A Long Time Suffering

Not sure where to start, I have never really admitted this to other people. I have lived with an ED really for so long that it's just my life now. I started with Anorexia after the birth of my first child , I was 20 and I dropped to 7st which for me looks horrendous. I am now in my sixties and still bulimic, but, I don't lose any weight, in fact I'm putting weight on. It's that evening meal, I just can't stop myself from vomitting after eating. I am disgusted with myself but I really don't know how to stop and I know it has to be affecting my general health. I'm almost frightened to stop, I must say I did totally stop each time I was pregnant and breast feeding. I was teased at school for being a"fatty", my husband cheated on me with someone " thin" and when I was 42 I was told my father sexually abused my brother, my niece, probably myself and possibly could have done the same to my children. I'm still with my husband although not really happy. I'm sorry for offloading so much, it's the first time I have but I just don't know where to start to try and change my life, I want to stop but as I'm sure most of you will understand when I say " HOW"?

2 Replies

  • I know your struggles - I've been in that place. I would suggest you go to your GP - I found that it was only by getting specialist help and counselling that I could move forwards - there's so many issues linked to the bulimia that you might need to look at and its only by counselling I found I was able to begin to sort my thinking out. You could also speak to ABC who have a confidential help line and are extremely supportive and offer various resources that might help you.

  • Hi Rose64/52, I am so dreadfully sorry you are suffering the way you are? You are one very brave lady to come on this Site & disclose so much of your "Heart-ace!".

    I too am a long term suffer of Anorexia & battle with it daily?! I have had Anorexia for past 40 years! I too was bullied @ School for being a "Fatty!". It also did"nt help that my mother always referred to me as "A Fat, ugly slag!" from the age of 8 years old, I did"nt obviously know what a slag was? She tormented me with weight issues throughout my life! My only sister was called "The petite, pretty one!", which did"nt help matters!

    I can empathise/sympathise how you must feel?! I would suggest you get some Professional help from Eating Disorder Team? If you look on the right hand side of this page there is a Post from me, in ("Related Posts) it will explain a little of my history. It is the last one with a Red dragon, loppyloo61?

    Although I don"t have Bulimia, I have Anorexia but nevertheless an Eating Disorder! It almost claimed my life in 2012, I was in Intensive Care with Pneumonia, Sepsis/Septicaemia & my vital Organ started to Shut-down!

    I was referred to Specialised High-risk Eating Disorder Team @ Psychiatric Hospital, this saved my life!

    I cannot urge you enough not to go down the road I did & I beg you to seek Professional help NOW??!!

    You ask "HOW" - "Honesty, Open-mindness, Willingness? This will get you through the torment you are currently in, I pray?

    Wishing you all the Luck in the world?

    Sending positive, healing, comforting, soothing vibes

    Take care

    Many blessings

    loppyloo61 X :)

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