Anger and depression: Here is a crazy... - Advanced Prostate...

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Anger and depression

mrscruffy profile image

Here is a crazy situation I have found myself in. I am married, 58 years old on Lupron/Zytiga. My best friend is a 36 year old female that I originally met as a coworker. We travel together and often times share a bed (no sex, purely platonic). Here is the strange part, On a monthly basis I have a horrible week with depression and anger and need to take Cymbalta. My friend noticed that my depression coincides with her menstrual cycle. About every 28 days I am a miserable human being. Anyone else have a "cycle" like this?

69 Replies

Now there is a real sympathetic response. Maybe here estrogen is rubbing off on you??

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to Shooter1

My doctor said I am hormonally less a male than female and could be cycling with her

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to mrscruffy

Females have more testosterone than I at 3 T.

Does it correspond to PSA tests anxiety? (As opposed to the dreaded PMS mood swings.) Too funny though - but such a rollercoaster for both cycling at once. My poor dad had 4 girls. Just imagine what that sounded like every month.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to NWLiving

I only test PSA every three months and this is every 28 days or so. If she doesn't call me first I call her and every time she says "we just started or we are starting in a couple days" She finds it equally funny. I retired and she moved away in July, went from seeing her every day to once a month. Still crazy when she cycles.😃

How much steroids are you taking? They can cause these kinds of symptoms, generally dependent on the dose.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to gregg57

Taking absolutely no steroids

no pred with your zytiga? its known for mood swings, cognitive issues ect.

yes Prednisone, I was thinking anabolics since i was at the gym and surrounded by them. It helps with the other things but need Cymbalta for the depression

Do I cycle? Yup. I have some form of cyclothymic disorder (much less severe than true bipolar, thankfully), but it does not seem to run a regular cycle like 28 days or anything.

The most regular thing (and most interesting, to me) is that my "down" periods of 3-4 days are nearly always preceded by one or two days of a real "high" where my mood is great and I feel like life is perfect, but there are hints of irritability and impatience. After a few days of nothing really bothering me, one little thing will suddenly trigger me into a short bout of unreasonable anger or disappoinment, and my mood crashes. And the cycle repeats, usually with a few "normal" weeks between the next high/low.

The funniest thing about my highs is I hardly ever see the crashes coming, even though in hindsight they are always almost perfectly predictable. I'm too busy being happy to realize I am way TOO happy.

More about this:

I wonder regarding your cycle, do her moods change in the same way yours do, at the same times? And have you had this cycle just since you've known her, or much longer?

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to noahware

She worked for me before I got sick and she has been with me for his entire journey and along with my wife is my rock. We have lived 200 miles apart for 5 months and no change, when she is in town we still share a bed with her, think I have adopted her cycle. Not seeing her is not an option and she always asks to sleep with us. We are a weird bunch but it works for us

Tooo Weird for me to begin to answer.

sdnb profile image
sdnb in reply to Nalakrats

Same here, Nalakrats, but I am far from one to judge or speculate. The entire idea of sharing a bed with two women is uncomfortable for me, but again, who am I to judge? It's strange that a 36 year old female asks to sleep with you and your wife. Where is the line drawn? Is this really in the best interest for everyone involved? Sorry, but I see no benefit in it.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to sdnb

Actually there are 2 women and my wife. Our families friends and adult children have embraced this nonsense. We have been doing this for about 5 years with no problems because we have a hard set of rules. When you get past the optics of the situation you realize that there is so much unconditional love between us that most friendships and marriages can't come close to. I was reluctant at first but it is truly a beautiful thing. At Christmas the girls get matching gifts from Tiffany's and all wear the same thing when together. When my time comes the girls have requested I get a king size hospital bed so we can be together when I expire. I am truly loved

nonm profile image
nonm in reply to mrscruffy

a tribe, of your own

spencoid2 profile image
spencoid2 in reply to mrscruffy

That sounds great, there is so much opportunity for love that never gets expressed because sex gets in the way. Good for you and all your girls, you must be a very special person.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to spencoid2

Exactly, I am told that I am a very kind of special. Not sure what that means😜 We have had many a conversation on that topic and how it would destroy a beautiful thing that we have made and destroy my life as I know it. I asked my wife if she was concerned about me cheating, her reply " those girls need a boyfriend as old as their fathers like you need a girlfriend with three kids" She is very wise

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to mrscruffy


“Life is either an adventure or nothing at all”. Not sure who said that, and never judgements. You don't judge me, I wont judge you.Your wife seems supportive. The coincidence of cycles. Interesting. You are clearly in tune with each other.

My wife and I know what the other is about to say often, and just smile at each other and nod.



Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Spyder54

Hec yah Mike . Nobody likes to be judged . 👍👏👏👏

Well at least you know she's not pregnant....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor....

j-o-h-n Wednesday 11/10/2021 12:20 AM EST

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to j-o-h-n

Damn sure not by me. Hahahah

rather than thinking it's "Tooo Weird for me to begin to answer" I think it's wonderful that you have both of these women in your life and that they are both so supportive; I would just take the cycling together as evidence of the great sympathy between you and your friend and be grateful, such sympathy is too rare in this world

MateoBeach profile image
MateoBeach in reply to jimreilly

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Well said.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to jimreilly

Lucky indeed to have love ❤️👏👏👏👏👏

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to Lulu700

The wife and I thought we could do this on our own as we don't have kids. We were wrong. The girls stepped in at my lowest point when I was considering suicide. I owe them my life

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to mrscruffy

Wonderful . I’m glad you pulled through the hellish part . I too went into a dark space for a few years .

Phooey to those that question what makes you happy. Good for you. You gotta tell us now….is she cute?


mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to Schwah

There are actually two of them. They and my wife are gorgeous

Loves of my life
Schwah profile image
Schwah in reply to mrscruffy

Niceeeee. Love is short. Enjoy brutha.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to mrscruffy

U 1 lucky son ! 👏👏👏🥳🥳🏋🏽‍♂️

You need to learn to ride tandem, mate...

After being on tE2 for 3 1/2 years my E2 level is in the range of a premenopausal woman (200 to 300) so I am most likely more of a female than a male; however, no mood swings, depression, etc! My complexion and hair are back to what they were 25 years ago.

I fear this might not have a happy ending. Operating outside design parameters is real iffy.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to ck722

We have been doing this for about 5 years. We bonded over my illness, got matching ink and have very strict rules. "No lies, no secrets and no sex" The girls are super protective of my wife and I. Their input on my relationship with my wife has made me a better man and husband. Better with them than without them

nonm profile image
nonm in reply to ck722

Agreed with you at first. and then, the END GAME seems to be fine, and different.

spencoid2 profile image
spencoid2 in reply to ck722

Operating inside design parameters is real iffy too. Look at the divorce and murder statistics.

That’s weird, I had terrible depression and panic going into this war, my doctor put me on Effexor to help. The drug has been a life saver for me. Keep up the fight warrior 🙏🙏🙏🙏

When i first went on ADT i was a mess. After the spike in testosterone after the shot i bottomed out like a rock in water. Came home from work in near tears. I had my wife and two daughters in the house but never put it together if my moods followed their cycles but i know they all were in tune together. My daughter told me three people in the house menstrating wrre enough! Might have been a coralation there🤔. I was a mess even after 10 years on that crap. Been off lupron since the plandemic and feel better for sure. But thats coming to an end soon as PSA is rising. Guess the Xtandi is losing efficacy. To get any other drug paid for my onc says i need to go back on ADT even though testoterone is quite low at 38 last time it was checked. Through the years ive been on lots of different drugs to control my mood. Its just a crazy ride for alot of us.....Hold on!

DANG, with all this "cycle discussion" I'm gonna hop on my bicycle and ride to Walmart for some apples.


GALA ORGANIC 😀 plus Orgain Organic Protein Powder that gets mixed into Elmhurst Milked Walnut milk substitute along with Mushroom Harvest 14 Mushroom Blend ORGANIC Powder and 100% Organic Cocoa Powder.

I looked up the 14 mushroom supplement and could not find specific information on beta glucan and PSP (and PSK) content. They mention outside testing but do not seem to publish the actual values, just the amount of mushroom (mycelium and or fruiting bodies) I am taking Oriveda which does list the beta glucan and polyphenyls levels for what its worth? I think they cost significantly more and would consider switching if I could get actual analysis. I was pretty sure that the ordveda complex listed PSP and PSK separately but that info is not on the label anymore? There is so much bs in the mushroom supplement field. The oriveda CCCE formula lists turkey tail as the first ingredient so I would assume that most of the beta glucans are PSP and PSK? Their web site used to be more technical and less web fancy with all sorts of overlays and bs.

Your young friend has the highest hormone levels in your situation that are controlling the group cycling. Each time she visits she reinforces the the pattern.

My anger and depression didn't cycle any real periodicity, but it did wax and wane. I never understood why.

Your cycle seems unique, but it does seem to have the potential of becoming a perfect storm. Mixing depression, hormones and finding emotional completion split between three emotionally intimate adults sounds like a good road trip that could become rocky. People get needy and the best of intentions and thoughts can become toxic. Love in all its forms means giving more than you receive at least on the surface. I hope you never need to sacrifice what gives you a "high," but be willing to if that high leads to misery. The Wizard said love is defined by how much you are loved, not by how much you love. But then, he was talking to a tin man with a watch for a heart.

timotur profile image
timotur in reply to Jvaughan0

Well said JV...!

We heard a bunch of similar comments when we started this 5 years ago. I am retired and my wife works so I have much more freedom to travel than her. Sometimes travel with the girls and my wife prefers that to my guy friends for a reason, Vegas with the guys means spending $2k at the strip club and illicit drugs, Vegas with the girls means laying by the pool all day and no nonsense like gambling and strippers. They are like chaperones

I pretend we now have my depression meds strong enough to make a difference, but I have noticed that i have two or three days a month that I suffer more than the others, and although i haven't tried to chart it, I believe it lines up with those few days out of one week a month that my wife was interested in sex. three weeks a month I would anticipate those few days, then struggle to keep up with the demand. having trouble finding things to look forward to now.

I had a beloved long haired wiener dog name scruffy. He was a character extraordinaire .. my first two years getting my t ripped off from me i was angry and I often thought I was pregnant . ? I became completely feminized . I Felt that I was turning into a woman . I had morning sickness and nausea .. I still have it . I am sure that you are commiserating with your young female friend . My wife and I went through menopause together. That was rough . She came out of hers . I’m still a sensitive bitch now for life . Fragile indeed.But I do still have a bit of the white male rage lurking inside of me .I don’t leave the house packing anymore .. In a zombie apocalypse ! But if any unfortunate soul breach’s my perimeter fencing then they will submit to a smokin Barrel . If society crumbles I’m ready . If not I’m ready for peace Platonic love I also have with my attractive sexy wife .. love is love baby . It makes life worth living .

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to Lulu700

Well said, the girls call me a neutered Pitbull, I don't seek trouble but if it shows up and is directed at the girls I will fight at the drop of a hat. I may be old but still big and strong from lifting. It has become an issue two or three times in the last couple years. And all four of us r packing

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to mrscruffy

Got to protect the home front . It is very good that you’re able to lift and stay strong ! 🏋🏽‍♂️👏👏

Nuttin beats my blow up doll.................

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor....

j-o-h-n Wednesday 11/10/2021 1:15 PM EST

I am confused. Are you taking Cymbalta just for that week? Or are you saying the Cymbalta doesn’t do it’s job that week? I am on Cymbalta and I take it daily not just as needed.

I only take it the week of my Lupron injection and the week of the "cycle".

Well, after reading all the reply’s, all I can say is that down the road your girls will probably be jealous of your man boobs…the lack of testosterone not not only creates emotional changes, but also physical…just make sure you shave your chest!

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to CRK2

Ya I have never had a lot of body hair so it is gone now. The girls have a sick sense of humor and tease me about having man boobs cuz I worry about that (do not have them) They also make fun of my shrinking unit and give me this emoji🤮 when they know my wife and I are having sex or people ask if we are having sex. They also refuse to compliment me because it goes to my head. No subject is off limits with my crew and they are ruthless

I am a psychiatrist with a lot of experience treating bipolar. It is a very complex disorder. This info might not apply to you. Sometimes symptoms worsen over the years. Antidepressants can worsen the highs. Depending on symptoms and your level of concern you might consider talking with a psychiatrist but if you are able to, make sure he knows a lot about bipolar. Mike

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to Psychmed

Thanks for the info, I see a Psychiatrist as needed. Frustrating for me is I have never had any problem such as this and have been told t is induced by my medication. Can't stop the meds, just another symptom I live with

One thing I have not seen mentioned is a small possibility. I have a friend who was born male that was having a problem that doctors thought might be cancer. When they operated they found an ovary. Not joking. Google Intersex. It is more common than most people think.

Way more anger and depression coming your way if your wife finds out about your 36 year old friend.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to carlo8686

Nope, we share a bed, only sex is me and my wife

carlo8686 profile image
carlo8686 in reply to mrscruffy

I’m just glad to hear you can still have sex. My ability went with the radiation and it isn’t coming back it seems.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to carlo8686

Have you tried Tri-mix?

carlo8686 profile image
carlo8686 in reply to mrscruffy

Have not heard of that one. Prescription?

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to carlo8686

Yes it is injected into the base of the penis, doesn't hurt and stays hard for 3+ hours. Often times my wife wakes me for a second round. We just enjoy sex. I also had real good results from Muse

Menopause will fix that problem, then you have completely different set of issues.

mrscruffy profile image
mrscruffy in reply to tsim

Already went through it with my wife, two more times won't be bad, should be easier when I don't live with them

Get on an antidepressant like sertraline

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