I'm really struggling. I'm a 19 year old college student and I'm trying to get over a really bad relapse. I was diagnosed with AN when I was 13 but my thoughts have never been this irrational/delusional. I'll commit to following my meal plan when I see my nutritionist, but then someone will sit next to me in class and be eating a sandwich or my roommates will make food and my ED will have me convinced that I need to restrict in order to "compensate" for the fact that I may be affected by the food that others around me are consuming. Also, I'm just afraid that there are calories EVERYWHERE! My blanket rubs against my lips and I'm anxious that can cause weight gain. I use cleaning products to wipe down the sink and I feel the need to restrict because smelling chemicals= ingesting calories in my brain. I'm so scared. I'm working hard but I don't know if I can get out of this hole on my own. I'm debating getting more intensive treatment but I'm scared and I don't want to take time off from school. Any/all advice is greatly appreciated.
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