Think I have an eating disorder

I feel like it's a mix between anorexia and binge eating

Over summer I went from 9 stone 5lbs to 7 stone 3lbs at my lowest through just having no appetite and exercising lots to lose weight. I'd try and exercise every day, aiming for a 500 calorie burn at least. I loved how I looked and was so proud.

My friends and family were worried about me and encouraged me to put on weight through exercising less and eating more. So I actively tried but I felt so stressed out from people it turned to over-eating. In 4 weeks I've put on 10lbs so am now about 8 stone. Over the past week I've eaten really well and got back to the gym so was feeling better but my housemates moved back to uni last night and all got a takeaway which I refused and they started to stress me out by saying I should eat more and they weren't going to allow me to lose weight. So today I binged on a whole box of cereal (like 750g) and currently feel huge and sick and have even tried to make myself throw up. I regret it so much but I feel so fat and am getting so fat, I hate how I look!

Every time I look into the mirror I just want to cry. I have 5 freshers events next week and the alcohol calories are really stressing me out and I'll look so fat in everything. I want to go back to under 7 stone 7lbs so badly. But I do feel like this obsession with my weight is taking over my life, I can't concentrate on anything else, like my dissertation (sure I'm going to end up failing it) and I know people are worried about me and I'm missing out on so much normal stuff a 20 year old should take part in. But I just don't think people realise how bad things are for me.

I just don't know what to do :(

3 Replies

  • Hi. Without knowing more about your weight and height it is difficult to be sure about the diagnosis. However it is possible to have anorexia and binge and purge. But the difference between the diagnoses is not that important to get obsessed with - what is important is that food and weight has become an obsession for you that is getting in the way of normal life.

    I would suggest going to your GP for routine health checks and investing student counselling at your university. They will both certainly be able to help you understand what is going on for you.

    Good luck!

  • I had exactly the same problem as you have at university - get help now - see a student counsellor - try to get specialist support. From experience - the longer you leave things the harder recovery can be - don't struggle alone - please do get help. Good luck.

  • I've made an appointment to see my GP Thursday.

    At my lowest in July I was 7 stone 3lbs and I'm currently 7 stone 13lbs dye to binging. I'm 5 foot 2 inches. My weight is constantly going up and down at the moment.

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