Need help with overcoming eating disorder

Hi i am 15 years old and i am a girl. i weigh 90 pounds (6 and a half stone) and i have been struggling with my weight. i am very depressed and people at school ask me "are you okay?" or "you look like your going to cry." i dont think i smile alot at school unless im with close friends. I never tell my mum if i have purged because she would just say the same old thing, she would say that im beutiful and i shouldnt change the way i look for anyone. but some days she would lash out because she already has enough on her plate with my sister who has anxiety and other difficulties. i dont tell her because i dont want to burden her with my problems. but i tell my counceller that she knows i do it. when she dosent .i lack concentration and this affects my work in school. i sometimes have thrown up once or twice a day for continuous days or weeks. ive stopped but i have urges to do it again, whats worse about throwing up on and on is the taste and smell does not help at all. it makes me shiver and throw up huge amounts in one go. my teeth are in not a bad condition but it may get worse. i sometimes cry on a day feeling low and worrying about the next day. i wonder what have i got to look forward to. whats the point? i attend councelling for a few months now (camhs) and i just burst out crying for no reason because i have been bottling up my feelings up for so long. i dont think my teachers know which is a good thing, and ive only confided in a few students who i can trust. i should be happy and fun at  15 years old but im not. i find it easier in the school days as i can go without food for 8 to 9 hours without breakfast. i havent eaten breakfast tbh scince september mainly because i have no time. any help please?

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2 Replies

  • Hello sadi123 :)  You've just diagnosed yourself.  Re read your post, you have depression, you need to go and see your GP immediately for treatment for this.  You sound like a very sensitive soul, you are considerate to everyone around you, what about giving yourself some consideration? ?  You need an outlet for all your bottled up feelings, maybe consider activities like yoga, meditation, art, dancing, walking....ask your school counsellor if the school puts on any activities after school for free or ask your local church even try volunteering in age care.  The point of all that is to get your mind off yourself for a set amount of time daily.  I'm so happy for you that you are seeking help ♡

  • I'm glad your seeing a counsellor - but I think you need to talk to someone about the depression and getting help with this medically perhaps - I know how you feel not feeling able to talk to you mum as this must be so hard for you.  I think talking to your GP might be sensible - and you need to tell him about the purging - and get checked out health-wise.  I do know how you feel - I had the same issues about your age and tackled them in the same way - by controlling my food and my weight.  I can also tell you that it solved nothing - and made me depressed, unhappy, and ill - just as you describe.  SO please do go to your GP and explain things - you may need more help than the counsellor is perhaps offering.

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