okay... ive struggled with confidence in my weight and in 2012 i skipped a week of school and refused to eat. my friends got involved and it wasn't too serious and it got better until about september 2013 i moved schools and wanted to lose weight. i was 7.5 stone and i started going to the gym at lunchtimes and then skipping lunch and then skipping breakfast and then only having half of dinner and throwing it up. i became obsessed with walking 2 miles home everyday whether or not it poured with rain and i felt so guilty if i took the bus. my family noticed my weight loss but i still looked the same to me. my periods have been gone since november 2013 and i was like 6.5 stone then. I became terrified of high calorie food and had to count my calories etc and then i wanted to be 77lbs by my 15th bday (feb) and i got there and then got down to 74lbs in may. then my mum got so worried and although i didn't look any different to me i tried my best to eat properly for her but whenever i gained any weight i would just cry cry cry hysterically and over the summer i have gained 6lbs but i hate how i look now and i still think I'm fat and all i see is fat. i panic over calories and try not to count them but its so hard to ignore the numbers and i have to plan my meals and at school i skip lunch again because its just so hard :(. i so badly want to get back down to 74lbs but i know my mum will notice and such and idk if i have a problem because this week i have skipped lunch and then thrown up a few dinners again i want to not hate my reflection and not completely hate myself over a slice of cake for gods sake. i cried today over a piece of banana cake that i just couldn't bring myself to eat and i almost had a panic attack because i didn't know what to have for lunch. idk do i have an ed?
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