The Mental Game: Happy New Year to... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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The Mental Game

FGSmith profile image
14 Replies

Happy New Year to everyone here and thanks for all the informative posts.

I have been taking Lupron and Zytiga with prednisone following a Divinci prostatectomy since June 2019 and my PSA remains undetectable. Dear wife, children, and MO all say to be thankful for the results so far and enjoy life. I can not just get my mind clear of what the next steps will be when the current treatment fails and am constantly doing research to the point my wife said change MO if you can not trust him. I am still working full time in a high stress job, so when my mind is not on that, it is worrying about future treatment plans. I know the mind gets in the way of many things, but this is one I have not been able to clear.

So for next year I need to clear my mind - so any suggestions how?

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FGSmith profile image
FGSmith
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14 Replies
Dachshundlove profile image
Dachshundlove

Hi FGSmith

Happy New Year to you!

Do you best to live in the moment. Treatment does not have to fail. For many people a durable remission is realized. Not a cure, but I’ve met many people who’ve been trouble free years post treatment.

If you don’t feel like you have a good MO, find somebody else.

Out of curiosity, was your disease organ confined or metastasized when you had the surgery?

FGSmith profile image
FGSmith in reply to Dachshundlove

thanks for your response

I had an MRI done before the surgery and the tumor did not appear to be connected to wall or to be outside, but one lymph node was enlarged, so they also took out some lymph nodes during the surgery in hope of a cure. Unfortunately a lymph node in my stomach metastasized and my PSA increased after the surgery from when detected. I do like my MO and trust him, I just like to do more research so I understand things better.

Magnus1964 profile image
Magnus1964

There are a lot of ADT drugs; casodex, xtandi, etc. Also, have your DNA tested for abnormalities. If so there are new treatments in that direction.

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen

I did it by practicing mindfulness. It took about 3 months of daily practice until it became second nature. I recommend you practice in a class setting rather than trying it alone - I think it helps create a discipline if you have to do it in a class. Google "mindfulness" and "your city" - there are classes almost everywhere these days.

FGSmith profile image
FGSmith in reply to Tall_Allen

thank you - excellent point - I have been looking to go to a support group and this is another direction to look at

Cisco99 profile image
Cisco99 in reply to Tall_Allen

Does DBT training equate to mindfulness?

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen in reply to Cisco99

No, they are different, but that may be effective too.

It is live in the moment . Please don’t predict bad on yourself . But of course I understand . APC is a ball of anxiety .. we all live with it . Always be positive and heal yourself any way you can . Are you exercising? Most important. I commend you mucho for being able to contend with a high stress job while doing pc treatments. More power to ya! So far so good for you . You can keep that psa undetech for years ... we all carry APC with us to the end more or less . For now let it run and hide . It’s no friend of ours...That’s a good day . Celebrate life? Happy New Years .

Olivia007 profile image
Olivia007

My dad is 82 and his lived with it for 6 years it spread to his bone but he is doing well. It’s hard not to focus on it but u know u have it there are many treatments for it where you will live a long life most people die from other health issues so try to remember that that this disease may not kill you something else can. Don’t let this rob you of your life u won’t get a second chance not to worry

Mormon1 profile image
Mormon1

Zytiga has saved my life. Two years and counting. Thank you Heavenly Father. 🙏🏻

Captain_Dave profile image
Captain_Dave

I had surgery in 2010 and radiation in 2013. PSA rising very slowly since then, now onco wants to talk about our options. I used to read for hours every night on the computer, pouring over every article I could find. Had hundreds of sites bookmarked. Followed a very strict diet. Strict to a fault and truckloads of supplements. When I would get my blood taken for PSA, I would lose sleep waiting for the results. Wife said that I was obsessive. My thought is that it made me feel in control of something that I could not control.

Not sure what has changed, but I am more laid back now. Decent diet lots of veggies, some fruits and mainly fish for meat/protein. Once in a blue moon, I indulge in eating BBQ ribs. I do try to meditate with some recordings that I downloaded onto my tablet. It helps a lot. And exercise is my savior. I ride my exercise bike, walk the dog and just bought some weights. Keep seeing articles about exercise and cancer. Exercise makes me feel better and sleep better. I just take a couple basic supplements now. Through it all, the slow rise of PSA has not made any difference with my relaxed diet and fewer supplements. It's the same rise as when I was eating strict and spending a lot of bucks on tons of supplements. I also physically feel better now.

I have grandkids that I need to enjoy. Take them fishing. I recently went to my grandson's grade school. They had a program one morning called "Donuts with Dudes." I took time off work and drove an hour and a half to his school to enjoy a donut with him. Before I wouldn't go in a room with donuts, like one would kill me. That hour with my grandson was one of the most wonderful hours that I ever spend.

Five years ago I was at a job that was mega-stress. My boss was a tyrant who altho he had been reported to HR, they wouldn't do anything. He should have been fired for how he treated people. I was at this corporation for over 30 years, thought I could retire from the place. They started laying people off every 6 months, this continued for years and I think is still going on today. The place was killing me. Five years ago, I gave my resume to a co-worker who had been laid off from there and found another place. They called me and hired me. I still have friends at the old place who I talk with. Every time I talk to them, they say it's worse. They say they stay because they get 5 or 6 weeks of vacation time. I left, lost my big vacation time and started at a new place. They treat me very well, I really like it. I now have 2 weeks vacation time. I would never go back. Those people are dying from stress there, hanging on to there vacation time, hoping they don't get laid off.

Look for ways to improve your journey. Most of us will still be here years from now. Do what you can to improve your health, but losing sleep looking for an article about some spice that kills cancer cells is not doing you any good. You need your sleep. Find some things to be grateful for. Enjoy life. If your job is killing you, find something else, I am example that it is possible. Or learn to let go of it, don't wreck your health for some tyrant boss who is projecting his insecurities on all his employees.

Good luck & Happy New Year to all

Dandellis profile image
Dandellis in reply to Captain_Dave

Well said Dave, two places we shouldn't spend slot of time in, the past and the future!! Sounds like you have a good grip on priorities!! Remember your job is what you do, not who you are!!

FGSmith profile image
FGSmith in reply to Captain_Dave

ahh don't we wish we had that mindset 30 years ago instead of the need to climb the corporate ladder - congrats on the donut day - it is things like that that keep us going - and there is nothing like being outside smoking some ribs for hours.

Cisco99 profile image
Cisco99

Really good question. I use several different approaches.

1) smell the flowers, coffee, etc. Everyone here does this. Must be hard when you're working FT.

2) Pretend it's happening to someone else. You're just a casual observer. Detach from the drama, but pity the poor schmuck it's happening to.

3) Indulge in your fears but bear in mind -- if you're in your 60s or older -- you know lots and lots of people who will go away before you do. You are not being thrown into a volcano all alone. Shit is happening to everybody. You at least have lots of time to be mellow, be terrified, be in pain (sometimes), write your rueful memoir, getting to know the people you love deeper and deeper and deeper.

4) Watch a lot of TV. I like Chaplin, Laurel & Hardy, any movie in which the good guy gets run over by a steamroller. Identify and laugh accordingly.

5) Remember that, as a man, you have always been a bit of a scoundrel -- selfish, sneaking around, in denial, playing video games. We all are. You richly deserve this!

After that, I'm tapped. I reflect that I'm getting lots of attention. Old misgivings melt away. You occupy a very special place.

Love love love, man

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