Quality of Life: What are your favori... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Quality of Life: What are your favorite "vices".

Gudgelm profile image
89 Replies

I think we all look for some normalcy in our journey. I'm searching for a vice compatible with cancer care....maybe it's the bad boy in me. I'm on a pain patch so alcohol is out. I'd be crazy to smoke (tobacco) given my cardiac profile. Sex is, well complicated--depending on current treatments. Gambling? I think we have enough of that just making decisions about our health. Hard drugs? I don't want to abuse something I'll need later! Right now a nap in the middle of the day is about it (and I beat myself up for that!) Going fishing is great but I'm talking about something I can do during the day--a treat. Yes, I know, there's always food but my system is pretty much that of a toddler after chemo and radiation. I've tried the weed, CBD and all and just haven't developed much of a liking for that stuff. Humor me. What's your vice?

89 Replies
dockam profile image
dockam

Hi, you've ruled out my "vices" of alcohol and food😂I love to see shows eg musical theater or even dramas down in LA :

Cinderella

Hadestown

Moulin Rouge

To Kill a Mockingbird

Hamilton

You may go thru my QoL posts to see what I've been up to 😊

My best to you Brother

Fight, Live, Love, Laugh, and QoL on

Randy

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

like Randy , you’ve ruled out most of my main vices - entertainment ….. but:

There’s e biking. If you can ride a bike , you can ebike …if not then etriking might be next. E biking is a major physical rush that makes you feel 15 years old again. You get outdoors and have an excuse to visit every hike & bike trail in your location, or exotic locations you can drive to. You’ll have to fight to moderate your behavior with one of these.

A jacuzzi. One of the most exotic and sinful pleasures of life is spending hours in a medical grade jacuzzi with “ all the jets “, light show, music etc. Its comfort inducing for us aPCa guys, it’s a social tool for entertaining that significant other or friends too.

How about killer fun toys .. try a DJI drone with FPV goggles. More fun than a sack of snakes , FPV , first person view …is a major rush where you feel and see like you are sitting in the drone cockpit while in flight. and you can er …. ah … poke around “ looking - exploring up to several miles in any direction. The things you can explore are limited only by your imagination. ( some may be illegal if you get caught tho yayahahahaya)

Then how about a set of Quest 2 virtual reality googles. The places you can go in total 3D ,nearly anywhere on earth, the amazing adult games you can play for weeks on end are jaw dropping …. Watching your favorite moves on unimaginable large screen ( way better than Imax ) …. And VR goggles are clinically proven pain relievers, used in medical centers across the country. Once you start using these, you’ll be totally absorbed and addicted for months. Maybe years.

GSDF profile image
GSDF in reply to Kaliber

You're a most amazing fellow. Stay blessed 🙂

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to GSDF

❤️❤️❤️

Gudgelm profile image
Gudgelm in reply to Kaliber

Kaliber: Fantastic suggestions but even better great inspiration! Thanks!

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Gudgelm

❤️❤️❤️

spencoid2 profile image
spencoid2 in reply to Kaliber

definitely some things to consider. i wish i knew how long i need to have money for or should i just charge up my CCs and them "them" figure it out' I have been especially after getting covid while on doxytaxyl fortunately paxlovid works quite well and morphine lessens the pain im my bone lesions that can be very painful when I cough

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to spencoid2

I won’t advocate irresponsible behavior, but I say why leave anything in the table? Brian’s philosophy was that the worst thing that could happen was to have to live off his disability SSI income should he be so fortunate to have longevity. He figured he would consider it a blessing if he outlived his money. That didn’t happen for him. But, for all the rest of you, may you live long enough to go flat broke!😂

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to spencoid2

well …. Oculus quest 2 VR goggles are fairly inexpensive , used, on eBay … the Oculus quest ( original not the two ) are just as good imho and even more affordable .

Boywonder56 profile image
Boywonder56

Those arent vices myfriends....sinless pleasures.....myself laying in back of f150....gazing at at a moonless sky at 8000 ft....ingesting rite dose of shrooms....and a good long version of 1970' dead .....dark star.....and forgetting i have this shite......😎🇺🇦☘️😊

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Boywonder56

ryte on brother … I can dig it yayahahahaya

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Boywonder56

Sounds perfect.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy

My vices are being surrounded by younger females, Pappy Van Winkle Whiskey and driving twice the speed limit. There are some others but they are illegal so we will leave them unsaid.

smurtaw profile image
smurtaw in reply to mrscruffy

Those might be illegal too depending on the age of the younger girls. Twice the speed limit in a 75 zone is definitely criminal.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to smurtaw

Girls 19-52 and I take my chances with law enforcement. What are they going t do, sentence me to life? Hahaha

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to smurtaw

lol

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79

First thing my guy did was buy a motorcycle. He’d had one in his younger days, but gave it up. Rented a trike once he could no longer handle the big bike. Not the same, but still great. He got a rush out of anything that made our problems seem small. The ocean, the mountains, the desert, big skies, open road. We traveled as much as we could as long as we could. There were times he pushed me in a wheelchair through airports; there were time I pushed him. We never stopped. Get outside and stay as active as you can as long as you can. He didn’t even let the wheelchair stop him from visiting the ocean. Find what sets your soul on fire and do as much of that as you can! Good luck to you in your journey. Life is a terminal state of being, and not just for people with a diagnosis.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Zengal79

great advice … good post .

😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️

Gudgelm profile image
Gudgelm in reply to Zengal79

Thank you Zengal79. I'm getting after what sets my "soul on fire"!

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Zengal79

The first thing that I did was to sell two motorcycles a 72 vw thing and a sand rail and two other off road vehicles, and an old bmw 2002 , & an old Chevy truck . I had way too many toys . I was in bad shape to drive them . Just paying and maintaining them became impractical . Plus we needed the money after spending much savings in the first two years fighting the beast!

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Lulu700

Too bad, but no point keeping them if they can’t bring you joy. My guy traded in some toys eventually and bought a Jeep. That kept our adventure spirit going. He was pretty fortunate in the financial department, but he would’ve gladly traded that for some more smooth sailing time. It’s one or the other it seems.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Zengal79

yep! Good evening ! ✌️

Tomatogardener profile image
Tomatogardener

How about massages?

Gudgelm profile image
Gudgelm in reply to Tomatogardener

Thanks for the reminder. I'll book one tomorrow.😀

Muffin2019 profile image
Muffin2019

Dill pickles, golden girls TV show and NCIS series.

3putt profile image
3putt

An hour of Qigong ( free on uTube Jeff Chan) first thing in the morning has been my saving grace when it comes to getting the day started with a smile and an upbeat attitude. Then I fill the remainder of my days with:

Golf twice a week

Pickleball daily weather permitting

eBike around the neighborhood an hour or so each afternoon

A 30 minute brisk walk after dinner

Euchre and Hold’em tournaments

Game nights with family & friends

And of course cigars, bourbon and wine in moderation…

At 68 I’m still a motorcycle enthusiast although the size of my bikes have steadily gotten smaller. From my big old Indian to today’s Kawasaki versys 300 the thrill still remains the same.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from our stage 4 alumni it is to fight through the fatigue and stay active as much as humanly possible. God bless you all!

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to 3putt

I’m looking into Jeff Chan ! Thanks 3putt!

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to 3putt

Euchre! Man, I haven’t played that since my grandparents were around. Fun times. You’ve got it right. Stay as active as possible, even as limitations inevitably come.

Boywonder56 profile image
Boywonder56 in reply to Zengal79

My granma was the queen of euchre.....

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Boywonder56

oh, no way. Mine was!😂

Tony666 profile image
Tony666

for me - golf, old episodes of dr who and mike hammer, and samurai sudokus.

DesertDaisy profile image
DesertDaisy

Dwight has always loved golf, but as the years went by he didn't get to play it as much. He's now retired and is teaching our 8 year old grandson to play golf and they play twice a week. He also loves to build things. He has recently built 2 chicken coops, very fancy ones, for each of our 2 daughters. He built a bench out of saguaro ribs and each of the girls have a wish list of things for him to build. One wants a playhouse and the other a swing set.

He keeps himself busy all the time and his days are very full. He spends a great deal of time with our 6 little grandchildren and even volunteers for childcare for our daughter's bible study group.

I feel like he appreciates everything more since his diagnosis and takes advantage of every minute.

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to DesertDaisy

I relate to that last sentence very much. Why does it take something like this for us to appreciate this gift of life? It did for me as well. Such a shame, but better late than never.

DesertDaisy profile image
DesertDaisy in reply to Zengal79

Most definitely better late than never. It's a gift we have been given. There comes a point in time when we realize our time on earth is short, something we usually don't think about when we are younger or until we are face to face with a serious illness. For us, in our younger years, we were busy trying to keep our heads above water with both of us working and raising our family. There just didn't seem to be time to relax and appreciate what is truly important.

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to DesertDaisy

I’m glad you guys have the time now to enjoy the simple things. Good for you for being so supportive of him!

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to DesertDaisy

I tell my dental pts, when they inquire how I'm doing, I say that I'm Still Upright and Blessed to still be here 8 yrs into this saga. That I woke up and was still here and it wasn't like really flaming hot with all of my old buddies there waiting for me 😀

Live, Love, Laugh, QoL, and Fight On

Randy

ctflatlander profile image
ctflatlander

I'm 79 and may be different than most primarily due to where I live in northern Vt. My favorite activity is riding the gravel roads on my E bike. The biking weather has extended the season through mid November and I was able to do760 miles this past season. I have almost 3500 miles on it since 2019. I go to a physical therapy gym twice a week doing cardio and resistance training. The off days I use a tread mill or a stationary bike in the basement. I love working with wood and have a couple winter projects in the wood shop. All of wood comes from my 34 acres of land and cut on my Woodmizer saw mill. Late February and early March is sugar season for 6 weeks so I pretty much don't do much of anything. My garden of fruits and vegetables keeps me busy in our short growing season. Thankfully my PSA has been hanging around less than 1 and my health focus has been working out since Xgeva was discontinued and I developed osteonecrosis of the jaw. I keep an exercise journal that helps me stay on track. Best to you fighting this disease.

wilcoxsaw profile image
wilcoxsaw

Buy a Ferrari and drive it like you stole it, beats sex any day. 2nd place riding my Harley.

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to wilcoxsaw

I bought my guy a Richard Petty racing experience for his last birthday in Vegas. He had a blast! Money well spent.

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to wilcoxsaw

Not a Ferrari, just a Mustang, but it still was a Blast to drive in Hilo

Road beers
wilcoxsaw profile image
wilcoxsaw in reply to dockam

If you consume enough Road beers one can't tell the difference between a Ferrari or a Mustang!

CountryJoe profile image
CountryJoe

An amazing post and amazing responses. I am so happy to be part of this group 😊😊😊.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700

Try some magic mushrooms or pure dmt!

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Lulu700

This was actually on our bucket list. A shroom desert trip. We crossed a lot off the list, but didn’t make it to this one. It was more on his list than mine but his spirit was just a bit more wild than me.😉

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Zengal79

He sounds like me! ❤️🙏

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Lulu700

On the list for 2022

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach

Great question and post – wish I had written it. When I was given the death sentence, I felt some shock, and then I immediately decided to get on with life with a renewed intensity. There were some constraints (covid, SE’s, normal aging, $, etc., but who’s counting).

I’ve got a lot of fun, virtuous and rewarding activities (daily walks in nature, making love to my wife almost daily, teaching my grandson to drive, playing playdoh with my youngest granddaughter, heart-to-hearts with my close friends and family, epic games of cards against humanity, we still break out the wii for bowling tournaments and golf (no one wants to play me at basketball), service for my social groups, live entertainment, and so on. Some days I can do more, and unfortunately there are days when I can’t do much more than rest up for the next burst. For those days I’m going to check out some of the ideas floated above, especially the Quest goggles (thanks for the idea K).

As for vices, I’ve got pretty much the same ones I had pre diagnosis, just dialed back. I still love food, but my tastes have changed. I can pass on a ribeye for a veggie stirfry, a regular desert for whole wheat banana bread. I’ve cut back on good whiskey except for special occasions, but I do like a glass of red wine in the evening. Damn, maybe I’m getting old and dull, does anyone know what it costs to fly from Portland to Amsterdam?

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Carlosbach

That last sentence! 😂

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

Yikes: google.com/flights?q=pdx+to...

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

K, this is way better: expedia.com/lp/flights/pdx/...

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dockam

Thanks, looks doable. Anyone else want to join me for a trip filled old guys and gals bent on excess? Drugs, erotic shops, live sex theatres, X-rated bars, red light district, and the Van Gogh museum? Sorry, but I'm a hugh Van Guh fan - I mean, the Potato Eaters, Sunflowers and Almond Blossom. I'm just say'n.

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

Hmmm, tempting. Might be too much debauchery for me, Nah JK

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dockam

You can just pretend its flashbacks🤔

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

I may or may not have dropped acid in my teens 😂

No flashbacks or brain damage

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dockam

I'd stick to that version of your story Randy. I've told some similar ones and they held up under questioning and scrutiny. Mum is the word

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

Got it Bruddah youtu.be/5OULlWNCqDQ

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dockam

Secret pleasure in the 80's, but I loved the GoGo's and Wilson Phillips. Bought their cassettes for my daughters and they played them over and over, much to my delight.

Now, I'm kinda limiting myself to being One Toke Over The Line Sweet Jesus - sounds like that could have been written by Willie

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Carlosbach

Our Theme song : Hold on for one more day, things will go your wayyoutu.be/uIbXvaE39wM

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to dockam

youtu.be/t8tdmaEhMHE

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to dockam

👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Carlosbach

great post 😁

Mecrispy77 profile image
Mecrispy77

I am a WW2 nut. Took a Band of Brothers tour in Europe last year. Had lunch at Hitler's Eagles nest. Normandy beaches etc.. That was fun.

Play a lot of 'Enlisted' on Xbox.

Tore down and rebuilt a few cars.

Prior to PC, I golfed 3 times a week, depression took that away.

Ayahuasca retreat is on the list for this summer/fall.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Mecrispy77

🤙🏽

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Mecrispy77

Oh man, that's on my Bucket list also, the Band of Brothers Tour.

"Hang Tough" - Dick Winters vimeo.com/380932535

Mecrispy77 profile image
Mecrispy77 in reply to dockam

It was amazing, followed in the footsteps of the 101st 506th from start to finish of there involvement in the European campaign. Tacoa, Georgia to Zel Am See, Austria. Wast able to stand in Major Winters fox hole in Foy. and every other battle E company went through.

stephenambrosetours.com/tou...

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Mecrispy77

Oh sweet, Mahalo nui loa (Thank you very much)

Gotta plan it for the future, maybe when I hit my 10th year with #stageivpca - that'll be Oct 2024

Fight on Brother

Randy

Mecrispy77 profile image
Mecrispy77 in reply to dockam

Curahee!

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Mecrispy77

We stand alone Together - our motto for this PCa Band of Brothers

youtu.be/YgTFNUUl9mg

Mecrispy77 profile image
Mecrispy77 in reply to dockam

We spent time in every spot they went. It was a whirlwind with a full time historian. 4 star hotels everynight. Felt like 30 cities/villages and 6-8 countries in 15 days. Wild!

Spent my 45th bday, stage IV in Dachau, Wild!

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Mecrispy77

Yea, that's so awesome, just glanced thru the Itinerary, 15 epic days out there . I gonna have to add Toccoa, gotta go big. I just re-listened to that Audible book and also listened to books of Malarkey, Guarnere, Kingseed,and Shifty Powers.

Mecrispy77 profile image
Mecrispy77 in reply to dockam

All that info will serve you well sir. Let me know when your in, I got tons of tips and info. Bastone and Carantan were amazing, but Bertchesgaden was the cherry.

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Mecrispy77

Thanks so much!!

Gotta talk my bro in law into going with me :-)

Ian996 profile image
Ian996

I like to drink wine but I have cut back. I stopped drinking martinis though. My love for motorcycles is still strong ( I have 3 in the garage) I ride on the race track as often as possible and have started motorcycle touring in Europe with my wife. I hit the weight room at the gym 3 times a week and enjoy long walks with my wife, I am pretty much asymptomatic but stage 4 metastatic PC. No pain yet but I know its coming, No sex at all, Three years of zoladex has made that impossible for me which is a huge disappointment. I really liked sex and I miss it,

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Ian996

My guy rented this German monstrosity in Mexico. His pain took the Harley away way too soon, but we had a blast even on this thing. Keep riding!

Trike in Mexico
Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Zengal79

That’s cool!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Zengal79

I've heard of monster trucks, but until now I was ignorant of the existence of monster trikes. Yowzer!

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Carlosbach

It’s a German made Rewaco. Craziest thing. Really drives more like a car, but fun none the less.

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Zengal79

Wow, That's such a cool ride!! "cause the free wind is blowing thru your hair" 💙

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Zengal79

love it

❤️❤️❤️

cancerfox profile image
cancerfox

I don't do all of these, but some ideas are: long walks, nature watching, eating at restaurants, going to sporting events, reading, computer surfing, doing jigsaw puzzles or crossword puzzles, woodworking, painting, sketching, photography, shooting pool, volunteering......I'm out of ideas and I have some dishes to wash. Good luck! 🦊

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700

I had fulfilled all of my vices prior to pc , and then some . I didn’t wait for these golden years to do so . Glad I didnt!

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Lulu700

You were hell on wheels brother, but not all of us were as madcap as you. Definitely time to make up for it

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Carlosbach

Go for it! I’m not giving up on fun . I’m just saying that I had mucho .. If I died today , I’d say I had a blast 99% of life except for this pc hamstringing the fun at the onset .

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Lulu700

Lol, me too, sowed quite a bit of those wild oats.

"Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower"

My former dental assts told me that's why I got PCa 😂

Now :

youtu.be/mYvBBl1WAvU

Lol

Randy

Peace-to-you profile image
Peace-to-you

I still have young children at home…boy & girl 9 year old twins. Being a Dad and dating my wife…going to church. I like an occasional ounce of good bourbon but to relax, I prefer THC…Im not a fan of morning hangovers. Boating is my main hobby, it puts me in a whole different world. I’ve been in the fight a long time. I thank God for every single day.

Carlosbach profile image
Carlosbach in reply to Peace-to-you

Sounds like a good life. Peace to you as well.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

this has been a great post and addition to the QOL aspect of aPCa and the men / families on this group. Thanks for this QOL post.

❤️❤️❤️

Zengal79 profile image
Zengal79 in reply to Kaliber

Yes, it been great. I’ve really gotten a kick out of it. Good reminders here!

gsun profile image
gsun

I still like to make love to my wife. It takes a lot of work but is so worth it! But that’s not a vice. I used to ride a Kawasaki Concours 1400 all over western states and BC but I’m getting weaker and can’t hold up the bike anymore. Sold it and bought a little 600. I can handle that. A trike may be in the future. I built us a house when I was dxd and just finished a second one for my sister in law. No more of that! Going to putter around here for this year. Lots of small projects.

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