Anorexia Bulimia Care
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Losing weight badly

Hi, I'm at 19 year old male college student. For most of my life I was slightly overweight. By slightly, I mean by like 3-4 pounds for my height at the time. My family isn't very healthy eaters. Although, my uncle was an athlete until after college, then he got lazy and gain some weight. My mom is very unhealthy. Me, my uncle, and grandmother believe she has an addiction to fast food. She eats out very day and claims it's easy for her to track her calories. She has lost weight just from counting calories over the last two years but can't really accept that fast food helped someone lose weight. Strictly because fast food kills more people than they save. So I finished my Freshman year at college and the professors were right about the freshman 15. I did gain it, I was 170 before school and after I was 186. It's my fault, I didn't eat well because I didn't want to wait in line for 15 minutes for a sandwich. I'd just eat burgers, fries, and drink water. I also didn't use the rec center, it smelled and was crowded by usual goers. I joined a fraternity and notice that I was the only over weight guy. I notice how Differently A guy with My body Type Was treated Differently a guy With a Much thinner and more fit body type when It came To girls. Now I'm not trying to call girls shallow because a lot of them are not, but I've met some who'd pick the guy with a six pack over someone like me. I felt like crap, I wasn't good enough for anyone. So when school ended in may, I decided to lose weight as much as the 150s. I done really well so far, lost 15 pounds and weigh 171. But it's also been a struggle for me. I feel that my mom may be trying to ruin my work by wanting me to eat out with her. She hasn't tried going to the gym and we've had a membership for several years. She's self conscious about her weight and if she doesn't see results, she'll believe that she failed and will quit like before. I know my mom too well for that part. Anyway, I wanted to lose weight up till 158, a good weight for my height. But I've realized that I was going through this process for the wrong reasons. I shouldn't have to lose weight to impress a girl, it's not positive and can lead to your downfall. It's very sad that physical appearance measures if you'll like someone or not. Personally, I'm not a fan of over weight people. I sound like a jerk saying that but it's for good reason. We tell society that we should accept everyone for who they are as a human being, I agree with that. But I can't accept people who've neglect their own body. Not only are you destroying your body with the junk food and fast food, you're setting up the same lifestyle for your children. Do you want your kids being made fun for being fat? Or worse, do you want to see your child develop some kind of disease from the unhealthy lifestyle at an early age? We don't address the dangers of unhealthy eating because we mask it with acceptence. Some people, including me, need to hear the truth. It's not about looking more attractive, it's about taking care of the one body god gave you, the only body you will ever have. So I changed my attitude and decided to lose weight just for a better lifestyle. I want to be a role model for my future kids so that they'll live healthy too. I exercise twice a day five days a week. But the diet part is my biggest challenge. I just have this ideal that anything I eat will make me gain weight. I hate this feeling because it forces me to not want to eat food and that's not healthy. Your body needs food to harvest energy and nutrition. I can't help that i feel this way now, I over ate most of my life. I don't want to say that I have a disorder but some days I feel like I do. If the scale doesn't work like i'd want to, then I'll feel like I've failed. I obsess over the scale every day and that's not healthy or completely accurate. I do eat healthy now, but I feel like crap whenever I'm full, like I've gain a lot of weight. All this started two weeks ago when I struggled to go from 172 to 170. I wanted to be 158 by August but I don't see that happening. I'm doing this all by myself with very little knowledge about obtaining a healthy body. The Internet has so many do's and dont's that it's hard to tell what's right. I can't rant to my friends because they wouldn't understand what I'm going through.

2 Replies

Hi nanderson2575 :) Wow you sound really angry, may I suggest meditation. Don't spend another second trying to change others. People do not change, although they can subdue/suppress undesirable personality characteristics. Good for you deciding to teach your future children to be "healthy". Keep going with your new routine, mate, Congratulations ☆ you are doing brilliant! What works for some doesn't always work for others, that's why you are confused :( Keep a food and exercise diary for you, about you, so you can see what works, for your body. Men need more protein than women. If you can afford to go to your GP do so and ask for a referral to a dietitian. Keep up your new healthy lifestyle :)


Hi nanderson2575

Like most of us with eating disorders we have a love/hate relationship with food.

It seems like that maybe growing up around your mothers eating habits has massively influenced you and your ideas about good food/bad food and using it to define you. it dangerous to use weight loss and achievement and weight gain as failure. It's great to maintain health and that's what should be praised. For example when you go to the gym, come away thinking how good that was for your heart, lungs muscle etc not what it will have done to the number on the scales. Of course healthy bmi is part of that but obsessing on numbers will consume your life.

I just want you to challenge your ideas and thoughts about food...a therapist once told me something that I've held on to.

'There is no such thing as bad food, it only becomes bad when people abuse it.'

A burger won't kill you. But eating the everyday will affect your health. Same for pizzas, chocolate butter etc.

In life we should aim to achieve balance with all that we do.

Sending you luck and love xx


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