Since starting university and living by myself I have struggled to manage my diet. At first not being about to stomach any food for days without gagging. I at first blamed this on homesickness and that it will pass. I never fully settled down to a normal 3 meal day. I would often miss one, especially at weekends when alone and none was around to know I would miss more.
I have been very open about this to my best friend (Estelle) and have told her when I have had dips in my eating. After returning to uni and reverting to my bad routine of missing meals I told Estelle. We have dealt with our close friends worsening condition and not yet admitting she has anorexia after suffering over 7 years and only being 18. We have all researched and learnt about the ways to help. I never understood how she could do what she does until now.
I get used to the feeling of hunger and even challenge myself to last as long as possible without eating. I wanted to be more healthy when I started uni but this isn't helping the situation at all.
Before uni and when I'm at home I will happily eat above average size portions and won't worry about what I eat. I loved my body even though Im not skinny I was comfortable and happy with myself. But in the past week or so when people mentions dieting and losing weight I now feel part of me saying 'you have already lost 1 stone in 12 weeks without trying, you can lose so much by doing the same again'.
I am struggling more now with depression and the thought that I can't be as in control with myself as I thought I was. I haven't been like this long but want advice now since I know it is something that needs sorting as quickly as possible.