Another long day

Morning folks

Another long day struggling and battling with the kitchen, does nt matter what I eat I always feel guilty and it get to much that I end up being sick.

That empty feeling is the only feeling that makes me feel good, anyone else get this?

B.E.D is another illness I suffer from I find this worse than being sick, I have no control in what goes into my mouth but again the guilt kicks in and another trip to the toilet. This can be anything from 10/20 times a day which you can probably imagine takes up most of my day, then I 'am to tired to do anything else.

I have tried doctors, councillors and tablets all have failed! I have been really over weight to very under weight, and now because I have put a stone on those daunting thoughts and panic attacks are creeping up on me. I know people are only being concerned when they say you look better with weight on but they is a big panic for me.

Thanks for reading and I hope I can maybe for once get better and know there's more people out there with the same battles and we can help each other because just now I feel really alone in my own wee world.

Jenny XXX

3 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi Jenny :) Please don't feel alone, we are all here :) You have come to the right place for comfort. Do you mind saying how old you are and how long this binging and purging has gone on for??

  • HI there joolzzz

    Thank you for your reply.

    I am 30 years old and have had this illness for over 15years now :-( has gotten a lot worse the past 5 years.

    Have you got the same problem? hope you don't mind me asking.

    Jenny xxx

  • Hope today is a better day for you Jenny :)

    Jenny, yes I've been in your shoes :( It was a long time ago though. I had a binge/purge problem in high school, that went for many years. I would have been 19/20 when I went ENOUGH. I absolutely would not recommend to you to recover how I did!

    I went complete "cold turkey" so of course I restricted food and over exercised to compensate, hmm. So here we are, all these years later...I'm 46 now.

    Anyway, lets talk about you ;) You won't recover overnight BUT it does happen :) Don't beat yourself up with feeling guilty about the past, whats done is done, leave it there. "the door is broken" so to speak, truly you need to want to fix the door before any repairs will happen. You really sound like your ready :) :) :)

    Start a diary and keep it really simple for now (you can add more later) You, Jenny need to see for yourself whaere you are really at. Record date/time of binge and subsequent purge. Next your going to aim to reduce how often you do this to yourself. Lets go with your lowest number of 10 times a day, you need to aim for 9, then, bring it down again, you get my drift, I know you do ;) You will need support, the medical professionals are much more educated on this now. Take your diary to your local GP for a referral to a counsellor/therapist who specializes in helping people recover from eating disorders. You can do this!!!

    Do you know what's causing this?? Have you got someone that you trust to lean on??

    Jenny you are worth all this work ~ you are :)

    xo Julie.

You may also like...