Hi, I've suffered with anorexia on and off since I was 17. Im now 33. I've been an inpatient before. Today I was supposed to be admitted however I had a change of heart. My nana died in January and my grandpa has dementia and his kidneys and heart are failing. I only have mum, I'm single with no kids my 2 dogs and 2 cats are like my children. I know that sounds silly but it's true. I was being admitted on a long term basis, doing the full programme and I just couldn't b away from everybody I love. In doing so I wouldn't b allowed home visits for a month or 2. The ed hospital is miles away from where we live. It takes an hour n a half one way. Mum is sole carer for grandpa so she wouldn't b able to visit very often. I expected it to be hard to b away, it was last time but Ive never felt despair like I felt yesterday. The sorrow was over bearing. I've tried to come to some comprises with the hospital for example that I'm allowed home to mums once a week. Im not holding my breath. I've found out that there is a possibility of being sectioned now. Im not refusing treatment I know I'm very sick and I need help to get better. It just feels like I'm being punished for being honest and asking for help. It's made me not want to ask for help in the future. I've always been honest with my councillor and upfront. It's just made me question things. I want to get better and I want make positive changes there just has to be a solution that everyone is comfortable with. Everyone needs to be treated as an individual and everybody circumstances are different. If anybody has any thoughts or ideas on what's occurring please help. I just can't leave everybody for so many months that I love especially as grandpa doesn't have long left and mum and me are still grieving. I know many of u out there will think the fact that I treat my animals as children is cause for sectioning but I would kill for my babies. Think how u would feel if u was told that u couldn't c ur kids for anything up to 12months that's exactly how I feel. I feel like somebody has ripped my heart out and is slowly twisting it. So if u have any thoughts please help. There has to be something that keeps everybody happy and me safe xx
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