Preparing for our journey's end - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Preparing for our journey's end

HopingForTheBest1 profile image

None of us know, nor probably want to know, when our journey will end. We will continue to fight as long as possible. Most importantly, we need to prepare as best we can to minimize the burden for the ones we leave behind.

I have made sure to update my will, added a living will, made prearranged funeral arrangements, gotten rid of clothes I no longer need, shredded a lot of unnecessary paperwork, and met with an estate planning attorney to cover my bases.

I am definitely not ready to throw in the towel any time soon. I have more life to live and will continue to seek out viable treatment options. There's a lot of promising research going on out there.

Never give up. Never give in. We are all in this fight together. The fight of our lives. Best of luck to all of us fellow warriors.

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HopingForTheBest1 profile image
HopingForTheBest1
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24 Replies
Kaliber profile image
Kaliber

Good for you brother ...sounds like you have a clear cool head and taking care of business. Sounds like you have a proper handle on things.

💪💪💪👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️

Magnus1964 profile image
Magnus1964

Fight on brother, I didn't see xtandi on your list of treatments. You are a true warrior. Keep up the good fight.

Cleodwoman profile image
Cleodwoman

Cleodman just finished doing the same things for me. It has been very emotional and painful but I know that when the day comes, I will be so grateful that he did all of that for me. I know I won’t have the head or heart to think or do anything but just to live with the pain and emptiness 😔

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Cleodwoman

Oh wow Cleod-woman..... You got a good man there... Just keep hugging him....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Saturday 02/27/2021 11:40 PM EST

teacherdude70 profile image
teacherdude70

Your post says more than just the words themselves. Your attitude is a great example for us all.Thank you.

Be well and enjoy Life.

CharlieBC profile image
CharlieBC

Kudos on your continue to fight, and preparing your estate planning. My wife and I did the same, but took it one step further. A living Trust is beneficial to those you leave behind- it keeps your property out of probate, and saves your beneficiaries money. Hopefully many years down the road.

PeteLG profile image
PeteLG in reply to CharlieBC

Be careful of a living trust in some states you avoid probate costs, but loose the protection of the probate courts too. Customize your will with specific instructions may be in your best interest...

Dastardly profile image
Dastardly

There is certainly a lot to do when preparing for end of life, and you can't leave it until the last minute either. Your wife/next of kin needs to know where the money is, who all your suppliers are (ie power, broadband etc), how to use the computer to log into all your online accounts, which ones to keep and which to cancel, pension arrangements, what to about any special requests and a whole lot more. You've already mentioned having a good tidy out and getting rid of unwanted items. It may well be that your wife/partner would want to downsize to a smaller house and neither she, nor any other family members want to spend days filling skips with stuff you should have thrown out long ago.Here in the UK we have something called direct cremation. They collect the body from wherever, organise the cremation and eventually present you with the ashes. There is no viewing the body, no service at the crematorium etc. and it is an awful lot cheaper than 'the works'. You can have a service of remembrance later on when everybody has come to terms with your demise if you wish, or just plan a great evening for friends and family to get together and have a good time in your memory. Both my wife and I have decided that is what we want to do.

in reply to Dastardly

We are doing the same. I don't see the need to have a funeral for people that don't care about you when you are alive. We will have something small with our close family and friends who actually care.

PeteLG profile image
PeteLG

Good advice. Mary and I have done the same.Our executor has a one page document listing of our accounts and assets which I update annually to ease her responsibilities.

Twice, I had that family duty and I was in the Navy overseas.

Choose your executor wisely is my advice.

Pete

larry_dammit profile image
larry_dammit

I hate this monster but have realized that I may be lucky, ! The poor guy that dies in his sleep never gets a chance to say good by, hug his kids or plan the future for his loved ones without him. The good lord has a plan for all of us. No I wouldn’t wish this monster on anyone ,but think about it for a while. Keep up the fight brothers. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

mangeycritter profile image
mangeycritter

Hello Hoping,

With your calm and toughness I would not bet against your beating it. I will pray you do, and in the meantime thank you for showing us the way.

MateoBeach profile image
MateoBeach

My solution is my loving wife who is just a touch obsessive compulsive. She already takes care of all financial matters and accounts, all banking and bills. I have educated her about wise investing and established her with a trusted and responsible financial advisor.She also does basically all of the housework and loves me unto death! All I have to do is make dinner for her every night, Take a bath with her whenever and take the trash out. Lucky man I am!

addicted2cycling profile image
addicted2cycling in reply to MateoBeach

Married 48 years in June and SHE DOES NO HOUSEWORK. FROM DAY 1 HER INCOME WAS HERS and MY INCOME WAS HERS with her handling all bills, accounts, taxes etc . OUR DAUGHTER has control of EVERYTHING if wife dies before me and I receive a small allowance. MY job is too make sure SHE IS HAPPY and free to do WHAT SHE WANTS whenever she wants. Estate planning was taken care of when in our 30's.

I AM NOT fighting this PCa but instead LIVING WITH IT the best I can AND WILL NOT spend $$$$ on extending a NON PRODUCTIVE or NON PHYSICALLY ACTIVE life. Death should not be feared because for those who believe in something after they will be REWARDED WITH eternal joy and for me when I DIE there will be NOTHING. IMO, death instead of the pain of daily life is a better alternative.

RonnyBaby profile image
RonnyBaby

I echo the sentiment - as difficult as it might seem - hard to imagine 'life without us' but we all must pass - even those without cancer ......

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

I'm thinking about dropping my girl friend.... I haven't done a thing... I'm leaving all of my crap and work to do to my wife's new husband... (Tough nookies, buddy and btw wash the car if you can get it to run)....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 02/23/2021 6:51 PM EST

HopingForTheBest1 profile image
HopingForTheBest1 in reply to j-o-h-n

Always look forward to your responses, and appreciate your levity. 🤣

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

Thank you.... and I always think of Trent Lott (ex senator of Miss) and of Stephen Colbert (late show) when I see your pic......

Keep fighting (and I hope laughing)...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 02/23/2021 7:15 PM EST

I have been told more than once about my resemblance to Stephen Colbert. In fact, about 2 years ago a woman had stared at me and stopped me in a supermarket parking lot asking me if I was him. I was tempted to say yes, but didn't.

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to HopingForTheBest1

Next time say yes.... and charge them for the autograph..........

That's what I do when they mistaken me for Brad Pitt (I tell them I'm his twin Bad Pitt)...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Saturday 02/27/2021 11:47 PM EST

DMohr011 profile image
DMohr011

I have downloaded the will and living will forms. Just need to complete them. Started a few times this last month and I just fall apart, emotionally not ready yet. Frickin meds.

Thank you or the common sense post and advice. This is a priority for me now.

Dave

HopingForTheBest1 profile image
HopingForTheBest1 in reply to DMohr011

It definitely helps to have a supportive spouse who participates in the decision making process.

tallguy2 profile image
tallguy2

Congratulations on making life easier for your beneficiaries and heirs. Well done.No get out there and enjoy life!

HopingForTheBest1 profile image
HopingForTheBest1

It is now 2 years since my post. Still here and still fighting. Glad to hear that many have found, and continue to find. it useful. 😀

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