Irrational thoughts

I'm really struggling. I'm a 19 year old college student and I'm trying to get over a really bad relapse. I was diagnosed with AN when I was 13 but my thoughts have never been this irrational/delusional. I'll commit to following my meal plan when I see my nutritionist, but then someone will sit next to me in class and be eating a sandwich or my roommates will make food and my ED will have me convinced that I need to restrict in order to "compensate" for the fact that I may be affected by the food that others around me are consuming. Also, I'm just afraid that there are calories EVERYWHERE! My blanket rubs against my lips and I'm anxious that can cause weight gain. I use cleaning products to wipe down the sink and I feel the need to restrict because smelling chemicals= ingesting calories in my brain. I'm so scared. I'm working hard but I don't know if I can get out of this hole on my own. I'm debating getting more intensive treatment but I'm scared and I don't want to take time off from school. Any/all advice is greatly appreciated.

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  • Hello Lharn ☺ So glad you posted ~ look I don't want to come across negative ~ you titled your post soo correct ☺ Why can't you get "extra help" is it a social "no, no" to repeating a academic year, if necessary??? You and your health physical /mental are important. Tell your GP what's happening with you now. You need extra counselling 😯 (hey its not forever) 🌺 Julie

  • Lilybut, whilst you really believe in your beleifs ~ please understand what you beleive is just creepy. Wouldn't it be great "to say the devil made me do it" and all responsibility to just be given away.

    I watched a person be tortured by people like you. No amount of blaming the devil/demon, burning incense, using cystals, visiting psychics etc ~ changed ANYTHING.

    Many decades on, the person is getting medical help, finally. Too late for that person to have a "full" life, but finally it's a better life.

    Some things you say are soo good ~ please leave your weirdo beleifs to another site. These people need help and direction, not more BS.

  • πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ You want to fly with the crows ~ you'll get shot with the crows (if you don't know what that means, look it up) If you want to believe in something that came from the days when people believed the world was flat, that's YOUR choice ~ keep it to yourself. There's not one Christian thing about your beleifs ~ you come across more as a zealot/extremist. This site was founded and funded by Medical Professionals NOT weirdos.

  • Good you recognise you need help - so take the next step and ask for help now - don't wait - I know from experience my college work went down hill as the ED took hold - so a year out to recover is worth it - you've the rest of your life to think about - your more important than an academic qualification - so do seek help asap. You can also get support via ABC/BEAT - who both have confidential helplines.

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