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I feel ashamed, when people see me eating

Lirali profile image
8 Replies

Hello! I used to have an ED in my adolescence, but now I mostly healthy and don't starve myself or try to lose weight. However I still feel ashamed eating in front of people. I feel like almost everybody count how much I eat and afraid that people can find me gluttonous. I understand that this kind of thoughts are irrational, because I am not overweight or not even close to this(my BMI is about 18-19) and people never make any comments about how much I eat, but I can't nothing to do with myself. I always loose weight, when I don't live alone and share house with someone else. How can I get rid of this kind of fear? Thank you in advance.

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Lirali profile image
Lirali
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8 Replies

Hi! again! Well that's a horrible way to feel ~ most people are NOT judging you ~ they might sense/feel your discomfort and only feel sorry for you 😨 Anyone who is judging you is probably only you 😤 Everyone is there own harshest critic ~ have you thought it might be a "hang over" from your Anorexic Days?? You need to squash that voice before it gets a hold. Time for therapy??? If you do not look after yourself with out a housemate, please try to always have one 🌺

Lirali profile image
Lirali in reply to

Hi and thank's for reply. As I tell you previously, I just listen to my body and don't count calories e.t.c. The thing is I indeed have a really good apetite and eat quite a lot, more than most people I know. I usually have 3 regural size meals and two snaks a day. I really afraid, that people can find me a terrible glutton, if they get know how much I really eat. I understand, that most people just don't care, but I stil feel a bit guilty. Excuse my writting a lot of stupid questions and thank's one more time.

CatLife profile image
CatLife

Hi Lirali,

I'm new to this site but have just seen your post and had to respond. For a few years as a young teenager, probably until my very early 20s (I'm 30 now) I had the exact same issue with food and people seeing me eat. I don't know if it was just teen anxiety or if I was on the verge of an eating disorder that I somehow managed to control myself without getting really ill. All I know is I was petrified of anyone seeing me eat in case they thought I was fat/greedy for eating. The only time I felt comfortable to eat was with my close friends and family, but even then I still felt uncomfortable at times. I didn't starve myself but I would often go for hours and hours without eating to the point where my stomach was in so much pain as I was so hungry...I used to just chew on chewing gum all the time! I would sometimes eat in private, maybe by locking myself in a bathroom or something but this would only be a chocolate biscuit or something. I can't honestly remember how or why this behaviour started but I know I wanted to be skinny (even though I've always been a healthy weight so didn't need to worry) and so I associated people seeing me eat with them thinking I was fat. My family never noticed it as I would eat with them. I eventually managed to get over it and now I can eat whatever I want, wherever I want, but for a while I thought this was going to affect me for life.

Just wanted to share my story with you, as I never really heard of anyone else suffering with this fear before.x

Morgana2 profile image
Morgana2

Lirali

i know your post is 2 years ago.. but i read now. hope you re doing better

anyway...

i understand cause i feel the same way

yesterday at my birthday party we were joined at the table, i was so hungry and eating but, somehow... i felt that my family was watching how much i was eating. i felt so anxious and suddenly that disgusting feeling was almost unreal (in a bad way of course). so after that i had a very bad stomach ache :( but not for the amount of food but for the feelings i got...

im also skinny. but i cant help feel comfortable eating in front of other people (even if its family)

Lirali profile image
Lirali in reply to Morgana2

Morgana2, thank you for sharing your story! I'm really sorry to hear about your struggling. It's been two years since I asked this question and thankfully I am much better now and feel quite Ok eating in front of people. And I really want to support you. I believe in you and that you'll also overcome this problem! I wish you good luck and good health!

Morgana2 profile image
Morgana2 in reply to Lirali

Im soooo glad you are doing better

Hope you tell me how you went through it. it would be helpful yo me :)

My Mail ariurgadatan@gmail.com

God bless you

Morgana2 profile image
Morgana2

Lirali

i know your post is 2 years ago.. but i read now. hope you re doing better

anyway...

i understand cause i feel the same way

yesterday at my birthday party we were joined at the table, i was so hungry and eating but, somehow... i felt that my family was watching how much i was eating. i felt so anxious and suddenly that disgusting feeling was almost unreal (in a bad way of course). so after that i had a very bad stomach ache :( but not for the amount of food but for the feelings i got...

im also skinny. but i cant help feeling uncomfortable eating in front of other people (even if its family) :/

Nick455 profile image
Nick455

I’m 14 I feel the same way at lunch I’m embarrassed to eat

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