Girlfriend's Bulimia

Hi

I recently posted this on Yahoo answers but was met with answers such as "you are trolling" and "why would you encourage your Girlfriend's Bulimia?". Allow me to start out by saying I am not trolling in any way, and I do not wish anyone to suffer from Bulimia.

I have been with my now fiancé for nearly 3 years, and we plan to get married next year. I have known about her Bulimia for about 2 years now, and although I want her to get better, I understand that this will be a long fight both for her and myself.

Recently it has become routine for her to throw up in the kitchen sink instead of the toilet. Now I am not sure why she chose the sink, but I think it may be because I found out about her bulimia because she forgot to flush the toilet. Now she gets mad if I try to do the dishes because I might find out what she does. The truth is, I've know for a while now, in fact I have to frequently scoop out vomit to prevent clogging. My question is, would it be a bad idea to ask her to not throw up in the kitchen sink? I know this is selfish, but it has become quite stressful for me to tidy up sick from the sink everyday...

I don't want to hurt my girlfriend's feelings, but I feel that I am bottling up everything inside, and I don't want to sound confrontational.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What would be my best method to approach this?

I do plan on asking her to see a doctor soon.

Thanks

5 Replies

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  • We may not be able to control their disorder but since we have to share the house with them, there should be some consideration for others.  In my case,

    it's my daughter who vomits daily in a bucket which she carries around with her

    and which I have to see and hear.  I then have to clean the bucket for her and it

    makes me feel sick.  I feel you have every right to say something about vomiting

    in the kitchen sink.  If anything besides gross, it is unsanitary.  I wish you well.

    You are in for a long struggle........

  • Thank you for the reply.

    Yes, perhaps what bothers me the most is that it is unsanitary to have to prepare food near that region...

    I think I will talk to her about alternatives. Obviously I would like her to be well and not do it at all, but realistically that won't happen overnight.

    I can tell it takes a lot of patience and love for your daughter to do what you do and I admire you for that.

    I wish you both the best!

  • Thank you so much.  How kind of you to say that.

    I'm so lost at the moment.    I wish you well.

  • Would suggest that you do try and encourage her to get some help.  BEAT and ABC have confidential help lines - both for sufferers and carers - you might find it beneficial to talk about how you feel.  Also, getting married means a relationship based on honesty - bulimia clearly has a really strong hold on your fiancé - and it is a very powerful illness that takes over someone - until she expresses a desire to get help it will be very hard to move forward - but I think you do need to talk about how you feel - not just about being sick in the sink - but the whole problem.  Hope you get some help and that your marriage works well.

  • Thanks for the kind words. Those websites seem helpful for sure. Unfortunately I don't reside in UK so I may need to seek out a group in my region who can provide support for her and hopefully myself as well like BEAT and ABC do.

    It is actually helping me a lot just talking to people on this forum as I have no one I can turn to for this. I obviously can't talk to my parents about this, and all of my friends are friends with her as well. The only people who know of her condition is her sister and myself.

    I will start researching support groups and I will have to find the right time to approach my girlfriend to seek help.

    Thanks again for the advice!

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