Do I actually have a disorder?

Since may last year I have been more concious of my weight than I ever had been. I don't know why, or how it started, but I couldn't keep a meal down, my brain told me to throw it up, and so I did, I stopped eating less and less, and started starving myself to see the number on the scales drop. I said I'd do it to my desired weight which at the time was 8 stone 2, and now I'm 7 stone 7, I couldn't stop after getting to 8 stone 2. I count my calories everyday and constantly weigh myself, I still throw up every now and then, but I don't look skinny at all. I'm small (5'1) so its even harder to have a small figure, but when my boyfriend has mentioned it to me, I just think, I'm not ill enough to have a disorder, I'm not thin enough to, surely? I need some advice on whether or not I do or don't. X

11 Replies

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  • Hi, It does sound as if you do have an Eating Disorder, Bulimia or heading towards Anorexia! I urge you to seek help as soon as you possibly can!

    These illnesses are both fatal ones, I almost lost my life to Anorexia in 2012 on a Life-Support Machine in Intensive Care, my organs shut down, pneumonia, septicaemia, all sorts of complications!

    @ least you are not in Denial & aware you have a problem, please talk to someone who can help you NOW! Before the illness takes over you & will control you as opposed to you controlling it!

    I"ve had Anorexia for many years & you just don"t think it will happen to you but it did to me & has had a devastating effect on my organs, family life ect.

    Please don"t go down any further, whilst you know you have a problem strike whilst the Iron is Hot! I would hate for you or anyone else with Eating Disorder have to go through what I & my lovely family did!

    They were told that I was"nt be expected to make it!

    I CANNOT stress how dangerous ED"s are or urge to enough to get the right help before its too late. Sorry to be so blunt but these Illnesses are insidious, cruel ones & can kill us!

    Wishing you all the very best.

    In my thoughts & prayers

    Take care

    Betty baby X

  • Thank you ever so much, I realise I need to get the problem sorted x

  • You are most welcome. I am so pleased to hear you are going to get this sorted.

    Please don"t put it off, do it as soon as you possibly can, its an horrendous, cruel illness but Recovery is achievable the sooner you start!

    Treatment is not like the old days when we were "Force-fed" via tubes ect it is more Physiological, getting to the "Root" of why you have Eating Disorder & pulling @ that root until it comes out! If you don"t get the root out analogy is Its a bit like treating weeds in garden if we don"t pull roots out weeds return!

    This applies to Eating Disorder too if untreated or you don"t get to the "Root Problem" of what has caused it, it will be with you forever! Just be totally honest with them & have an open-mind (whilst you still have one!!).

    Please trust me on this one I"ve had Anorexia for over 40 years! Whatever weight you go down to will never be enough & you will always strive too loose more & will have a distorted image of yourself, ie you think you look fat. I did & was under 5st with a BMI of less than 12! Anorexia has ruined my life!!

    I wish you all the Luck in the world! Pleas don"t procrastinate DO IT NOW!!

    Sending positive, courageous vibes your way.

    Lynn XX

  • Gosh thats such a long time to have the disorder! Are you fully recovered now? I find the whole process of recovery daunting! But i know it has to happen xx

  • Hi, Yes it is a very long time to be suffering with Anorexia! That is why I am advising/Urging you to seek help now, so you can start you Road to Recovery whilst you are young enough & don"t have to go down as low as someone like me!

    No I am still in Treatment in a Specialised High-Risk Eating Disorder, Psychiatric Hospital!

    Please trust me you DO NOT want to end up where I am now!

    Please, please seek help now, whilst your body is healthy enough to Recover!

    I sincerely hope that you do? You cannot mess around with Anorexia it will KILL you in the end!

    Hugs Lynn XX

  • Wow.. Thats a real sense of reality, I really can't thank you enough for all your advice and support. It is my priority now, I am so thankful to you, and I hope your recovery continues on the right path xx

  • Hi You honestly don"t need to thank me, I am just so pleased that you have realised just how Dangerous Eating Disorders are, especially after hearing someone who has "Walked More than a Mile in Shoes of an Anorexic!").

    I would not wish this existence upon anyone!

    Also glad you have it as a priority & are going to act upon it Now, as this illness will not go away on its own. It is a progressive one that can only get worse if not treated! Good Luck to you & thank you for your kind wishes upon my Recovery, very thoughtful of you!

    Sending Positive, healing vibes your way.

    Hugs XXX :)

  • Hello

    You don't have to be skinny, under weight or emaciated to be anorexic. That is a misconception. It is very wrong and in fact I suspect you possibly are anorexic but you are avoiding seeking help because you think you're not thin enough. Trust me your head will never think you are thin enough so seek help now. I had no idea how or why I was the way I was it went on so long but when the scales told me I was 5 1/2stone and error 0% fat I still thought I was fat. You've a better chance of finding out the reasons why you're behaving this way now than if you get thinner and thinner and thinner.

    I was given a diagnosis in January after eating a food plan for 5months...more food, and regularly eaten food than I had ever done before my whole life and had gained 6-7lbs and to look at me most people would say I wasn't anorexic. The world and media need to change this perception it is dangerous to let anorexics think they are not thin enough for help...this is a misconception. Seek help and find out. it is highly complex from what I can see. You can have an ed but not be anorexic and you can be anorexic when your eating is not so disorderly. Getting a diagnosis mighy take a while. Please bear this in mind.

    Good luck

    n

  • Thank you so much, it means a lot that I can hear from people who have experienced it themselves x

  • Get hope now - I started just as you did - a small cut down - then gradually as the weight went down I couldn't stop - it was never quite enough - and before I knew it I was 5 half stone and in denial - so don't leave getting help - you've taken the big step of admitting the problem - so get help/support from specialists in EDs - good luck

  • Thank you for the help x

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