No nasty replies please: I love my... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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No nasty replies please

Madbeach profile image

I love my husband and his cancer and watching him decline is tearing me apart, so I joined this group for support and compassion ONLY. No nasty or negative replies are appreciated. Thank you to those that understand and I wish you all many years on your journey.

49 Replies

Telling you that conspiracy theories are getting in your way is helpful, not nasty. Drugs have been developed and tested by doctors who want to help patients. Writing those drugs off as a product of a vast international conspiracy will only hasten your husband's decline and make him feel worse. Sometimes the best way to support a patient is to expose the myths that are getting in his way.

6357axbz profile image
6357axbz in reply to Tall_Allen

Well said

I understand your feelings and I really feel your pain but I just wanted to reassure you that the oncologists really are trying to help. It may be that some of them are more competent than others but I have not met one who I thought would be purely motivated by money. Please give them a chance. The medication is tough but it has got to be worth it and it may be that you both find a way to improve the negative side effects . I wish it was easier for you and your husband and I wish you both the very best.

I’m sorry if someone here was not compassionate to you .. we must all at least show compassion to everyone in the same boat . I’m the same as you . Looking for compassion . Some egos prevent this .. some aren’t in the same boat . Or frame of mind .. I’ve been insulted myself here before.. it’s not just you . This is one constant in cyberville . Bullies .. I wasn’t a party to previous happenings .. but Social media by definition is supposed to be friendly . Good luck to you and your beloved husband! ❤️✌️

maley2711 profile image
maley2711 in reply to Lulu700

" at least show compassion to everyone in the same boat "

Yes, we can have disagreements, miscommunications, etc.....but always be respectful and not condescending toward others. Most here are in pain...if not physically, emotionally!!! sometimes that may be forgotten. ?

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to maley2711

Amen Brother! Sorry . I guess that I’m more like a sister now myself .

maley2711 profile image
maley2711 in reply to Lulu700

brother!!!!

monte1111 profile image
monte1111 in reply to maley2711

Who's on first?

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to maley2711

❤️❤️❤️

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Lulu700

❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Kaliber

How’s it hanging?

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Lulu700

“ it’s “ gone but I’m still hanging around . Thanx for asking buddy.

😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️

monte1111 profile image
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

I could get at least 2 j-o-h-n slurs out of that remark.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

Yea … j-o-h-n’s the master… nobody does it like him.

❤️❤️❤️

monte1111 profile image
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

Yea. He is a great juggler.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

Back in his pre adt days …. 😁😁😁. Weren’t we all.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111

Customer: Do you have that book for men with small penises?

Store owner: Sorry, I don't know if it's in yet.

Customer: Yep, that's the one!

Put a bumper sticker on your car that says: "Honk if you have a small penis" and then intentionally cut people off in traffic..

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 09/28/2021 10:30 PM DST

Madbeach profile image
Madbeach in reply to j-o-h-n

Love it…..you are hysterical

monte1111 profile image
monte1111 in reply to j-o-h-n

Two for the price of one. Love it.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to j-o-h-n

Haha😂😂. R U In yet?

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Lulu700

Ruth "Harry is it in yet?"

Harry "Yes Ruth baby"

Ruth "OMG it hurts"

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 09/29/2021 7:19 PM DST

CAMPSOUPS profile image
CAMPSOUPS in reply to Kaliber

Perfect. I pondered how I would answer that and drew a blank. ( I like "but I'm still hanging around")My Low and to the left answer was always a bit shady or debatable but now an out right lie. ha.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to CAMPSOUPS

Short and to the point 😂😂😂

CAMPSOUPS profile image
CAMPSOUPS in reply to Kaliber

There. That's it. Ha !Its not "up" for debate.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to CAMPSOUPS

Now you’re getting the “ hang “ of it.

CAMPSOUPS profile image
CAMPSOUPS in reply to Kaliber

Ha! Better digress and not lead this posters thread astray. Will have to pick this up again.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to CAMPSOUPS

Wise choice …❤️❤️❤️ We love madbeach, a super caregiver … hubby is very lucky. digs in there deep to help him. The best ….

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Kaliber

Shame....All of you should be "hung"..........

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 09/28/2021 9:54 PM DST

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n

Shudda wudda cudda 😁😁😁😁❤️❤️

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Kaliber

Hanging out ,is what we do . B well Hermano !❤️

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Lulu700

Be well backatcha my brother ❤️❤️❤️❤️

There is a health unlocked group that is specific to prostate cancer caregivers- perhaps check that one out also. You probably need support now also

I think it is very hard to figure out what is the right way to go. There are so many treatments available and the side effects impacts on the quality of life must sometimes be weighed against life itself. If only we had "the cure" for everyone, there would be no decisions to make.

I have found that knowing what your specific condition is and what stage, etc. is critical, as well as learning all there is to know about available treatments. Western medicine does not have all the answers but, you can do your homework about traditional treatments and non-traditional also. Meditation, diet, exercise, Qi Gong, supplements, and eastern medicine too.

I find the key is know which is most helpful at what stage. Relying entirely on no treatment or non-traditional ones when the disease has progressed can hasten its progression. Western medicine tends to have heroic treatments that can stop the spread of the disease for a time but it always comes at a cost. The question is whether the cost is too high? Quality of life matters. It's a balancing act.

I hope you seriously consider all your husband's options for a longer life and one that is worth living. May your journey be where you need to go. All the best to you both.

When you find yourself beginning to believe in conspiracy theories, take a step back and ask yourself this: Can so many people really keep something like this (could be anything) a total secret? Maybe a few people could, but thousands? Like the number that would be needed to conceal any shenanigans in medical care? That would mean hundreds or thousands of doctors, pharmacists, scientists, CEOs, vice presidents, managers, and their staffs and secretaries and god knows who else.

No conspiracy to keep people sick so doctors and pharmaceutical companies can make more money could ever work for two simple reasons: 1) People are big blabbermouths. They love to talk. They love to spill secrets, if only to feel important. But most of all, in all of those thousands of people needed to keep what you think is a vast conspiracy of greed and silence, there would be thousands who would talk. They can't help it. Whether it's for their 15 minutes of fame or because they're simply too honest and caring to allow such vile behavior to continue unnoticed, they would talk. People simply cannot keep secrets this big. It's not about national security, after all.

And 2): Doctors and drug companies are not about making and keeping people sick, not even for lots of money and power, and even if some of them were, they'd just never get away with it. There are too many good people to prevent that.

Try to find a little more faith in your fellow human beings. Would you ever do the kinds of things you're suspecting they are doing? Not a chance, I'm sure. Well, they're no different. Their ethics and morals are like yours. Of course not all of them are as competent as others, some may be too stuck in their ways, some may be arrogant know-it-alls with a god complex, but for every incompetent or incurious or lazy doctor or scientist, there are a thousand who are competent, very curious, always studying and trying to learn what works and what doesn't work, who are very energetic, and caring. People become scientists and doctors because they are overwhelmingly curious about how things work, and how they might work better, with the goal being to help humankind.

They're not in it just for the money - they simply aren't. There are far easier ways to make big bucks than slaving over microscopes all your life, or conducting complex studies, or working 12-15 hours a day in offices or operating rooms to help people who are hurting and despondent and desperate.

It's hard sometimes to find such faith in people when you and your loved one are feeling so afraid and despondent and alone. You just have to remember that those people are very much like you and your partner - decent, caring, ethical people who try their best, not always succeeding, but always with good intentions. Just like you.

maley2711 profile image
maley2711 in reply to kapakahi

That is beautifully written !!!! A few people may engage in a conspiracy and keep a secret.....but a conspiracy that requires the cooperation of hundreds or even thousands is a very difficult thing to pull off. The Docs I know almost all have families with kids and live fairly normal lives, but with more discretionary income than many of us!! I would like to have a system in which compensation is not directly correlated with number of procedures done!! But, I suppose that we'll never have such a system. My Kaiser urologist assured me that his compensation is not tied to number of procedures...... I thought perhaps he'd boot me from his office when I mentioned that topic!! I see no way that Kaiser Docs benefit from the prescriptions they write?

Miket218 profile image
Miket218 in reply to kapakahi

Very nicely stated! I’m constantly amazed at the number of people who subscribe to conspiracy theories without first pausing to consider the impossibility that thousands —in some cases tens of thousands—of strangers could conspire to defraud; and succeed in doing so for decades without a single person coming forth.

greatjohn profile image
greatjohn in reply to kapakahi

Having faith is the best medicine for happiness…Whether for a few months or for a few years….To choose happiness and faith are the best prescriptions.

Please refer to my reply in your other post.

Sometimes telling people what they need to hear is far more supportive and compassionate than sympathy.

What your husband & you are going through is horrible and I am genuinely sorry for you both. Wishing you strength to get through this dark time.

If my posts were considered "nasty" then I apologize profusely. I only meant them to be humorous and maybe give your dear husband a laugh now and then.

Give him my sincerest regards, and hope that he beats the monster.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 09/28/2021 12:59 PM DST

Madbeach profile image
Madbeach in reply to j-o-h-n

He Heck no. I love reading your posts. All is well with us.

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to Madbeach

❤️❤️❤️

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Madbeach

For you (and Hubby):

Bigamy is having one husband too many.

Monogamy is the same.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 09/28/2021 9:52 PM DST

Too bad we cant vote to cure cancer.... 😱

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Boywonder56

Actually we do vote..... but graveyard votes are not valid........

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 09/28/2021 3:36 PM DST

SPEEDYX profile image
SPEEDYX in reply to j-o-h-n

Only in political elections!!!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please find a way to take care of you too. 🙏

So sorry if I was ever out of line. j-o-h-n keeps pushing me.

Madbeach profile image
Madbeach in reply to monte1111

you all make me laugh and I appreciate that.

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