Do I wait to get my daughter some therapy?

Hi everyone. I can see that there is a lot of experience and wise words on this forum and hopeful that you will have some to share with me.

My eldest daughter is 15 and we recently discovered that she is regularly making herself sick after meals and has been eating in secret up in her bedroom or when we are out. I'm so proud of her, now that I know about it, she is talking to me about it, a little bit here and there, I don't want to scare her off.

We visited the GP yesterday and counselling was recommended ( self referral) but D has had some counselling at school because of anxiety and low esteem but she found it vague and unhelpful.

Is there value do you think in getting her to see a ED expert therapist or am I jumping the gun? The GP and school counsellors see her as just another teen with commonly seen anxieties but D has suffered with low esteem since she was a child. I don't like to compare but her self belief and worth is markedly different to that of her sisters.

It seems Camhs isn't an option until/unless she is much worse but I'm loathed to wait and see if she becomes so!

I will personally dedicate more of my time to talking to D, unpacking stressful and anxiety inducing situations to see how she can find safer coping mechanisms but should I also pursue some therapy for her at this stage?

Thank you for reading xx

4 Replies

  • Welcome MumCaroline ☺ Therapy for you both is what I feel reading your post. What she is doing to herself is absolutely not ok. I congratulate you both on your steps taken so far. Maybe ABC themselves could help?? Cost effective, to start asking questions and what to do. 💜

  • Mum Caroline!

    First of all take a deep breath!! Recall bright and happy moments together and look forward to many more!! There is no bond stronger than between a mother and a child, however, many times in ones life it will be strained, questioned and pushed to the limit. It is clear that you love your child and want only the best!!! Seek further guidance and let them provide the path which they believe will be the best for all of you.

    Best To You and Yours,


  • MumCaroline, please don't wait to get therapy for your daughter. Move on this while she is still a minor. I'm in the states and once a child has hit 18-21 it becomes harder for the parent to oversee therapy. Here in the U.S. again, once they reach a critical low point, out patient therapists refuse to get involved. I wish you and your daughter well. You're in my thoughts. x

  • Hi Caroline, so glad you have asked for advice.Everyone is different though and not everyone reacts in the same way to treatment.You are doing the best thing poss at mo by giving her lots of your time. My daughter was diagnosed just before her 15th birthday.I dont think she was making herself sick then but was eating in her room a lot and spent a lot of time on Twitter in her room on her own which we now know was very damaging.CAMHS were involved but she couldnt have therapy as her weigh was too low so her brain would not be receptive. Now that she is at a safe weight she has refused all mental therapy. Her recovery continues at home , her therapy if you want to call it that is lots of love and attention and distraction with puzzles , Tv together , gentle walks etc. It is imperative in our house that there is no arguments or conflict as this really upsets her and can cause her not to eat.Things will get better Caroline but it takes time and you may have to change things at home.Please monitor what she is looking at online, there is a lot of dark stuff that can feed this horrible disease.Look after yourself too, you need to be strong for her. Feel free to send private message if you want to chat more

    With love xx

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