Hi claejj, i'm a 15 year old anorexia sufferer and I've been into treatment quite a few times. Treatment usually lasts 4 months, but in some cases it can take longer. It may be that your daughter has a fear of getting that virus back and blames it on food, therefore doesn't want to eat it back. She may have EDNOS, which means she has symptoms of an ED but she doesn't have one of the main three (anorexia, bulimia & binge eating) Possibly suggest this to your daughter, about the illness, and see what she says? Has she told you why she's avoiding food?

Hi Clare , my 14 year old daughter has anorexia Nervosa . She is currently being treated by CAMHS . Unfortunately we too feel we are getting no where . You may have to do much of the work yourself .

I would address her physical condition first . You say she looks pale and gaunt . I would take her to your GP first and have bloods done she could be anaemic . This is such a complex disease or disorder . I thought as a nurse I would be prepared but frankly I'm not . Ask your daughters practitioners as many questions as possible and demand answers. Does she have a meal plan ? Medication for her depression maybe needed . Have you joined a support group ? They are usually helpful and help with the sense of isolation you may be feeling Anorexia is very isolating especially for your daughter , keeping friends is very difficult as most young people don't have the capacity 'to get it '. You could contact the school and speak to the pastoral care team about the possibility of home tuition . CAMHS will help you with this , you will need a letter from the consultant Psychiatrist. If you are worried about her physical condition . physical exercise will be impossible for your daughter as she is probably severely physically depleted if she is restricting her food intake . I have to stand over my daughter to make her eat and give her permission so she doesn't have to take the responsibility herself . We have and continue to have many arguments over her food intake . We have the added problem of her vegetarianism which can be difficult to manage on top of the Anorexia . Take care of yourself Clare , any mental health is very hard on everybody involved and mental health always affects not only those directly involved but the entire extended family Ripples on the pond comes to mind here. Have you spoken to your GP about you ? The problem with CAMHS is they have very little in place for the carers of young people with ED's. Your GP should be able to help you ,there should be all kinds of help available through your GP practice . You can claim for various benefits , it's not just about the money but an official recognition of your situation which can help with 'speeding things up ' .

I hope this has helped a little , you are not alone , even though it may feel that way . Much love Clare. Kitty XX

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Clare sorry I didn't answer your question . My daughter has in effect been suffering from an eating disorder for 2 years . Physically she is not in danger anymore but is now severely restricting again . We were told 1 year to reach the point of physical recovery . The problem being that Anorexia affects growth in young people and there is an optimum time for physical recovery to stop this process .

We have been told my daughters anorexia may be something that will need to be addressed to a greater or lesser degree through out her life . The point is all Anorexics are different , I honestly don't think there is an answer for this . A good book for you : Skills based Learning for Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder . The New Maudsley Method . ISBN 978-0-415-43158-3. You may be able to borrow this from your CAMHS team or local library . It sounds technical but gives great tips on how to deal with and communicate effectively with your daughter without using triggering words ,in fact the whole Anorexia spectrum is in here with real practical suggestions and help . hope this helps Kitty XX

You have my sympathies and hopes that your daughter can start to recover. I managed to beat my anorexia and I now have my own counselling practice. I try and help other eating disorders sufferers to beat their condition.

Sadly, there isn't an easy solution to beating an eating disorder. But it can be beaten. Anorexia is a mental illness that causes physical side effects(weight loss etc) Sadly the NHS/camhs see weight gain as a sign of recovery. This couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, weight gain is essential if one is to fully function, but the key to recovery is unlocking the psychological side of the illness. It is imperative to understand the anorexic "voice" There is always a trigger for the disorder and there are factors that maintain the ED.

Therefore we have to find out the true nature of the ED. We need to know what caused it and what maintains it?

I am sorry to say that here in the UK, conventional psychiatry is not able to effectively understand and treat an ED.

I have patients who are with camhs and their treatment and understanding, as well as their interpersonal skills, leave a lot to be desired. They will treat anorexia primarily with food. They will contend that when someone is severely malnourished and a very low weight that they are not receptive to psychological interventions. So they don't even bother to try. I have worked successfully with patients with a BMI as low as 11.5 and believe me they were totally receptive to psychological interventions.

Forcing people to eat does not get them better, it actually makes their condition worse. Yes people have to be fed at times to save their lives. But patients need talking treatments along this. I have patients who were force fed in hospital and were left totally alone all day in their beds without any attempt at providing talking treatments. I know from experience how terrifying and isolating this makes us feel.

In an eating disorder unit, most patients eat for one reason only. They eat to get out. I did this myself. I was in a unit twice and every readmission they had, they person had started starving again immediately on discharge. What does this tell you.

I breaks my heart to see people treated in the way they are in this country by both the NHS and private sector.

I do know that unless we understand the nature of the illness, the precipitating factors, the voice, and what maintains it is unlikely that sufferers will get better.

I travel many miles to see my clients and they also do the same when they come and see me. Such is the paucity of specialist treatment in this country. I am not a magician and an eating disorder is the hardest and most resilient mental illness to treat. I know what its like to have that voice in your head 24/7. This is what makes it so hard to treat. The better someone gets then the harder the voice tries to survive. It does often terrorize people into giving up. It is that bad. Unless you have had this in your head then its impossible to understand its impact. I do understand and I do want to help.

I am not touting for business. I have a genuine desire to help sufferers and their families. An ED draws everyone into the illness. It is not only the patient who suffers but everyone around them.

Please get in touch and let us have a chat.

Please excuse any of my typing errors. I am not one of the worlds greatest typists.

Take and good luck

I hope this helps you I neither fitted typical anorexia mine started when I had a operation that went wrong I started from then they kept telling me the pain was in head that cause me not to eat I lost 3stone in 10 weeks it took 2 years for them to relize it was their mistake they forgot to sew the wound up properly it's taking me 3 years to get eating under controll I used to hide my food and just drink diet coke alweek I was so deppressed and I seeked counselling to help me I started running 8miles a day to help me mentally but every persons story is different I hope this helps your daughter

Hi, if ur daughter doesnt eat or unable to. Try giving her ensure milk. And soup . She feel depressed due to her low weight and not enuff energy .

Hi clarejj,

We're sorry to read of your concerns about your daughter.

We often recommend to parents two books which you might find useful at this stage. They're available from our website ‘shop’, anorexiabulimiacare.org.uk Shop on our Home page, or from Amazon. The first is The Parent’s Guide to Eating Disorders, which you might find helpful as it is a practical book with answers to frequently asked questions, and will hopefully guide you as to how best to approach your daughter with your concerns. The second is a little pocket book of ours called ‘First Steps out of an Eating Disorder’ by Kate Middleton and Jane Smith. This will take you gently through the reasons for the eating problem and give you some suggestions to help and support your daughter in overcoming the disordered eating and achieving recovery.

Hi, I developed anorexia at 14,I’m now 22 and have been in treatment and relapsed multiple times as well as attempted recovery on my own. The thing is you can force someone to go into treatment and force them to gain weigh, but until they accept the eating disorder and want to get better they won’t truly recover. It really depends on the individual. Treating the physical symptoms may only take a month or two, but the mental side can take years depending on the individual. Even after 9 months of inpatient treatment I went back to my eating disorder behaviors when I left because I didn’t think I ha a problem and I wasn’t ready to get better. It wasn’t until I was 19 that I accepted my illness and I am still working to recover.

Personally I don’t think that a desire to loose weight or look a certain way is necessary for anorexia. There is a common thread throughout history with anorexia being a search for purity and spiritual enlightenment. For me it was largely related to an obsession with health due to fear of my fathers chronic illness.

Anorexia has a biological component and it’s likely that if the anorexia gene so to speak has been turned on it’s something she will have to be mindful of for her whole life.