Advice needed

Hi, I've suffered with anorexia on and off since I was 17. Im now 33. I've been an inpatient before. Today I was supposed to be admitted however I had a change of heart. My nana died in January and my grandpa has dementia and his kidneys and heart are failing. I only have mum, I'm single with no kids my 2 dogs and 2 cats are like my children. I know that sounds silly but it's true. I was being admitted on a long term basis, doing the full programme and I just couldn't b away from everybody I love. In doing so I wouldn't b allowed home visits for a month or 2. The ed hospital is miles away from where we live. It takes an hour n a half one way. Mum is sole carer for grandpa so she wouldn't b able to visit very often. I expected it to be hard to b away, it was last time but Ive never felt despair like I felt yesterday. The sorrow was over bearing. I've tried to come to some comprises with the hospital for example that I'm allowed home to mums once a week. Im not holding my breath. I've found out that there is a possibility of being sectioned now. Im not refusing treatment I know I'm very sick and I need help to get better. It just feels like I'm being punished for being honest and asking for help. It's made me not want to ask for help in the future. I've always been honest with my councillor and upfront. It's just made me question things. I want to get better and I want make positive changes there just has to be a solution that everyone is comfortable with. Everyone needs to be treated as an individual and everybody circumstances are different. If anybody has any thoughts or ideas on what's occurring please help. I just can't leave everybody for so many months that I love especially as grandpa doesn't have long left and mum and me are still grieving. I know many of u out there will think the fact that I treat my animals as children is cause for sectioning but I would kill for my babies. Think how u would feel if u was told that u couldn't c ur kids for anything up to 12months that's exactly how I feel. I feel like somebody has ripped my heart out and is slowly twisting it. So if u have any thoughts please help. There has to be something that keeps everybody happy and me safe xx

5 Replies

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  • Hi vickijane

    Ok so I'm going to try and tell you what I think. First of all , please don't think I'm trying to hurt or be cruel to you in anyway because trust me I do know exactly first hand what you are going through. Ok, here I go and please forgive me if I am totally wrong. They are talking about sectioning you, it must be bad and you obviously need help. Have you had the support of your local mental health team? Is there any chance of anyone else caring for your animals, I totally understand your feelings about them as I am the same. But, you won't be any good for them if you are dead and you know that's where anorexia leads eventually if treatment isn't given. You are obviously very brave because you have come on here sharing your problem. Do you feel yourself that there is any other route you can follow that enables you to get help without being admitted? I'm not much help really am I but, I just wanted you to know there are people who do care and do understand and I'm hoping someone else will come along and possibly give you some real practical advice. Perhaps there are numbers to phone, where you can get the help you obviously need and want. My heart and thoughts go out to you and your animals and if you want to just ramble on to me, I will always listen. Love and hugs. Xx

    Rose.

  • You sound between a rock and a hard place - and I can hear your despair - however - if they are considering sectioning you things are serious - it might be better to go into hospital now when you have made that choice - and have a degree of control - rather than being forced by others into treatment. Perhaps an urgent conversation with your counsellor might help - or you could speak to the ABC or BEAT helplines who are very supportive. I can listen and respond - but the decision about treatment has to be yours and your alone - it takes a great deal to admit the problem - and even more to undertake the treatment - but do you want to remain ill for the rest of your life?

  • Hugs vickijane7!!!

    Life altering decisions are never easy!!! Through your words you have shown courage beyond your years!!! You need to be in a healthy mind and body before you can truly help others and are only prolonging the inevitable!!! Please, seek guidance immediately. People, truly do care!!

    Lori

  • Hi vickyjane7 ~ what a traumatic load you are bearing. NO you are not nuts feeling how you do towards your animals. If you can't be motivated for you, please be motivated by everyone in your life, animals included. Crazycrosssticher gave you a way to take control of your looming sectioning, just do it :) Yor other responss are lovely you can do this, it's time. ♡ Julie

  • What everyone else said. You can have friends and neighbours look after your pets. Your family love you and will come and see you. I can't say for yours but if it were me my family would much prefer I didn't collapse and die when you have treatment as an option.

    Also without being harsh. You have been given an amazing chance to get better. I have had to pay for treatment since my last relapse because I wasn't deemed ill enough for outpatient treatment. (I needed help to stop me getting to the point I needed IP again).

    Going in voluntarily gives you waaay more freedom than under section too.

    Good luck. Remember its your ED tellig you not to go.

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