Hello everyone, i am 15 years old i am 4 ft 11 and 90 pounds (last time i checked) i have had low self esteem for nearly 1 or 2 years now. i walk into school looking down on the floor as i walk past the corridors as i dont want to make eye contact at students or teachers as i feel that stare at my insecurities. none of my teachers know except for my form tutor and two more (not subject teachers) i feel like one of my teachers know, but im not sure. i never eat in school except for the time when i only had just a tuna sandwich in a day and i came to school feeling like i was going to faint and i felt sick so i had dinner desperatly. if i feel like someone gives me a dirty look it ruins my whole day and i feel like everyone is looking at my flaws, when i go to the toilets i never look at the mirrors as i feel low after looking at me. i also compare myself to other people. e.g comparing skinny people to me and on looks as well. its ramadan in 2 days and its when we dont eat until 9/10pm and im really happy and looking forward to it in a way because im going to feel motivated to not eat, however im not looking at the religous aspect of the tradition wich worries me i currently attend cahms but my crounceller hasnt seen me for 6/8 weeks as she cancels it all the time (next appoinment in 2 weeks hopefullu) during this period i had purged myself about 10 times altogether after stopping for months. i feel like i have a point to prove and if im skinner maybe i will stop getting looks and feel happier. if i eat a big meal or 2 i feel like i will get even fatter the next day and i wake up to check my wrists if they have gotten any skinner. i have my gcses very soon and i havent even revised as im too caught up in thinking about my weight than my education please help!
Last edited by anne156
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