LOW IN CONFIDENCE

[candyx]

I am very low in confidence going out on my own etc i have been very scared by all these attacks having another on the way to work today. I know the worry makes it worse but I do not know how to control this I am feeling very low and feel very alone. I have been hospitilised twice in the last month which does not help! It does help to come onto the forum and hear other people's storys. Any Ideas?

[Hidden]

Dear Candyx

I would recommend asking your GP or hospital specialist team about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It is a treatment that helps AF sufferers adjust to their diagnosis and help them feel better about themselves. The AF Association CBT fact sheet is available for download from this page:

atrialfibrillation.org.uk/p...

CBT has been found to be very effective in treating anxiety. Some AF patients do find that alternative therapies and gentle exercise such as yoga also helps them with relaxation. I'm sure that the other forum members will kindly share their experiences with you.

Please remember that you can also call or email the Patient Services team at any time on 01789 451837 or [e-mail].

Kind regards

Vicki

[Beancounter Volunteer]

Hi CandyX

Understand these feeling completely, I don't have attacks rather I am in permament A Fib, so when I got my diagnosis it was such a shock, I was really down for at least 3 months, and hardly set foot outside the door.

But this will pass I promise you, right now you are getting regular episodes, but I think you said you were under Professor Schilling, so I have no doubt you are getting the very best care and treatment, and that he will do his utmost to sort out your symptoms and find a treatment plan that works for you.

Remember that A Fib is not immediately life threatening, It just makes you feel like it is.

May I share a couple of things which helped me?. I found it really difficult to talk to people even close friends about my diagnosis, and then even when I did I was sure they did not understand. They can't see hear or feel what my heart is doing, and they look at me and think "healthy what's his problem"

I found a little Phone App called "Cardiograph" it's free and what it does is measure your pulse rate through your finger and display it and play a beep as your heart beats. I make no claims for it's accuracy, in fact I doubt it's accurate at all but that's not the point here.

Next time you get an episode, firstly ask your friends to use it, it will show an even heart beart (I hope) and their pulse rate, and then use it yourself (practise first obviously) I literally had people saying "Is that your heart" or "Wow" when they heard and saw it.

Did it make me feel better? not one iota, but the feeling that my friends and family could actually see what I was going through and what I felt made a huge difference to the way the thought about my condition. My grandchildren still want me to do it every time I see them.

It's easy to say stop worrying, but you and I know that will not really help, remember a couple of things

You have great care with a great team who will look after you.

Your friends and family are fully behind you and more understanding of what you are going through

You have this forum, which is full of people who really understand, have been there, come through it, and now want to pass on their experiences to others. There is no such thing as a silly question here, and no such thing as needing too much support, that is what we are here for.

Hope this helps

Ian

[candyx in reply to Beancounter]

Thank you so much for your kind reply it does help to know other people are going through this I just have found it so debilitating and overtaking my life. Regarding monitoring I used to do this several times a day but find it freaks me out more now when the monitor does not record as rate is so high so think best to leave it. I know i should relax more but it is not so easy and I understand about the family it is the same with anything unless you know how it feels how can they understand. I just hate complaining about it. I have every faith in Richard Schilling and please god I get a good outcome. Best Wishes.

[georgejen]

Hi Candyx , I understand how you feel, as I have felt this way on and of for the past nine years. I find that the longer I go with out a racing heart my confidence comes back , don't be afraid to talk to your family and friends about it. Hope this has been of some help to you..

George

[candyx in reply to georgejen]

Thank you for the reply much appreciated.

[duckpopper]

hello i feel the same to i get realy worried , about having an attack , but coming on here helps as i can ask anything iam worried about and always get help, i have tried just to get on with things and tell my self if it happens again ill will be ok and say to myself it is not life threatning i know thats easy for me to say , but it got to a stage where i constantly just thought about it all the time , i still do now but have started to do more things i got an answer on here from some one who told me dont let it controll you , you controll it ,hope this helps

[candyx in reply to duckpopper]

Thanks for the reply I know easier said than done I do try but am having a bad time of it Best Wishes

[TheStand]

Candy,

Wow. there has been a bunch of really good comments here.

First I agree with you. It is very shocking to have your heart trying to jump out of your chest and not knowing what's coming next. And then to get that diagnosis that you have a heart problem really sets you back a few steps. Unfortunately that leads to thinking about it a lot (even when it's not happening) and just waiting for the next attack.

In the above comments there are some really good suggestions, Also the behavioral therapy info that AFA provided could solve the problem. Maybe SRM will jump in and comment because this IS what she is all about. She has posted many techniques that are used to Calm, relax and get some peace with your condition. She posted another on today that might help: afassociation.healthunlocke...

Also, I know this sounds cliché, but it has proven true for so many including myself. Learn, Read, Study and Understand this condition that you have. A lot of the fear is brought on by the unknown. What's going to happen next? Am I going to make it? Why is this happening to me? All of those have answers and again to use an overused phrase, "The truth will set you free".

One reason that so many can be here on this forum and help others is because they have done this and now have a solid understanding of AF. They have replaced their fear with understanding. Don't get me wrong, that fear still "creeps" in with all of us but the understanding of our condition help us to overcome it and can give us a sense of peace, even with AF.

Also Reaching out to others, Not so much for help, but for support can be a great help. That is one thing I have seen that this forum does very well. There are so many here who have been there and understand completely what you are going through. We truly care about what you are going through are will always listen and offer support and a caring shoulder.

Please know that we are with you in your concerns and are here to help as we can.

Tim

[candyx in reply to TheStand]

Thank you very much for your reply. Even though I read the forum I still feel very much alone and depressed although I know there are lots of people suffering the same thing. I just constantly worry. Lets hope things get better seeing the EP man next week to discuss latest ecgs. Best Wishes

[candyx in reply to TheStand]

Thank you very much for your reply. Even though I read the forum I still feel very much alone and depressed although I know there are lots of people suffering the same thing. I just constantly worry. Lets hope things get better seeing the EP man next week to discuss latest ecgs. Best Wishes

[candyx in reply to TheStand]

Thank you very much for your reply. Even though I read the forum I still feel very much alone and depressed although I know there are lots of people suffering the same thing. I just constantly worry. Lets hope things get better seeing the EP man next week to discuss latest ecgs. Best Wishes

[BobD Volunteer]

Hi Candy and welcome to the forum which I hope will give you some re-assurance. I fully understand the fear angle having been there myself long before these kind people were diagnosed probably and there was nothing out there to help so also know how difficult it is for outsiders to understand the condition.

Two things I would suggest. One is to read everything you can about AF so your understanding is well up there.. Two is don't obsess about it. I know how very easy it is to start pulse checking every few minutes or hours and this only increases anxiety levels. I used to joke that I only started feeling better when the batteries on my machine went flat.

Ask anything here and I am sure there will be a friend there to answer.

BobD