Elective prostate removal

[Madbeach]

Ok, enough of the badgering me about my statement that if I were a man, I’d elect to have me prostate removed BEFORE finding cancer. So please everyone stop with your comments. I’m a woman was just stating something, even if not reality. Sure didn’t mean to offend anyone. Arg! Please don’t be mean. I’m on this site because my spouse has recurrent prostate cancer so I would appreciate kind comments or NO COMMENTS if my posting rubs u the wrong way.

[Tall_Allen]

Unfortunately, you can’t dictate people’s responses on an open forum. Did you honestly expect a different response from men who value their continence and erectile function?

[Madbeach in reply to Tall_Allen]

I understand and thx for the response. I think I was just overwhelmed with all of this. It’s hard to deal with. I cry and get upset and I don’t want to do that. I’m supposed to be a support system for my hubby but he ends up trying to comfort me. I wish u the very best in your journey.

[Tall_Allen in reply to Madbeach]

At Cancer Support Community, they have support groups for caregivers. Maybe there's such a group in your city.

[cesces]

It's no big deal.

Too many cranky men around here.

Though to provide context, it's equivalent would be proposing women remove their breasts to avoid breast cancer.

It only makes sense if you have a strong genetic propensity for the cancer.

And it is a psychologically touchy piece of anatomy. LOL

[jimreilly]

I'n sorry if my (or any one else's comments) made things more difficult for you, As someone who at times has had a hard time dealing with incontinence and sexual functioning issues resulting from an RP I wanted to make my feelings clear, not belittle yours or display a lack of sympathy for your anguish or your husband's. These are difficult. complicated decisions. I hope you can find some sympathetic and fellow-suffering people to talk with. As a companion and caregiver your feelings are important, and you need to be taken care of, too.

[Bigdo58]

Madbeach, me too..to jimreilly's comment! No offence meant at all. 😊

[Wongle1]

To be honest I agree what so important about erectile functions there are many ways of making and showing your love as me and my hubby found out when he was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer sadly I lost him in2019 after just 3years of the shitty disease.If he could have had his prostate taken away before he would gladly have done it.

Look at women who have double mastectomies who do men think they feel but it is a choice that could not be made lightly and would have to be from the individual them selves xx

[Lettuce231]

Sending you a big hug 🤗.

I think perhaps your thoughts were driven out of frustration and uncertainty, looking at what your loved one is going through and therefore ultimately you too.

Sometimes our hormones take over 😉, no one will have taken offence, you just promoted a healthy debate.

I wish you and your husband good luck with the future, we will be here for you.

Phil

[CSHobie]

Madbeach, thanks for being part of this forum, no offence taken here. Unfortunately you see the prostate isn't something you won't miss.

[ck722]

Personally, I think if prostate cancer or breast cancer is in your family having a radical prostatectomy prophylactically would be a smart and possibly save you from the hell of prostate cancer therapies which are life prolonging but are only rarely and accidentally curative. No true cure exists at this time. If it did this forum would cease to exist.

[tarhoosier]

There was a man in my PCa support group who had endured years of misery with enlarged prostate and prostatitis. Drugs and other treatments had provided some relief but it was not long lasting. He was diagnosed with a mild PCa case, I cannot recall the G score but something that would otherwise have been watch and wait. He came to the group meeting for a few months to gauge the effect of surgery from others before he made his decision to have his prostate removed. According to his remarks it did not seem foolish to pursue removal for that non-cancer purpose. It would solve his problem though perhaps contribute to others. I guess he was ready for the trade.

[Madbeach in reply to tarhoosier]

The best to you and your hubby.

[Jvaughan0]

You touched a nerve that probably should be touched a little. It was an honest question that looms in the shadows of many men with prostate cancer. It is also a question that many of us publicly avoid as we chase PSA levels and debate the latest treatment options. Your pondering was an innocent thought. Don't hold back in the future, share whatever is on your mind. Candid open exchange only improves the quality of this group.

[Madbeach in reply to Jvaughan0]

Thank u for ur kind response. We all need to treat each other with compassion

[dadzone43]

I did not respond before. Your question (from the female perspective) was valid. You deserved courtesy.

[ck722]

Elective prostate removal. YES! This disease caught me by surprise. This is a smart Idea that should be offered.

[Spyder54]

Madbeach,I’m almost with you on this one. Knowing now, what I know about that stupid little walnut (or grapefruit🤬) sized gland, and all the trouble it causes for all men, eventually, if we live long enough, just take it out. All it does is pump Semen. At some mature age, we dont need semen, so just remove all the risk while it is easier and less complicated to remove.

Women with family history and certain Brcca genes choose masectomy for the same reason.

Sorry you were picked on. We are all warriors in a warrior state of mind. “A coward dies a thousand deaths, a Warrior only one”.

Your husband is lucky to have you.

Our best to you and yours,

Mike & Barb

St Pete

[Madbeach in reply to Spyder54]

Thank you for your kind reply. I wish you and your family the best.

[Boywonder56]

Like ta said its a tuff audience....ur lucky j.o.h.n. has moved to the catskills...but with all due respect ...think thats what they are trying to do with BRACA testing of wich i dont have enough of but if did could offer kids some guidance...b.w

[Shorter]

Madbeach, I think if you read my first comment, I pretty much agree with your statement. It would depend on several things, especially family history. My dad, his 3 brothers, and his dad all had prostate cancer. Cancer took out 3 of them. I was the unlucky one and I got a more aggressive type (4+5=9) and about a decade younger than any of them. My urologist/surgeon was worthless, but I think my PCP probably saved my life by sounding the alarm early.

I got an issue from surgery that was unusual, and enough to make me question whether life was still worth it. My thinking is there is less damage if done early on most men. Still, it is understandable why many men reel over hearing this, because there is likely to be some loss or complication even if done before the cancer develops. Also, at what age do you have it done? My prostate size had been increasing for at least 10 years before my diagnosis. That means I would have had it removed in my 40's. Still a deal for me, but not for most men.

[Madbeach]

Yes, I bet it’s a tough road for you and that’s so unfair to lose so many in ur family from this awful cancer. My hubby had his first radiation for the bone Mets today. Getting a total of 14 this time. Not sure if u know his background, but prostatectomy in 2004, 38 radiation treatments in 2010 and now it’s back. He hasn’t started on the Xtandi yet, cuz we are still trying to see if he can get it thru the VA (he only has prescription coverage via the VA); if not, we will get it thru our insurance and will probably start taking it within one or two weeks. Started the Eligard shot last month and will repeat every 6 months. Both he and I are so very scared for him to take the Xtandi due to the awful side effects but that will have to be his decision. My heart breaks for him. He is a pretty tough guy by cancer brings you to ur knees, so to speak.

I wish u the very best on ur journey. Bless you and ur family.