Well, after nearly a year of contemplating prostate surgery and taking supplements for many months, I had my prostate removed two weeks ago. I was Gleason 4+3. Glad to learn there was no spread and the surgeon attempted to do nerve-sparing. Previously, I was glad to have gotten good advice and information on this healthunlocked.com site from Tall Allen, Nalakrats and J-o-h-n and others.
I am not sure at this early going how life will be and I have some anxiety. I can hold nearly all of my bladder except for the occasional dribble at the top, that's expected, fine. As I was forewarned, there is no sign of excitement below as yet. I still enjoy massaging my lady but its like my "master control panel" below went out. I never realized much how the prostate was the real driver, the power, not the testicles. Not sure when it might revive, or even partially. Now I wonder if I could have delayed the surgery another year (because my father kept his ailing prostate 'til he passed at 91). So! To the guys who have been through this, and knowing I was an average cancer case that was contained, fill me in on what's ahead. Is partial pleasure still possible after RP, or how long until it might show any life? Intimacy had functioned pretty well until surgery. Does Viagra help, and do you always have to rely on it? I am concerned because I likely will be getting married in a few months. I know some of you will say to just be glad the cancer is gone (I am) and accept whatever situation (impotence). I'm just looking to hear how it was in other guys situations to have a clue what's ahead. Trying not to look back.
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CarrotBoy
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Great news for you CarrotBoy! Thanks for letting us know. Personally, I think you did the right thing . Now continue your nutrients and live more healthy than ever before. It’s possible that you are now cured. Don’t predict a return on yourself? It can happen ? . Maybe you can better your odds by living well. ?? My father too had first bladder cancer . After 35 years of two packs of Salem menthols a day . Even though he quit 20 years earlier at 55. Put into remission with chemo containing TB. But then two years later pc had an RP... then two years later passed from heart issues. Basically a broken heart from moms cruel nature towards him. You have love? In my opinion it Is worth living for . I expect a clean slate for you. This is a bit of a reprieve. In my unprofessional opinion , if you had waited longer the severity could have increased to a much worse state . Like I was in initially. You don’t want to go there ever. And you won’t. You are ahead of the game by being most proactive . Sex? Libido? What’s that? Jokingly 😩 Sex or no sex finding daily happiness and enjoying life is still possible. Be well and keep truckin! Life with pc gone is better than fighting it for your very life . It has gone from you and hopefully it’ll never be back . Pluck the day!
Thank you for your positive comments and wisdom, Whimpy. You wrote to me last spring too. I just remember how good romance was just 2 weeks ago. But you are right! It's a sacrifice for a longer life. I have to be thankful I am in the clear, thanks to a great surgeon near Pittsburgh and God above. How is your situation? Any improvement?
Well, if you had every bit of prostate tissue removed before any spread of Pca occurred, then you are quite lucky. I had too much Pca outside capsule to be able to have an RP and I had a Gleason 9, when Psa was only 6 back in 2009.
I had EBRT and ADT and other add-on drugs and chemo and all failed one after the other and I am presently having another round of Lu177 because 4 shots last year killed more Pca mets than any doctor could poke a stick at. Still some Pca in bones left, but maybe I'll never get rid of it all. I am now 73, but I cycled 80km today, and frankly, I'd rather ride a bicycle for 2 hours than ride a woman for two hours and not having any partner is just fine for me; I don't need other ppl. I LIKE other ppl, but know the difference between need and want.
After 3 years of ADT, my Rodger faded down from being a nice happy flagpole to being a drain pipe. But I was 65, and all the ladies I saw around had had their pause from men become permanent, ie, the Menopause, and NONE ever wanted sex, or could ever speak about it. So Rodger's work was done. No more close vibrant intimacy was ever again possible.
But I have had successes in life as a builder doing house extensions, and later changing to electronics trades, but I was spectacularly useless and finding any woman at any time who happily "stayed on the porch" offering undying love until death do we part, through sickness and health, to exclusion of others. This is stuff that all the sheelas I met just could not handle, and they tended to practice silly notions of feminism invented by Germaine Greer, who basically whinged and moaned she could never get a relationship to get going and last. So by getting Pca at 62, I basically didn't have to endure making some female partner sad because sex life came to an end. I don't know any man who didn't have ED after an RP, but one doctor in Sydney was offering an RP with full nerve sparing, so that made a big difference to how those patients fared and from what I heard they remained a Hot Rooster, and were not subject to being forced to be a feather duster.
But during 20 years before my diagnosis I tried quite a few GF and really, none were into anything that lasted, they all wanted to be able to travel, and were so scared of ever being domesticated, and with me being so settled and independent and well able to live alone, they didn't like not being needed. So marriage with any of these "left over ladies" just was never to work. I might have had to go to Thailand for a bride, but all to often a marriage
turn into a loveless arrangement after one child, and that idea just didn't spur me on to go over seas to fine love. I could see ppl alone around me, and how come so few ever could marry? The gals would like to bonk me, but never commit to anyone. Perhaps you'll have far more success than I ever experienced, I really hope so.
Life rarely gives us all things we wanted while alive, and if I think about my situation I know that millions have a far worse life, so be grateful for your good years.
Based on my experience, if drugs are ineffective for ED (e.g. Cialis or Viagra), a potential next step is a prescription for Tri-Mix (or similar) injections, with which sex has been fairly satisfying. Your doctor or an ED specialist should be able to provide advice and, if appropriate, a prescription.
For the benefit of others facing the RP vs. RT decision: I have heard that the success rate for "nerve sparing" is only ~50%.
Agree about using Trimix. Works wonders for me. Had RP and radiation after just to be safe. Trimix has worked great and is not a big deal. No fear of "losing it" during so that is a nice side effect.
Your situation pretty well matches mine. I may be perhaps a bit older than you at 75. You should probably accept the fact that you will need chemical help in terms of the ED. Viagra helped only minimally for me, even at high dosages. I went on Tri-mix and the results were truly spectacular. In my tennis group, the results are the same for the few guys in our situation. So I would recommend that you start with viagra, but if that does not work, Tri-Mix should work. Now, for some sobering info. After 10 years, I had to go on harmone therapy (Lupron in my case). My PSA went to nondetectable immediately (within 30 days), but over several months, my interest in sex diminished due to reduced tetesterone. Just yesterday, I started a break from the harmone therapy and I fully expect my tetesterone to bounce back and the Trimix to again work its magic. Everyone is different, but trust me, if your experience is anything like mine, you should fully expect to get things back working properly if you have no other issues than what you have described. Your goal (and my goal) should be to match your father's great success and make it to at least 91 with prostate cancer. We actually have a better chance with the progress that has been made in terms of treatments (as well as the fantastic information availavle on this discussion board). Good Luck - and again, do not assume that your sex life is over!! Let us know how it goes.
For maintaining the ability to get and keep an erection that's sufficient for sexual intercourse, you want to consult someone NOW! I ended up developing venous leakage and my ability to perform sexually was just gone no matter what. I tried viagra, penile injections and nothing worked to restore functionality. I ended up getting a penile implant, which works and adds to the girth, but lengthwise, my penis is def not what it used to be even with the implant.
Don't wait, especially if ADT is part of your treatment. If I knew then what I know now, I would have started treatment with viagra before having the surgery.
Best place to go for info is MSK's men's sexual health website. It's run by Dr Mulhall and will provide plenty of info to consider. Dr Mulhall was the surgeon that did my implant and is a leader in this field. Impotence isn't guaranteed, but as they "better safe than sorry" or "an ounce of prevention, is worth a pound of cure". You get the idea.
If you want to your ability to maintain an erection, although for almost everyone not as strongly as before, and have pleasure you should be talking with someone in your urologists office now, and using Viagra now. I had RP some years ago now, no recurrence of cancer at least so far (PSA tests OK since). I use Viagra and a kind of ring, and have regained some functioning, and kegels probably helped, too (don't know for sure or how much). It took a couple years for me to get to the level of functioning where I am now. I don't use injections, I personally find them a real turnoff, but they work for many people. But get professional advice NOW, the principle is USE or LOSE. Best of luck!
You have traumatic injury that destroyed capillaries. Without blood flow, there will be no erections. You might try 25 mg of Viagra every 2-3 days to increase blood flow. It worked for me 16 years ago. I talked it over with my cardiologist and radiation oncologist. Both said to try as it was unique common sense approach. It worked.
My URO's PA wrote me a script for 5mg daily tadalafil (Cialis, which now has generics at lower prices) which is intended to preserve blood flow to the tissue while healing occurs and nerve irritation subsides -- NOW is the time to check with your URO about this! She said that at some point, you may notice some slight firming and/or thickening of the base of the penis, which are good signs. Getting spontaneous nocturnal erections or 'morning wood' would be a very good sign. Once there are signs of reawakening, then erection inducing doses of viagra or cialis could be used. While waiting for this to occur, she said (and I definitely agree!) that tri-mix injections can be beneficial and aid in making your sex life more enjoyable by making intercourse possible in addition to 'outercourse'. I tried the penis pump (vacuum erection device), but with no success as an aid to making an erection capable of penetration, but still infrequently use it as an added measure to ensure blood flow.
Seven months after surgery, I had adjuvant radiation which irritated my nerves and reset my two year clock for recovery from ED. I still had ED when RT started; however, after surgery, I had some issues with my mom dying, osteitis pubis, bladder infection, and incontinence and probably didn't pay sufficient early attention to penile rehab. Can't change the past, so I'm just moving forward and doing what I can. If no results, maybe in two years I'll get an implant.
As always, everyone's case is different and good stats still don't give guarantees.
I am 10 years in on the journey and currently taking Xtandi along with Lupron. Although not as frequent, Mr. Happy still works after nerve sparing surgery some 10 years ago. It almost always requires, as the wife puts it, "Intense Wiener Therapy" and instructional videos but damn if Mr Happy doesn't come alive. Although a bit shorter. I am 100% certain this is a gift from the Almighty for staying the course and I thank Him for ever moment.
After your RPD did the doctor tell you what your Gleason score was? I don't think you mentioned it here in your post. That's important info.
As far as that word (whispering 'sex') is concerned for me its "hit the road jack". Take most of the members advice and attack the issue asap before you start (whispering 'sex') that word If you don't use it.... you lose it....
If you go the ADT route be ready for life changes. Mood Swings, Crying Jags, Weight Gain, Man Boobs, Flashes, Peeing issues and an eye for high heels..... Other than that you'll be just fine.
Good Luck, and Congratulations to you and that lucky woman for tying the knot in a couple of months.....
Married Advice: Learn this three sentences asap: YES DEAR....... NO DEAR....... I WAS ONLY LOOKING DEAR.....
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