It seems like my coworker has an ED

   Hello everyone! I'm new for this site. I work in IT company for 2 years and it seems like one of my coworkers has an ED. She've always been slim, but now she've lost even more weight. I don't know how much she weights now, but she looks very thin, not like emaciated or "anorexic skinny", but I really afraid that things can go worse. She spends few hours a day in gym eating almost nothing.  She doesn't eat after 6 p.m. and has just 1-2 bananas for the whole working day. When we had a party in our company she just refused to eat anything and when someone asked her why didn't she eat, she answered that she afraid to become a " fat whale". It seems, like things gone worse after she got married. She used to eat healthy and work out, but don't starve herself.

 I used to be anorexic in my adolescence and I am really worried about her, because her behavior really reminds me my past. How do you think, what should I do in this situation? I am not even her friend! Should I try talking to her or just let it be as it is? Excuse my mistakes I am not a native English speaker.

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7 Replies

  • As you know if you've suffered - approaching anyone who has a problem is difficult - I know that I was a real prickly hedgehog if anyone tried to talk to me - and if you've not real relationship with her I guess that could be harder - perhaps you could contact ABC or BEAT - they have advice lines and info that could help you - if there is an opportunity to get along side her you might be able to bring up your anorexia without directly suggesting she has a problem.  Sorry not to be of more help - do hope your colleague realises she has a problem and gets help quickly.

  • Thank you for your reply. I completely agree with you and understand that talking to someone with ED is mostly useless, because they have completely different way of thinking. When I was anorexic, I don't pay attention on anyone telling me about my problem. I wasn't really aggressive or something like this, just didn't pay attention. I thought that people feel jealous of me and wanted me to be fat. Even when doctor told me that I need to gain some weight, because I lost my periods, I didn't change my point of view  and continue trying to loose even more weight.

  • Hi! Lirali 😊 Totally agree with crazycrossticher.  If you are intent on saying Anything to her ~ I would approach it like this 😩 "Hi! abcde, noticed you've lost a lot of weight lately are you ok?" She'll respond with her down pat excuse and attitude. Then I would be like "so long as you're not sick, just to humor me will you go to the GP and get a complete physical"  You might have to offer to pay for it She won't open up to you in one conversation ~ you don't have to be "friends" to be compassionate ~ she's another human being who your worried for ~ find your own words and let her know that ☺ Just be prepared to be told to mind your own business ~ oh good luck . 💕

  • Hi! Thank you for yor reply. Honestly, I'm not very good at psychology and afraid that I can be too rude or agressive towards her. I don't want to make her hate me. How do you think, what should I say, when she calls herself fat?

  • Hellllooo 😊 As hard as it will be completely ignore all comments on weight.  She will say she's fat, you say zip, zilch, nothing.  If you have to reply to her you can always just say real quietly "I don't think you are." People with low opinions of themselves really notice tones of voice, not so much what is said 😞 It's hard being the "old soul" on the outside looking in 😯 Keep an eye on her and just be there to catch her when she falls 💕

  • Sorry! I was wrong. She doesn't order food in office cafe, but she cooks by herself, so she is on a diet, but at least doesn't starve herself. Things are not that bad as I've described. However, she has a completely wrong body image, because she thinks, that she is fat, but it is more likely, that she is slightly underweight. My BMI is exactly 18.5 and now she looks thinner than me.

  • Thank god she eats☺☺😆

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