anorexic?: hi! my family seems to think... - Talk ED (eating d...

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anorexic?

healthfreak23 profile image
13 Replies

hi! my family seems to think I am anorexic and I guess I could be. The only thing is that I am not skinny. I'm seriously not kidding I'm fat... not like i think I'm fat but I'm really not... no I am fat. I weigh 119.. MAYBE 118 on a really good day and I'm a 5'6 female. I base my whole life on food and body image. i CONSTANTLY feel fat and gross and ugly even though my family and friends tell me otherwise. I feel like they just have to say that because their my friends and family. I eat a couple of strawberries for breakfast, an apple for lunch, and whatever the family meal is for dinner. I try to exclude carbs from my diet but it's kinda hard to do without my family getting suspicious. I am kind of a health freak though. I was always a chubby kid- weighing around 140 at my highest and I am now 12. I lost a lot of weight but I am struggling to get rid of these last 10-20 pounds. it just won't seem to come off no matter how healthy or little I eat or how much I excercise. i am in track Monday-Friday excluding Wednesdays, and dance Monday- Wednesday, and now softball 3-4 times a week. on top of that I was excercising and running almost every day and it was insane. I stopped that for a few weeks and I want to get back into it but I just can't seem to find the time or motivation to do so. I would estimate that I eat around 100 calories or so throughout the day and then maybe like 500-600 calories on average at dinner. I think that's kind of a lot actually. I just want to be skinny. that is all I think about. I will not eat anything after dinner no matter how hungry I am, but I find myself eating a lot at dinner because I don't eat THAT much throughout the day. I think that what I eat is perfectly safe and healthy but people think otherwise. I don't know, do you think I am anorexic? I wear all baggy clothes and clothes that will cover up my legs because I hate my thighs. I feel like they are huge. i am constantly thinking about my weight and just wanting to be skinny. I always look up how to get skinny and diet plans and excercises and weight loss stories online. I try to say I don't like things and that I'm not hungry to avoid eating things. I will not eat anything that is unhealthy unless it's something like pasta and I have to eat it because it's the only thing my family is having for dinner. even so, I will try to health it up as much as I can. Also, I have not been getting my period for about 5 months. all I want to do is feel pretty and skinny and confident no matter what I'm wearing or how much skin is showing. everyone says I'm skinny but believe me I'm really not. just please tell me if you think I am anorexic and what I can do to FINALLY lose weight.

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healthfreak23
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13 Replies

Hello healthfreak21, sorry to hear you feel that way about yourself :( Over exercising and food restriction does result in the loss of your period - suggest you go and get it checked out with your family Dr. Interesting that you don't believe you have a eating disorder. Whether you are anorexic or not you definitely beleive you are ok but at the same time you recognize you are not. :( :( :( Your family normally will only want the best for you and just sound worried for you. Possibly have a look at a post "Struggling with weight gain" the first reply is her dietician approved eating plan, she has to be on that plan because she got soo thin that the medical staff could not operate on her even though it was necessary as her body would not heal itself after the surgery. It is true -my shoulder and arm were injured feb, 2014 and are still not right - still want to be skinny?????? Maybe put some of that energy into researching nutrition :)

It sounds as though you have an issue with body image and an obsession with food, diet and exercise - the calorie intake you quite is extremely low - and the nutritional balance needs looking at - suggest you should see your GP and/or a dietician or nurse who can help you look at your diet and suggest a way forward that is more healthy - a counsellor to address your body image issues would be beneficial.

As the others have suggested it is worth talking with your GP and/or a school/college counsellor (if you have access to one).

Eating in the way you do is creating havoc with your metabolism and means that you are making yourself unhealthy. Some of the unhealthy aspects will be hidden at this stage of your life e.g. poor bone health.

From what you have said, you sound to be a fairly healthy weight now for your height so please try to work on accepting your body as it is. It is not fair on your family and friends when you don't believe they are being honest with you. If they say you look slim, they are right.

It is not worth trying to be an anorexic if that is your thinking. It is a miserable way of life. I wish I stayed the sort of healthy weight you are now.

Being too thin is also deeply unattractive to the opposite sex as I have found out to my cost.

I'm glad you have sought help on this board. Please feel free to get back to us.

healthfreak23 profile image
healthfreak23

thank you for helping me with this! but this did not exactly answer my question- do you think I am overweight-be HONEST, do you think I am anorexic, and how can I she's these last pounds to finally feel good about myself

thegemprincess profile image
thegemprincess in reply to healthfreak23

Losing weight will not make you feel better. You just will want to lose more. Your crisis is NOT WEIGHT. It is a common crisis at your age. I was EXACTLY LIKE YOU. Here is how I got relief. First, help for the food/weight obsession is based on you being in the past overweight. It takes a good psychologist to make this go away. He can get you to the right nutritionist to discuss food issues and/or give you meds to block the obsession. I asked at school for a free psychologist to discuss this. I didn't feel comfortable involving my parents. Quick personal question, did you lose weight to get a guy? This won't help get the guy. There was an ugly duckling in my class that got the guy. He got him through CONFIDENCE and getting help with SELF ESTEEM. Please know that guys look at girls your age as a MATTRESS. I bet after your getting help you will go into nutrition, sports or something related since it seems to be your interest....Please get TALK HELP from real professional. Hope this makes a difference in your life. It did to me.

Your pal. Margo (now a mother)

thegemprincess profile image
thegemprincess in reply to thegemprincess

PS- All of us are not doctors that can realistically tell you if the weight you are at is healthy and if you are anorexic. Let the TALK/HELPER guide you. I have small bones and am 5"6" too. I was anorexic at 119 meaning not getting right nourishment. At 125 (age 12) I was athletic health (PRIME). Everyone is different. Please seek professional TALK/HELPER- i.e. psychologist.

thegemprincess profile image
thegemprincess in reply to thegemprincess

I also started out (unhealthy fat) 150 lbs.

Only a Dr/GP can give you a diagnosis, sorry :( I suppose kind hearted people are just trying to say to you love yourself as you are, if you can't counseling, targeting how you view your body is the way to feeling good about yourself. Hope you do visit your GP.

tigger77 profile image
tigger77

I agree with the other replies that you need to talk to your Dr. Your weight is just bordering on the underweight (check your BMI - find an online calculator) and what you're eating is not enough or the right kind of stuff. Certainly with the amount of exercise you're doing what is going in is more than being exercised off.

I used to be anorexic (still struggling) so it all looks pretty familiar behaviour to me.

Please get medical help before it gets worse and believe me it's really difficult to turnaround once you're on that downward spiral. I was hospitalized and that's not pleasant.

healthfreak23 profile image
healthfreak23

ok thank you so much I realize that this may be a problem and I will look into getting help. Tigger77 you say "certainly with the amount of excercise your doing what is going in is more than being excercised off." does that mean that I am not doing a lot of excercising? should I do more? I am confused.

thegemprincess profile image
thegemprincess in reply to healthfreak23

More exercise will shows as more weight. You will develop more muscle. Muscle weights more than fat.

tigger77 profile image
tigger77 in reply to healthfreak23

Sorry to confuse. What I used to do when I was unwell was make sure that I burned more calories by exercising than the calories that I ate and that way I thought I would lose weight and I did. So for example I had a friend who was a dancer and say she would use up 600 calories dancing but only eat 300 calories. Just sitting down and doing nothing burns calories I think you need about 1000 calories a day (as an adult) just to be alive.

Anyway perhaps if you talk to your Dr you might be referred to a dietician who will be able to tell you what a healthy diet should be and how much you should be eating for your age.

Take care

If we said we thought you had anorexica- how would you feel about it? Would you want to stop the path you are going down now? Anorexic people sometimes see themselves as fat even though they may be dangerously underweight. Anorexic often is based on not just food- but a person trying to cope with a variety of issues. Only your doctor can truly tell you anything. What is your goal? Do you think you'll stop when you loose 5 more pounds? 10 more pounds.

I was 78 pounds and I am 5'5" tall. Does that make you feel disgusted? Or does it sound apealing to you for some an inch shorter than you being 78 pounds. Loosing inches around your waist and watching the numbers on the scale drop are addictive. Please trust me on this. I was 128 pounds and then was pretty proud of myself when I dropped to 98 pounds. Then I stated at 83 pounds for a long time. The finally my worse weight was 78 pounds.

My hair fell out, my period stopped and I grew a fuzzy down fur all over my chest and stomach as a result of starving myself. I had no friends and I didn't care- I much rather would spend time with my eating disorder than people. My family was embarrassed by me and they made arrangments to put me in foster care. They just didn't want anything to do with me at all.

Your brain becomes foggy and your memory is poor. School work is overwhelming because you can't concentrate on anything. You are just starting your life- and can ask for help and live a happy and normal life. I never did. My anorexica contributed to me miscarrying the only child I ever conceived even though I tried to eat right. The damage to my body was already done. Anorexic people often have fertility problems. And dispite runway models telling us different- it is not attractive to men when you are all bones. Guys like to go out for a lunch and have you enjoy something too. If you are eating three leaves of lettuce it will make them uneasy. I remember the first time. A guy ever asked me out I replied 'no thank-you, I don't eat food'. Seriously..

I am 41 now and still battle eating disorders. And I never was able to conceive a baby because of the years of malnutrition to my body. What do I have to show for my lifetime of living with an eating disorder? Nothing good. I had a minor operation and ended up in Intensive Care being told I might die. Because of my low weight my blood pressure dropped to a critical level.

Please think about everything I said here. Is this the life you want for you? I am writing this because I would not want anyone to throw their life away. You have time to get help and turn this all around. Check out YouTube and the tribute videos heart broken family members have made to their loved ones who died of anorexica. You'll see beautiful girls with pretty hair enjoying life and smiling at the camera. And then you will see them gradually turn into gaunt empty expressionless zombies and then you'll see the families write Rest in Peace next to a birthdate and death date with the years inbetween being often close to your age now. Please talk to your doctor or counsellor ar school. You are so much more than a number on a scale. If you loose the weight you want - chances are you then will want to loose more and then more again and then you likely will end up in the hospital with a feeding tube against your will. And even with that anorexics have such serious health problems - that you could still end up having a heart attack or other major organs failing on you.

Please ask someone for help. I wouldn't waste my time writing this very personal and painful post unless I thought this was extremely important to share with you.

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