so you don't need to feed me... I find times like this I compensate by cutting out or eating safer snacks. Or exercises are excessive to allow myself to feel I have earnt to eat. Xx

  • It would be good if you could explore these thoughts and feelings with a counsellor - I know I felt much the same - more food in meant more exercise needed to earn the right to eat that extra - it was only by counselling and support I managed to force myself to eat without extra exercise - I almost needed someone else's permission - and amazingly I didn't become a blimp overnight either - weight increase was actually very very slow!

  • I completely agree. In the past I get to a certain weight and then panick it will just keep going on and never stopping so I give up. I'm worried I will never get to what they call set point xx

  • It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of anxiety over the situation (obviously! I think it would be strange if you weren't). Being tense and agitated will interfere with your body processes, like digestion (and menstruation)

    I highly recommend peppermint or chamomile tea, especially after eating. It soothes both the mind and body.

    Some foods are good for bloating, some foods make it worse. Find what works for you so you can feel more comfortable.

    I like bananas, asparagus, and yogurt to help bloating. I completely avoid apples, cabbage, broccoli, cheese and bread in excess.

    The digestive system takes time to adapt to new foods/diets -but it does adapt. Things will settle eventually.

  • Thanks so much. I suppose everyone experiences these feelings when they indulge in to much of something. Because I have an ED though it's more about the guilt after it which makes the feelings worse xxxx

  • the only way we shut up my daughters ED voice was to say The Lords Prayer - it was terrified and left my daughter in peace - apparently the ED voice is demonic and vanishes if you say the Lords Prayer or prays to Jesus - it worked for my daughter

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