Greetings all and happy holidays. Had something strange happen which in turn brought to light some self-defeating behavior between caregiver and patient. Last night I was hit with something bad I think; lost alot of body control, fog was thicker than ever, nothing made sense and my whole body was exhibiting the resting limb apraxia. It was so bad I could not even speak coherently...my wife knew something was wrong and therein lies the problem. Trying to be strong for me, alot of what she fears and dark thoughts are pushed from her mind, always trying to be a beacon for me. I did the same for her when she was first disabled back in 97 or so and I was working 60 a week...it feels like the natural thing to do, almost an innocent white lie.
However since getting this I have learned that as time goes on, the world and reality I inhabit is close but not the same as the one everyone else has. Thus when something strange is happening, I hear an odd noise or even voices from the other room and so on, I will watch the dogs to see if they have a reaction;. If so, I take action on the noise; if not, I just chalk it up to things I should not pay attention to.
But the other night when things were bad, my caregiver was trying to keep a stiff upper lip but when I was watching her reaction to what was happening, I got this sort of indifference but don't worry about it thing. As it turns out, she was actually quite scared and did not know what to do...but by using her reaction as a measuring stick for a strange happening, I got the sense nothing was wrong and I was making a mountain out of a mole-hill.
So her projecting an overly-calm exterior when things are bad is actually counter-productive.