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Anorexia Bulimia Care
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Any advice would be much appreciated...

Recently it has established that I have an eating disorder/foodphobia. Food often causes me pain, especially at the main meal at night, and definately makes me feel sick. I am always cold and haven't had a period in 3 months. I am losing weight at an alarming weight and I am trying everything that I can to make it stop; I have almost finished exams and just want to be able to enjoy my summer.

My Mam gets so worried about me, which is understandable, but when she looks at me I can see how sad she is, as if she is sick with worry. I haven't seen her act like herself since before I became ill.

I am trying everything I can to get better, but I can't stand disappointing her,seeing the worry in her eyes and I just want our relationship to be the same.

Any suggestions of what I can do - especially with my Mam? Any help would be great...

6 Replies
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Hello User2323 :) Are you getting Professional help??? I'm a mum, and if my daughter was going through what you describe, I would be beyond sad too. I would feel more confident in what was happening, if she openly talked to me about it, I really would need to hear what she was doing to fight this...Communicate with her is what I'm trying to say :) Your mum just might be the one person who not only understands you enough so that whatever you communicate to her she will completely "get it". Let her support you, Parents are a lot more capable than children realize :) It's Ok she won't fall apart! Good Luck with your exams :)

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Thank you joulzzz for your lovely reply! Yes we are getting professional help but it is taking much longer than we anticipated so that's possibly one of the reasons why she is so worried. We definitely communicate about the situation and the communication is positive. However yesterday the pain wasn't too bad but she just seemed really down and negative about the whole situation which was horrible because I hate seeing her that way when there's nothing I can do... I can't physically force myself to eat more, for example. I feel like I'm disappointing my family??

However thank you so much for your reply, getting support from someone else in the community really does make a huge difference so thank you :))

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That is just brilliant news - everything that you said :) :) I am sorry but I really need you to hear what I'm going to say - it only gets worse. The time to turn it around is now. I understand that you just can't eat more, so become a health nut. Make every single thing you put in your mouth about nutrition. Everyone has bad days and maybe your mum is having one...When a person starves theirself the brain absolutely cannot think straight, that will effect your results. Yes it is going to take time, the only way to speed things up is to take control and say enough. I wish you soo much wisdom, ask away if we can help xo Julie

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You and your mum will both need help. It is up to both individualy to seek and accept that but it could help you both.

I went on accepting my mum wasn't interested in help for me or herself/ the family. Sometimes you have to go it alone and hope God sends you someone else to grow and change with instead. She seems to be showing willing...maybe in time you will heal together. Good luck

Lala

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Oh no, it is the comete opposite, my mum is more than interested in helping me, so much so that I think she definitely worried herself too much. We have all talked as a family multiple times and have all established that until we source the cause of the physical pain, and address the food phobia, no change will happen overnight. We are definitely in a great place but it is hard to eat even 800 cals a day. Am making progress though.

Thanks for you help :))

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That all sounds promising. Finding that source of the problem will take some doing believe me but I hope that comes sooner than later. You will need yo reverse ed effects as your part. Go slowly and increase gradually. Best wishes

Lala

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