I know I need help...I just don't know where to start

[username1003]

I only eat 900 calories a day or less. I often almost black out. My issue causes disputes between everyone i know and I. My boyfriend yells at me everyday at lunch always drawing attention..."YOU NEED TO EAT, THIS IS A PROBLEM!" My best friend has been trying to feed me for a year now. I feel like no one understands. I want to eat for them<but i just cant. I'm never hungry! its not like anorexia where you convince your self not to eat. I can't. I'm never hungry! the thought of food makes me want to puke. i feel like when i eat I'm wasting time. If i could i would never eat but everyone i know tells me i need to.I just cant get it down<and i don't know where to start.help...please...I go days with out eating,but i feel fine.I only eat when the fatigue starts...whats wrong with me!

p.s. my bmi is 26.4 and i'm at a healthy weight and its not going down,but i don't want it to.

[Hidden]

Hi there Please can I suggest that you go to your family Dr., and tell him that you have next to zero appetite and this is causing not only health problems (fatigue/almost fainting) and is also affecting important relationships. Possibly see if your boyfriend or best friend can go with you, they can also answer any Dr questions too. Also they can see that you are taking their concerns over how you eat, seriously. You acknowledging your loss of appetite and turning to the medical profession for help should calm everyone down. Including you!

[Hidden]

I understand. You were like me many years ago. Part of the reason you feel nauseous trying to eat because after you restrict calories so long- it is hard to get food into your stomach. Plus once it is in your stomach it doesn't digest the easiest after not eating much for so long. Small meals often is the answer to build up,your body.

I am from a time before microwaves or cellphone or the Internet were even invented! My parents considered my eating disorder an embarrassment and were very ashamed of me. My worse weight was 78 pounds at 5'5". I have no real idea why I am not dead. On my own when I tried to eat at that weight my body would dry heave and try to reject the food.

Here is some scary truths. I don't know where you are on your weight of BMI. However me at my worse made my hair fall out, my periods stop and a light whispy fuzz covered my chest, torso and back. It is the same kind of fuzz newborn babies have. And severely deprived calorie intake people can grow it too. If you are not at this stage yet- please know you easily could be. Your calorie restrictions can become even more consuming where you honestly will pick that over your boyfriend - over your family- and it will be come the most important thing to you. I only say this because I once shared your story.

I know it hurts that your boyfriend and family don't understand you. But please try to,understand them a little bit. They love you and see you are doing something dangerous by restricting your calories. I had a kidney stone operation that ended me up in Intensive Care. Because I was so underweight my blood pressure dropped to critical levels. I could of died. If you have a surprise medical emergency and you continue to restrict you calories - you might have the same risks as me. Also your long term future of fertility is being jeopardized from restricting your calories now. I'm 41 now with no children. Well I miscarried when I was 19. The baby was not growing at a proper rate. I tried to eat the right calories but struggled so hard with it. And miscarried at 3 months.

Is all of that worth restricting my calories? I used to fast two days with no food and the eat on the third day. My body just was not hungry anymore and it was not a difficult thing to do. In fact it became addictive. The scale number, the amount of calories I consumed.... It all was addictive.

The truth is eating disorders generally are a whole lot more than just food. It is a person's way of coping with stress. It is a way a person feels control in their own life. It is about a whole lot,of things!

You need to talk to a doctor. Sincerely you do. Because your whole future depends on it. You could have a heart attack just from the way you body is being stressed by the restricted calories. Do you know what happens if you don't give your body enough calories to,function? Well your body starts to consume your own organs. I dislike doctors! But if you don't get help you could end up dying way before your time. As things progress you wil choose to avoid weddings or other social functions - becAuse food will be there. You won't want to enjoy family holidays because food will be there. It is like everything you love will progressively become less important than your calorie intake. If you ever want to PM me I will help you anyway I can. I would do this because to help another person be spared the lifetime of eating disorders would be worth it. Please ask for help before your whole life becomes about calorie intake than about your happiness, family and boyfriend.❤️

[crazycrossstitcher]

Your body is clearly telling you that things are not OK - you need to get to your GP now and take someone with you - anorexia is very clever at head games - it tells you you aren't hungry - and having starved for some time your body begins to react to food and not to absorb it as it should - the health risks are enormous on such a low intake - whatever the cause - you must seek medical help NOW - from experience leaving things leads to long term health issues.

[Nocastle2go]

First of all, look for professional help, nutritionist, endocrinologist and a psychology. I've been here before, anorexia plays tricks in your mind letting you think you don't need to eat until you black out, but the truth is you DO need to EAT. Try with little portions every couple of hours, make sure you drink enough water, and most of all, look for what is that thing that is making you feel anxious about food or any other thing in life right now.

Right now I'm on healthy weight too, I've been from BMI 16 kg/m2 to 24 kg/m2, both extrems, right now I'm at 19 kg/m2 and yeah people is always watching and forcing me to eat because I generally eat about 78-89 % of my kcals requirement. (I study Nutrition and Dietry, yes ironic much, that's why I know a couple of thing more, although generally people with ED's does).

Anxiety is a bitch you we'll have to control forever I guess, I'm fighting against her right now, but as a friend told me once, baby steps, honey!